- Me: *sits down to read Augustine* Alright dude I tend to dislike theologians who worship you so I'm just gonna assume we're not going to get along. Behave yourself and this will be over for both of us quickly.
- Augustine: *argues that evil has no substance in its own right, but is simply the interruption of God-given good by human action, and that by virtue of being vulnerable to evil influence, creation must still be essentially good, nay, very good.*
- Me: *tearing up in a Starbucks* Whatever.