Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

I’m Taking A Poll

words-writ-in-starlight:

All right, so, those of you who’ve been around long enough may or may not recall that my practice when I hit a round number of followers is to post some original writing (see: Methods of Inheritance and Sabbatical).  And I’m coming up on 400, so I’ll be doing that again!  But!  I have…a lot of original fiction.  A lot of original fiction.  So I’m going to offer a list of options, and you lot can tell me which one you’d like to see!  To vote, you can reply to this post or reblog it, or send me a message, although I’d prefer the ask box over a private message just because it’ll be easier to collate the answers that way.  For the novels, obviously, you’d be getting an excerpt, probably 2-5 pages.  Any short stories, though, you’d get all of.

Polaris: the revolutionary girlfriends with superpowers novel (as yet incomplete).  Like.  There’s more detail, obviously.  But that’s pretty much what we’re dealing with there.  There are a bunch of LGBT characters and a few superpowers and a revolution, thus: revolutionary girlfriends with superpowers novel.  Tag is here if you want more detail.

Falls the Shadow: my best beloved novel about the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, led by Sam, the Horseman of Death and Antichrist.  This one’s complete, but it is H E F T Y at 250K words.  I’m editing it down.  Tag is here, but no one asks me about it, so there’s not much there.  First of a trilogy.

Battalion: the novel where angels happened and fucked everything up, and humans have been fucking them over in response for about 70 years (incomplete).  Yep.  That’s here, and there is exactly one post.

Stories From the Second War: a triad of short stories technically set in the FtS universe, about Heaven’s war against the Nephilim.  Um…they’re dark.  The Nephilim are monstrous.  But I think they might be some of my favorite writing I’ve done.  They are Tell All the Truth (But Tell It Slant) and To Fight Aloud, Is Very Brave (Uniforms of Snow), both from the perspective of the leader of the Nephilim, and The Stillness in the Air (Between Heaves of Storm), from the perspective of her hunting partner.  I’d put all three on here as a set, because I think they work best that way.

Deorum (Of Gods): a short story I wrote for that writing class I hated.  Jack, the main character, lives in a city populated partly by mortals and partly by the gods of the world’s pantheons–Idunn owns a coffee shop, Apollo teaches art at an elementary school, Ninkasi runs a bar, and dark things live in the woods.  Jack attracts more gods than he’s strictly comfortable with, and they all seem to know him remarkably well….  I don’t know if it’s my best work in terms of quality, but I definitely think it’s up there as the most fun.  This is about forty pages, so I’d have to post it piecemeal.  

So…yeah.  Anyone have a preference?

So, after much hassling from my parents and my dear roommate, I went in to talk to my physics teacher and I went “So, it’s come to my attention that I’m way too ADHD to be getting as much out of this class as you seem to think I should be, do you have any tips.”  Because, you know, sitting in a classroom watching a teacher derive equations on the board for an hour doesn’t play great with attention issues and a total inability to sit still.  It also causes problems on exams with a strict time limit for obvious reasons.  And like it’s not that uncommon an issue so, foolishly, I assumed that he would have literally any help at all to offer me.  

He suggested that I make sure I’ve done the reading before every class, in detail, so that I won’t have to pay as much attention in class since I’ll ‘already know the material.’  Because clearly reading between twenty and fifty pages of extremely dense physics textbook is going to go so much better.  CLEARLY the best solution to attention deficit problems.  OBVIOUSLY.  The more fool ME for not thinking of it, right?  Who wouldn’t think of that as the obvious solution to ADHD?  God, Moran, what are you even doing with your life if you’re not meticulously doing the reading for everything?  Because God forbid I realize that doing the reading is literally useless to me, even in classes I give even a single iota of a fractional fuck about as anything except a mandatory requirement.

Since I’m probably abusing sarcasm at this point: I just want to punch him in his smug asshole face.  Really hard.  A lot.  Also the next time he laughs at me for not getting something I might actually flip a table.

Don’t Reblog This

So I don’t make a ton of personal posts.  But.  I don’t really know what to do.

Here’s the deal, kiddies.  I have issues (anger issues, ADHD that’s been undiagnosed and sometimes penalized for…eh, going on 19 years–that public school system, though–some sensory issues, some other stuff).  And some of them have been causing me trouble lately, specifically the ones pertaining to my extended family (more fun than a goddamn barrel of monkeys) and my delightful history with folks of the male gender (sometime I should tell the story about when I punched a boy in the fourth grade and got put in detention for it) and another incident that happened when I was eight that I’m not going to go into because I don’t want to upset anyone (if you want to know, you can ask, but…like…love thyself, it’s not a nice story).  It’s particularly that last one that’s causing me trouble, though.  

I’ve always been what my parents and I politely call ‘wary’ and less politely call ‘fucking wired,’ and I’ve always had more nightmares than peaceful dreams, and when I’m having a bad week I’ve been known to kind of freak out when someone opens a door and takes me by surprise.  And from time to time I get flashbacks–not the full technicolor things you see on TV, just physical sensations and the occasional visual image, but trust me, I’ve tried really hard to come up with another phrase and there just isn’t one–and I get those anywhere from once every couple months to…more, depending on if I’m around the appropriate triggers (dentist’s equipment and anything else medical that comes toward my face, sometimes a handful of other things like being restrained or held down with a weight on my chest).  And, you know, I’m a medical person, and furthermore I had the revelatory experience a few years back that I think a lot of people do after they leave an abusive situation (see previous re: my extended family) where I was like ‘oh, right, most people don’t have stories about the time they had to be rescued from their grandparent by their mother because that’s not normal’, so I’ve spent the last five years or so collating a mental list of the things that make people look concerned when I mention them.  And it’s come to my attention that the flashbacks and the extreme startle reflex and the nightmares/distressed sleep-talking and the not-ever-sitting-with-my-back-to-the-door-and-always-knowing-my-exits-cold (fun fact: it’s called hypervigilance) are…not normal.  (You’ve got to understand that they’re normal for me, though, okay, it took me almost 20 years because I’ve been like this almost my whole life, so cut me some slack for being dense.)  And so I did some research and then I took an abnormal psychology class (as you do, because no one can ever say I’m not really really thorough) and…yeah, I have managed to drag myself, 11 years late, to the fucking blindingly obvious conclusion that I have some PTSD issues in addition to those listed above, pertaining to both the incident when I was eight and the other stuff with my extended family/men.  Like, I am a fucking sparkling diagnostic example of post-traumatic stress disorder.

And I just.  Feel so fucking broken about it.  And before you jump down my throat, look, I have given the lecture about PTSD not being a sign of weakness, etc, etc, to several people, with extreme conviction and emphasis and I’ve been convincing as shit, okay, I convinced my dad to attend therapy and I talk to my mom about our mutual issues (her family is worse than Dad’s and fucked us up in some of the same ways, or at least relatable ways) and I get it, okay?  

But.

I feel like the second I decide to live with that, all the really goddamn hard work I did over the last however-long to build the person I wanted to be after my extended family wrecked me will just fucking evaporate.  Because they will have been right all along about how fucking weak and fragile I am, how I obsess over the little stuff and take things too much to heart, how I can’t just get over it.  And I worked so fucking hard to be strong and to be able to protect people and take care of them and to not be this scared eight-year-old anymore, and…Christ.  Am I making any sense here?  I doubt it.  I mean, good God, if you’re still reading I goddamn salute you.  I wouldn’t be listening to me bitch about my relatively minor issues anymore.  

Just.  How do I even start to deal with that part of myself?

So…like…question for the void.  I wrote about 20 pages of original fiction for a class I’m taking.  It’s not like this is exactly a first, as anyone who was following me around New Year’s is probably aware–I write so much original fiction, like hundreds of thousands of words, like whole novels–but it is a first that this is a short story I wrote that I’m going to have to share with a bunch of people for editing.  And I kind of figured that, hey, in for a penny and all that shit, so as long as I’m having a panic attack about my class reading this thing, I could ask the internet if they wanted to read this thing.  Sooooo…anybody want to read 12K of some poor dude named Jack dealing with a city populated of every polytheistic pantheon in human history?

I was tagged by @kinshula

Rules: Tag 10 bloggers you want to get to know better.

Birthday: March 12th

Gender: Female

Relationship status: Single and too goddamn busy to mingle.

Zodiac sign: The most un-Pisces to ever Pisces, or at least so I’ve been told

Siblings: Not a one, nay, not a one.

Favorite color: Um, bright red and black, with an option on royal purple. 

Pets: Two dogs, one of whom loves everyone and the other one of whom barely deigns to like my parents.

Wake-up and sleep time: Well, I’m in college, so I wake up 7-8 on class days, barring crippling exhaustion.  I actually hate sleeping, it kind of bores me to tears and I rarely sleep well, so I do sleep later than that on weekends but it makes me irritable as hell.  Sleep? Ahaha…what’s that again?  I try to get to sleep around midnight at the latest, but also…college is sort of what happens when you’re making plans, so.

Coke or pepsi: None of the above

Day or night: I am a ‘consciousness’ person.  Six in the morning, two in the afternoon, midnight, if I’m awake I’m happy, if I’m asleep or going to sleep I’m not.  But I guess night.

Text or call: Phones freak me right the fuck out.  No.  I always text when I can get away with it, except with my parents and my best friend.

Make up or natural: I usually can’t be bothered with makeup, but even when I take the time I only end up wearing this blood-of-my-enemies shade of lipstick I enjoy.

Met a celebrity: Nope.

Smile or eyes: On others? I generally go with ‘both.’  A good, honest smile should make someone’s eyes light up.  On me?  Um…my smile is kind of strange-looking, too many teeth, and my eyes are nice, but fairly unremarkable.

Light or dark hair: I ended up with dark brown hair.  On other people I generally go for darker hair as well.

Shorter or taller: I’m five goddamn feet tall and I will fight your tall ass.

intelligence or attraction: Both, come at me, I don’t have to choose shit.

Chapstick or lipstick: Depends on how much attention I’m willing to pay.

City or country:  CITY.  God, I moved out of the Twin Cities when I was a kid and I’ve lived in small towns ever since and all I want from life is an apartment in a city of >1 million people.

Edit: it’s been about…many months since I did this and I totally thought I’d done the thing but apparently I forgot to post it.  It’s like 1:30 in the morning so I’m not able to think of 10 people to tag so I’ll go with…uh…okay, let’s see, @bonehandledknife, @amusewithaview, @allgreymatters, and what the hell, my own dear platonic wife, @twistedangelsays.  Yeah, that’s four people, I’m dead tired or I’d be able to think of more, sorry, guys.

tanaebrianab:

People with good parents get so offended when abused children speak negatively of their parents. Like…REALLY offended lol.

They say things like “Your mom would do anything for you” and “Your parents sacrificed a lot for you!” and “I don’t respect anyone who talks down on their parents.”

But just because YOUR parents would do anything for you and sacrificed a lot for you doesn’t mean it applies to all parents. We don’t have the same experience boo. You can’t tell me shit about what my mama would do for me. All moms and dads are not created equal.

REALLY THIS.  And I’ve discovered that…like, it extends past parents.  Like, don’t get me wrong, my parents are absolutely as good as it gets, they’re great people and they would support me if I said I wanted to make seashell necklaces for the rest of my life (actually no, I’ve always been ridiculously Type A so they would take me to a hospital if I said that, but the point stands).  My extended family?  Genuine, bona-fide, abusive train wreck.  They spectacularly fucked up my parents, who I can never thank enough for the trouble they’ve taken to protect me as best they can.  It’s just…a fact of life in my experience that my grandparents treat me like I’m either worthless because I’m terrible at everything or worthless because I’m a girl.  My aunts and uncles and cousins (with VERY few exceptions) have taken the party line my entire life.  And that’s behavior that I generally consider benign from them.  I get panic attacks when they contact me, and the few people who really push the point about “Oh, but they’re your family, you must love them!” and “But they’re your family, of course they love you” piss me the fuck off.  Because it doesn’t always work like that.  Sometimes something breaks along the line.

I don’t usually say this, but: you don’t know my life.  Similarly, I don’t know yours.  You tell me you have issues with your parents?  Shit, you tell me that you’re waiting on someone to die so that you can get the fuck out?  Cool, bro.  I’m still here for you, whatever you need.  Treat me well and I’ll back you in anything, because fuck, you know what?  I’m waiting on my grandmother to die so that I don’t have to fucking watch my mother worry anymore.  I’m waiting on her to die so that I can cry and scream for the kid I should have been.  I’m waiting for her to die so that I can go to a funeral in a red dress she would have hated, over combat boots that would have made her furious, wearing red lipstick that would have made me call her a whore.  Yeah.  Sometimes family is shitty.  It doesn’t always pan out nicely and you never get to tell someone what they’re allowed to feel about it.

(Source: tanae-briana, via bonehandledknife)

barrydeutsch:

eusamie:

masterdwalin:

recreationalcannibalism:

goldenheartedrose:

prosthetical:

goldenheartedrose:

withthesecinderedbones:

zombiecazz:

hencegoodfortune:

a-singer-of-songs:

i-will-not-be-caged:

bmwiid:

drst:

brutereason:

I had a realization the other day that seems obvious in retrospect, but I hadn’t put these two things together before.

I was telling my mom that I’m kind of dreading having a private practice someday because it’ll mean working lots of late nights to accommodate my clients’ schedules and make enough money, and as I know from working 12-8 last year, that’ll wreck my social life. She was like, “So you’ll have a social life on the weekends.” And I’m like, and what, spend every weekday night alone in my apartment because it’s too late to go out and see people? She gave me this knowing look and was like, “Well, hopefully you won’t be *alone*…”

That’s when it hit me that this thing–this whole monogamous couple/nuclear family ideal thing–directly enables work to take over our entire lives. Because, yes, if I had someone living in my house–in my bedroom, even–who prioritizes me higher than anyone else in his (because, let’s face it, it would always be a he in this scenario) life, who doesn’t sleep with or date any other people, who treats his free time as our shared time, who drops plans with friends or family the moment I need him, who convincingly promises to never leave me–if I had someone like that, and if I believed in that fantasy, then yes, I’d be fine working late every night and coming home at 9. I could see my friends on weekends sometimes, but I wouldn’t *need* to because I’d never be lonely or bored.

Because however you look at it, cultivating and maintaining a group of friends and a broader social circle or community takes more effort–especially more *intentional* effort–than cultivating just one person with whom you share your life. When we have to work unreasonable hours just to get by, guess which one’s more likely to fall by the wayside?

No wonder it feels like my like-minded friends and I are constantly wading through waist-deep snowdrifts. It’s not set up to work the way we want it to. Yes, life would be easier if I had someone who is always a few yards (or less) away from me when we’re not at work and who can provide romance, friendship, emotional support, entertainment, household help, financial assistance, AND hot sex (and maybe eventually co-parenting) without me ever needing to seek out other people or even leave the house. But that’s…horrifying.

Remember that the nuclear family ideal (husband/wife/child as the entire family unit) is an aberration of the 20th century. Everyone else in the world for almost all of human history has lived in large groups, either tribes or extended families, usually a blend of both. When a woman married she joined her husband’s family, or he joined hers, but humans have generally always lived in large groups with multiple generations sharing space for all of our history.

Our western experiment with making two people entirely dependent on each other for all of the emotional support normal people get from a large extended family group is part of the reason we’ve got a high divorce rate. One person isn’t enough to sustain another entirely.

I think as well, this is why so many single people (like me!) get so damn LONELY. 

I recently bought a house (by myself) and I pay all the bills, buy all the food, ect, because it’s just me that lives here. 

And at night, I’m so fucking LONELY. My coupled friends don’t get it, they want some peace and quiet to get away from the kids, or the hubby - and when I say “I’m so bored” they don’t get it. 

My ONLY FACE-TO-FACE interaction is at work. 

That’s it. If I don’t make the effort to go out at weekends, I see no one.

Sure, I can talk to people on the phone, and I have online friends… but you know, I don’t remember the last time I got a hug?

Yup. I went to a coworker who I’m close to the other day and asked for a hug because I couldn’t remember the last time I touched another human being. Dog cuddles can only take me so far.

Holy shit, it’s what I’ve been saying the whole time.  I’m super introverted, but I /need/ people around me.  I will go to coffee shops just to talk to the barista and hear people around me, because I get so lonely.  I routinely turn into a clingy, touchy-feely person when I’m home because that is the only place I get hugs.  Do you know how many times I have become just… absolutely depressed and unhappy, just because I want a fucking hug and there’s no one to hug?  There was this admin assistant when I started here and she and I talked a lot and I’d go by her office just to say hi, and she would always, ALWAYS give me a hug.  And then she left, and now I don’t get hugs.  Which maybe seems like a weird thing to be upset about, but I am, routinely.

People ask me how I put up with having a roommate all the time, and why I don’t just live by myself rather than playing roommate roulette and maybe getting a bad roommate (hasn’t happened so far, though).  It’s because I go CRAZY when I live alone.  Sure, having the cats around helps, but I seriously DO NOT deal well living by myself.  I’ve tried it, and I can handle it for about three weeks to a month, but after that it starts to really wear on me, especially if I’m dealing with a lot of stress or something at school/work.  I often joke that I don’t care if I ever get married, but I would be super psyched if someone I really liked (or multiple someones, even better) and got along with wanted to be roommates forever and ever so at least I’d know I wouldn’t be alone.

Right, this. Positive social contact, including friendly touch, is a thing that most-to-all humans very much need. I’m both pretty solitary and pretty good at keeping my chin up even when things aren’t ideal, but when I look back at my life the unhappiest part of it by far was the part where I was most isolated. And I’ve never even had to deal with living alone, so who knows how I’d handle that.

And, honestly, that expectation – on a societal level! – that everyone will find one person and basically build a life around them and only them…like OP said, I find that pretty horrifying. Especially when the dominant socially acceptable alternative is the aforementioned intense loneliness. Good grief.

So to summarise - working full time long hours plays havoc with having a social life.

We need a social life or we get sick and lonely.

Therefore we should stop working long hours and use our free time to cultivate friendships.

Sound freaking excellent idea to me.

If we actually had enough space for all of us I’ve said more than once that I could live with my siblings forever. Right now there’s five people and two emotionally best cats living in our three bedroom house so it’s not great.

But with enough room? Sign me up

My sister and her best friend lived next door to each other in their apartment building for a few years and it was great for them. A few nights a week they’d make dinner together or go out and do something. They watched certain shows together, splitting the cost of cable so it was actually affordable. The rest of the time they had their own space and could hang out with their boyfriends whenever. Even their cats went back and forth between the apartments.

Tl;dr I could happily live in the same apartment building with a few of my friends forever.

@prosthetical and I have continually been talking about a very similar arrangement for years now.

Rose I am still 1000% serious about this. I want to live in a small queer/trans/neurodivergent commune. Like a duplex or triplex or quadplex or something similar.

Plz come here. I can’t handle living WITH your kids but I would be happy to live near them.

I swear this will be a thing. I mean obviously not now but like.. I for real want this to be a thing.

THIS THIS THIS.

I have to have communal living spaces. Living alone may work for some people but I think it’s toxic for most. Having a partner, if that’s your thing, is wonderful and it provides a much needed level of companionship. But people, coupled or otherwise, they need friends. Human beings can’t do it alone, can’t do it in duos. They need community, they need family and friends.

My dream would be living in a giant house with plenty of space and plenty of people. I’d love to have myself and my partner and then two or three other friends, either with partners or alone, all living together, eating together, hanging out and spending time. We could all work to support the whole house as a group, as a family. Maybe even all raising kids together at a future point. That’s living the dream for me.

I’m really dreading school now that I’m going full time, because all my friends are online. I have few to no real life friends who are more than acquaintances. I have family as roommates, but I’m going to move out next semester with god knows who. I’m terrified.

I find I have the opposite problem?

I love my boyfriend very much and he’s probably my best friend. We have many common interests together. We co-parent. We understand each other’s introversion very well.

But like… that hasn’t stopped me from being lonely. I mean, to an extent, the longer and more committed you are as a couple, the less you NEED a dazzling social life. But you really can’t have just one. I have no one to hang out wth regularly other than my boyfriend and it’s really depressing. Sometimes I just want to talk about girl stuff, or whatever, and my bf is great about a lot of things but he doesn’t satisfy all of my needs, nor should he.

I live in a house with nine people in it (two children, seven adults). I co-own the house with two of my housemates, who have lived with me since the early 1990s; the newest housemate moved in four or five years ago, and most of us have been living in this house at least a decade. There are other friends we’d like to live with, but we never have a vacancy.

Cohousing is the best. There are problems - no living situation is without problems - but the benefit of having other people around, of having a situation in which spontaneous conversations with friends naturally occur, is (cue Donald) YUUUUUGGEE. I’ve lived alone, and it’s exactly as other folks here have described - lonely AF. I have no idea how I would have gotten through life if I didn’t have cohousing.

One thing I’ve noticed - I’m much less desperate to not be single than many of my single friends. Sure, I’d like to have a romance - but it’s not a big driving need with me. And I think that’s because I don’t have the fear of loneliness if I don’t find a girlfriend.

Also, I think this arrangement is much better for the two kids - and for their parents - than living on their own would be. If you want to become a parent, cohousing can be a great situation.

All of this.  I can confirm from unpleasant experience that communal living can go REAL BAD REAL FAST (it’s complicated, but it ended with my parents being severely depressed and broke, and baby Moran being about 75% dead from various diseases, I cannot emphasize enough the need for vaccinations when living with a lot of people), but on the other hand, living alone with a very limited social life?  I also have experience with that and I can confirm how…horribly, horribly isolating it can be (admittedly, I lived in Middle Of Nowhere, MT, and had other issues at the time, but the point remains that I’ve never been so miserable in my life and that’s actually saying something).  My beloved darling roommate and I have been living the dorm life together for over a year and we’ve basically concluded that this will continue indefinitely until we feel comfortable with another arrangement.  I recommend the roommate thing whole-heartedly.  Shit, if you want to live with a whole bunch of people who you know and trust (I cannot emphasize that last one enough, do not ever live with someone you don’t trust if you can possibly avoid it), you fucking go, just make sure that you know what you’re getting into.

Humans…we’re social animals, you know?  Even introverts need people, someone who can hold our hand when we’re in pain or stroke our hair when we’re upset, and it’s not a FLAW that you need a social life outside the internet and your possible significant other.  Fuck, that’s normal.  Fuck the ‘nuclear family’ shit, the ‘move out and get your own place’ mentality.   Live with roommates.  Live a few couples in a big house.  Live in an apartment block with a few friends.  Touch your people, hug them, watch stupid movies together, cuddle on the couch, sit in the same room doing your own things, whatever.  Just…have people.  It’s good.

(via allgreymatters)

Honestly I feel sort of ridiculously lucky re: potential ships in the upcoming Star Wars movies, and I’m realizing that it’s possibly just me?  But LET ME LAY THIS OUT FOR YOU.

MOST LIKELY: Finn/Rey.  These two children are cute as shit.  They’re just so damn excited about the world and the universe and green and the Force and each other.  Finn is all star-eyes and bear hugs, and Rey is all toothy grins and fierce protection.  It’s fucking precious.  Sit with me and think about Rey coming back from Fuckety Nowhere to find Finn recovered from his injuries and learning how to be Resistance, and she bounces off the Falcon and runs up to him and throws her arms around his neck for a hug like they did in Starkiller, and when she pulls away she holds onto one of his hands and they smile at each other like the adorable little fucks they are.  BONUS: interracial relationship between a white woman and a black man, which is still something that’s considered more than a little taboo.  Racism is a thing guys, and it’s SO IMPORTANT that representation of this sort of relationship be in the media, especially in such a big-name franchise as Star Wars.  Finn is affectionate, self-determining, and allowed to show emotions like fear and anxiety without any in-narrative penalties, and that is NOVEL, unfortunately.  And Rey is…well, Rey.  Come on, guys, I want to be Rey when I grow up and I’m sure you do too.  She’s able to be the hero, and not in the sense a lot of us are familiar with: there’s no assault, no rape, nothing like that.  She just finds a droid, and then she finds a lightsaber, and then she has the Force, and then she fights for the people she cares about, which is the same way that Luke became a hero.  No one criticizes her for being female.  THIS WOULD BE A GREAT COUPLE.

SECOND MOST LIKELY: Finn/Poe.  The jaCKET?  That is all?  No, seriously, though, this would be a great ship: the dashing pilot and the rogue Stormtrooper.  The entire base would ship it.  Poe would shout down anyone who talked about Finn being a spy, and Finn would learn Droid to talk to BB-8, Poe’s best friend.  This would be a ship with a lot of teasing smiles and laughing, arms around shoulders and warm support.  It would be about Finn learning to be an independent person and Poe welcoming someone new into his family.  BONUS: interracial gay relationship between a Guatemalan man and a black man, which is a little taboo in a different way.  Homophobia is a thing guys, and it’s SO IMPORTANT that representation of this sort of relationship be in the media, especially in cuh a big-name franchise as Star Wars.  Finn is everything I described above, and Poe is dashing, confident, intelligent, skilled…and caring toward his squadron, kind to a stranger, and respectful toward women, including those who have authority over him like Leia (insert battle hymn about the greatness of General Leia here).  Poe is a whole other thing from the standard cocky bastard of a pilot we know from movies and TV.  And please sign me right on up for this new type of dashing heroic gentleman, I am on this bullet train to a brighter future and you should be too.  THIS WOULD ALSO BE A GREAT COUPLE.

OTHER MORE UNLIKELY COUPLES: The Damerons (Finn/Poe/Rey).  It would be great for all of the reasons above, with the addition of the Poe-Rey dynamic of, I imagine, “Look at how beautiful and powerful and glorious this girl is” from Poe’s angle and “You are nice to me and handsome and I’m not sure what to do with any of that” from Rey’s.  Technically the best of all worlds (interracial! everyone is bi except possibly Rey!), but unlikely because, well, it’s a threesome, and that renders it frankly improbable for Hollywood to make it a thing.

And of course, THE ONE PAIRING I’M NOT EXCITED ABOUT: Kylo/Rey.  Um.  No.  Not least because things are looking like she’s going to be Rey Skywalker and that makes them EITHER first cousins OR siblings, depending on which twin is Rey’s parent, and yes, Luke and Leia were almost a thing, but let’s just take a hard line on No Incest this go-round, shall we?  But also because that would, I think, be wildly unhealthy unless they pulled off some sort of miracle.  And because honestly my main interest in a redemption arc for Kylo is the one that is Entirely For Leia’s Benefit, and I’ve read enough stories about poor damaged boys whose actions weren’t their fault at all being saved from themselves by the purity of love and…like…give the man the dignity of his own choices, okay?  I can feel sorry for Kylo because of the way he’s so clearly been manipulated and groomed by Snoke, but unless there’s evidence of actual legitimate mind control it’s still his choice to side with the Dark.  I have a lot of firm opinions about human dignity and free will and even though he’s currently a spectacular bastard, Kylo Ren still has free will and he has exercised it and as a human being he deserves to have his choices recognized as his own.

ANYWAY.  My point here is that no matter what you ship hardest, it needs to be recognized that either of the two most likely ships to happen will be almost groundbreaking in the representation they’ll offer.  I will make no judgements and fight no wars about what kind of representation is ‘most important’ because, you know what, it’s ALL important.  It matters that kids see interracial relationships on the big screen, presented as grand sweeping romances rather than comedy or tragedy.  It matters that kids see gay relationships that way.  It is important that teenagers and adults and children look at the characters they love and see themselves there, see the people they love there, see their friendships and relationships there.  Duking it out about who is more oppressed and therefore more deserving of that representation lessens us as people.  You, as a person reading this, deserve to see yourself in a character, in a hero, and so do the other people on the street, friends, strangers, enemies.

I want us to have it all, guys.  I want you to have everything: trans characters who are fierce and strong, women who can save galaxies, men who can be gentle and emotional and heroic, gay and lesbian romances full of light and laughter, racial diversity because, hey, when your copilot is covered in ten inches of hair what’s a little melanin between friends.  I want you to have ace characters with adoring husbands and wives, nonbinary characters and genderfluid characters whose friends would die for them no matter what their pronouns are today and vice versa, aro characters with badass spaceships full of loyal crew they love, characters with ADHD and autism and schizophrenia and depression going out to save the world with the people who care about them, physically disabled characters with blasters concealed in their prosthetics or souped up hoverchairs.  ALL OF IT.  And this movie series isn’t going to give us all that, because all of that is…it’s a lot to ask, and I know it, but I want it anyway.  But this movie is virtually guaranteed to give us something, some starting point, and you know what?  I’m ready to take what I can get while I work on finding a way to give you guys everything.