Consider this a PSA, and a pre-emptive apology for my attitude.
It’s not that I don’t care. I care very much. I care very much about the lives lost in Orlando, in the country at large, in wherever the newest shade of terrible is coming to the fore. I care very much about the grief of parents and families and friends for someone who is never coming home. I care very much about the hate dripping from the lips of people in power.
It’s just that I can’t dredge up shock for it anymore. I have hit compassion fatigue. I care, all right. I could sit down and cry for days if I let myself. I am not numb to it, I don’t really do numb. I’m just…unsurprised.
As I am currently telling Adler, I’m a cynic, yeah, I can admit that I’m actually jaded as shit. But…these are people. They aren’t my people, but they could have been, in another life. They’re someone’s people. I grieve for them. But I am not shocked, I am not surprised, it does not alter my usual level of anger. I am not even disappointed, because that would suggest a higher level of expectation than I am able to muster for humanity.
I am just…sad.
