Prompts for all your criminal needs
You are absolutely gorgeous. No, no, sorry ignore me keep putting the money in the bag you’re doing great.
I don’t really care that you’re cleaning your drug money in the laundromat, Its 4am let me wash my fucking boxers
Why are you carrying a head in an extra large pickle jar?
You are on the police’s most wanted list but you’re in my pet shop asking about how to care for your pet lizard and you are very passionate about it. So yes I am a bit flustered
Hey! You stole my wallet well technically its a wallet that I stole, but I still want it back!
I don’t care if you were here first its my dump site, take your body somewhere else
Hypothetically, would you be able to get me some Chloroform. I’m asking for a friend.
So, I’m dying, but its really important to me that someone knows where I put my-
Dude, add like a box of cereal or something. Only buying a knife set and trash bags makes you look guilty as fuck
Did you just give me your number, IN THE MIDDLE OF ME ROBBING YOU?
(via clockwork-mockingbird)
