Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

Paleontological Nomenclature: Part 2

corkboardofcuriosities:

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

ginormouspotato:

i-am-the-lordofthebears:

i-am-the-lordofthebears:

what was the name of the fish my geology teacher called “bad dude” because i put bad dude in my notes and have no idea what the real name is

update: 

this is the bad dude

it’s called dunkleosteus and it’s basically a tank with teeth

@equimanthorne

DUNKLEOSTEUS WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE TERRIFYING PREHISTORIC SEA CREATURES.  BECAUSE LOOK AT THAT FEROCIOUS MOTHERFUCKER.  BUT I RAISE YOU THIS MAGNIFICENT BASTARD:

THIS EVOLUTIONARY TRAIN WRECK WAS CALLED ALBERTONECTES, PART OF THE ELASMOSAUR FAMILY.  SEE HOW THE BAD DUDE UP TOP IS BASICALLY 80% BONE?  APPARENTLY THAT WAS A THEME, BECAUSE POOR FUCKING ALBERTONECTES HAD 76 NECK VERTEBRAE (A GRAND TOTAL OF 132).  WHY?  BECAUSE EVOLUTION AND NATURAL SELECTION WENT OUT AND GOT BLASTED TOGETHER, AND THE MESOZOIC ERA WAS THE RESULT.

LOOK AT THIS BULLSHIT.

“LOWER ESTIMATE,” IT SAYS.

WHAT THE FUCK, EVOLUTION.  GO HOME.  YOU’RE DRUNK.

(PS: IN RELATIVE SERIOUSNESS, THOUGH, GOOGLE A SCALE PICTURE OF MEGALODON.  I DARE YOU.  I’LL WAIT.  YEAH, GO SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN WITH THAT MONSTER AND I BET YOU’LL EVOLVE SOME WEIRD SHIT TOO.)

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)