Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

Anonymous asked: *curtsies* Mighty duke, I've been taught at school that the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet is actually a sonnet, but you recently assured that this is incorrect. Could you please explain why? I'm starting to doubt everything my teacher says

dukeofbookingham:

*Curtsies* First things first: There is no such thing as ‘the balcony scene.’ Calling it ‘the balcony scene’ is a misnomer because there’s no actual balcony involved. ‘Balcony’ wasn’t even really used as a word until about the 1610s; Romeo and Juliet was written in the 1590s. Romeo says “What light through yonder window breaks?” She’s at a window. Not on a fuckin’ balcony. That’s people conflating what we have of the text and what we *think* we know of early modern theatre architecture and creating a balcony where no balcony exists in the world of the play. So that’s the first problem. Second problem: Romeo and Juliet do speak a sonnet together but it’s in the scene at the Capulets’ ball when they first meet, not in the incorrectly-termed ‘balcony’ scene. (It’s Act I, Scene 5 and it starts with If I profane with my unworthiest hand if you’re looking for it.) Yes, there is a sonnet. No, there is no balcony. And there definitely isn’t a sonnet on a balcony at any point.

niuniujiaojiao:

raptorific:

Shakespeare would seriously laugh so hard if he found out how seriously people take his works. Like, he would probably cry from laughing so hard if you told him that his plays were considered high-brow literature. “It’s all dick jokes and sword fights,” he’d say, “do they seriously tell my dick jokes to schoolchildren? And the kids aren’t allowed to laugh? Do the teachers know they’re telling dick jokes? Oh my god that’s fucking hilarious. Wait until I tell Anne.”

“You’re telling me my fourth most popular quote on Goodreads is that dick joke from Twelfth Night? And people actually think that when I said ‘greatness,’ I meant like, high standing and shit, and not dicks? Oh my god. Oh my god. This is the greatest day of my life.”

(via lupinatic)

the-real-will-shakespeare:

ladylannistark:

*whispers* if Shakespeare could pass the bechdel test despite writing in an inherently patriarchal and routinely misogynistic society then you, modern day writers, have literally no excuse

*whispers* you really, really don’t

(Source: bloomsburys, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

thepurposeofplaying:

theprettygoodgatsby:

my favorite part of hamlet is at the beginning when they see the ghost of hamlet sr for the first time

and the guards are like “Horatio, you go talk to it! You went to college!”

and Horatio is like “Yeah! I did go to college! I will go talk to the ghost!”

like. where did horatio go to college. did he go to ghost college

YES, ACTUALLY YES HE FUCKING DID BC

(a) EVERY COLLEGE THEN WAS GHOST COLLEGE bc ghosts were widely believed to be Real™ n thus scholars learnt abt them. moreover, as everybody knows, ghosts only communicate in Latin; Latin is the scholastic language. Horatio is a scholar, thus both knows abt ghosts and knows Latin, so it is very reasonable to assume he will b able to ask this one what up (as obviously sth must b up 4 it 2b wandering around, why else wld it b here, gawd, this is like. the most basic of basic-level shit)

(B) WITTENBERG WHERE HORATIO STUDIES WAS LIKE. T H E MOST SPOOPY OF GHOST COLLEGES bc they were alllllll about theology n the supernatural n shit so SUPPOSING HORATIO WILL KNO HIS SHIT ABT GHOSTS IS IN FACT A THOROUGHLY SENSIBLE ASSUMPTION

this has been said before but i am fucking adding it again bc it HACKS ME TF OFF when ppl reblog the post w/o commentary as if OP jsut fucking checkmated Shakespeare when in fact all they managed to do was fail at the most basic historical contextualisation of this scene n make a fcuking fool of emselves lmao

You’re my favorite.  All others need not apply.

(Source: corvidcall, via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

firebreathingeli:

actualscience:

firebreathingeli:

actualscience:

firebreathingeli:

actualscience:

firebreathingeli:

actualscience:

firebreathingeli:

actualscience:

firebreathingeli:

actualscience:

firebreathingeli:

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

i do bite my thumb, sir

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

is the law on our side if i say ay?

No

no, sir, i do not bite my thumb at you sir; but I bite my thumb, sir

Do you quarrel, sir?

quarrel, sir? no sir

if you do, sir, i am for you: i serve as good a man as you

No better

well, sir

DOST THOU WANT TO FUCKING GO, SIR?

DOST THOU THINK THOU CAN FUCKING TAKE ME, BRO?

DOST THOU EVEN HOIST? OUT TO THE COURT YARD, WITH HASTE.  

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

nixhouseofcards:

eeddis:

rosequuuartz:

I want someone to do a production of a midsummers night’s dream but instead of it taking place in a forest it takes place in ikea

#*squints* you make a compelling argument actually#shakespeare#I want this#I want one where the audience moves with the actors#all around ikea#& the play is stretched out#super long#around & around ikea#until you have lost sense of#direction & time & even language#then back out to the exit#for the very end#puck makes the speech#‘think but this and all is mended’#& then finally you are free#free to step out into the light again#into the mortal realms#or you go for meatballs idk (x)

This is what Shakespeare was meant for.

(Source: genos-tals, via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

iouafez:

So I’m in theatre class

We’re working on Shakespeare scenes for competition

A couple of freshmen boys are doing a scene that mentions a sword

The teacher is trying to tell them that they do not need to have a prop sword

They are not understanding

So young

So naive

“90% of the time” she says

“When Shakespeare says ‘sword,’ he’s not talking about a metal sword”

They are still not understanding

The rest of the class understands

We know what we are witnessing

The destruction of innocence

They are so new to the ways and language of the bard

Cinnamon rolls

Pure

Unaffected by theatre kids

Untouched by the horrors of the world

They still do not understand

The teacher does not know what else to do

She knows they cannot go to competition wielding an actual prop sword

She knows they will eventually learn

The class knows this too

We are dying to know what she will say next

She opens her mouth

We are on the edge of our seats

She yells

“LETS TALK ABOUT PENISES!”

Whoop.

There it is

The secret is out

Shakespeare makes dick jokes

Theatre teachers sometimes say things other teachers don’t

It is a shock to their system

In their minds, the kill bill siren

Their world has turned upside down

We can see it in their face

We lose it

We are accustomed to this

We have heard worse

But seeing their faces

It is too much

At this moment

The door opens

A sophomore enters

This is his first theatre class

All he heard was

“Let’s talk about penises”

He shouts out in a confused horror

The cycle is never ending

(Source: its-maria-not-maria, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

iamthepureblindraven:

theumbrellaseller:

one thing I find hilarious is when Shakespeare quotes are used out of context

like, people are always saying “some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” as if it’s all deep and meaningful when actually it comes from a prank letter in Twelfth Night

and “This above all: to thine own self be true” comes from Polonius in Hamlet wherein the joke is that he’s an old pompous dude giving a long and rambling speech full of contradictory pointless advice to his son

“Brevity is the soul of wit” is another joke, because again, it’s made by Polonius who will just not shut up

it’s “we are such stuff as dreams are made on” not “of “, as in, “such stuff as dreams are built on”

“wherefore art thou, Romeo” doesn’t mean “where are you, Romeo” it means “why the fuck are you called Romeo, shit, I wanted to bang you but I can’t because you’re a goddamn Montague”

all these lines have acquired a kind of dignity in text that they never had in performance or are constantly misinterpreted

It’s not necessarily bad but it is kind of funny, sometimes.

#GREATNESS THRUST UPON THEM WAS A SEX JOKE #THE GREATNESS #WAS HIS PENIS #HIS FUCKING PENIS #STOP USING IT SERIOUSLY IT WAS A DICK JOKE #IM B E G G I N G YOU (x)

I see these VERY SERIOUS POSTS with the ‘greatness’ line and I’m just like…no.  It’s a dick joke.  Rule of thumb for William “This Seems Like A Good Moment For A Sex Joke” Shakespeare: if it has the word ‘thrust’ in it, it’s a sex joke.

(via lupinatic)