Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

twoheartsneverlie:

dorksidefiker:

abotl:

txwatson:

severusluver:

gulag-nietzschean:

I LEARNED RECENTLY THAT PLATO WON THE GOLD MEDAL IN THE OLYMPICS FOR WRESTLING THREE TIMES. THIS PUTS A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON THINGS. I ALWAYS IMAGINED PLATO TO BE FRAIL AND MISSHAPEN BUT HE MUST HAVE BEEN FRICKEN RIPPED. I WONDER IF ARISTOTLE EVER FELT ANXIETY ABOUT GETTING PHYSICALLY (I.E. NOT JUST METAPHYSICALLY) DISMANTLED BY PLATO. PLATO WAS PROBABLY PISSED OFF BY AT LEAST A HANDFUL OF QUESTIONS ARISTOTLE ASKED HIM. ARISTOTLE WAS A LITERAL GENIUS TOO. IMAGINE PLATO LECTURING AND WRITING ON A BLACKBOARD AND ARISTOTLE THROWING A COMMENT OUT THERE ABOUT SOME COMPLEX MISSTEP IN PLATO’S LOGIC AND PLATO’S CHALK JUST SNAPS AND ARISTOTLE’S TESTICLES SUCK WAY BACK UP TO WHERE THEY DROPPED FROM, THEN PLATO IN A BLUR APPEARS BESIDE ARISTOTLE SITTING AT HIS DESK AND HE PICKS HIM UP AND SUPLEXES HIS MACEDONIAN ASS.

This needs to be a comic.

louisrzurn

given the content of a lot of Plato’s conclusions I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Plato responded to a lot of reasonable criticisms with “Fight me” and that was the end of it.

We’re not actually sure whether Plato is his real name! Some people speculate that, because Platon means “broad” in Greek, this was actually his wrestling nick name. Basically, it’s like Dwayne Johnson became a famous philosopher and everyone still called him “The Rock”.

Can we have a movie about Plato starring Dwayne Johnson?

You can’t convince me that wouldn’t be the best thing ever.

I didn’t know I needed this until now. If someone can write a decent screenplay, and we get enough people to talk about it, maybe he’ll actually see it and we can kickstart the shit out of it

Plato’s name is literally just the Ancient Greek for ‘Swol’ how is this the real life

(Source: rangordnung, via studyblrforbeginners)

auroralynches:

into-the-weeds:

liberty-flight:

I’m reading up on chocolate frog cards in the Harry Potter universe, for reasons, and-

“Came up with the ever changing floor plan.” 

Really, Ravenclaw? Really?

“You know what this school needs? To not make any sense-”

“Rowena, I don’t think-”

“Exactly, you don’t think. I’m brilliant and this is perfect. Moving staircases, walls that think they’re doors-”

“But how will the students get to class?”

“They’ll have to figure it out.”

“…”

“Everyday. They will figure it out everyday. My students will live in a tower and navigate these stairs every time.”

“The stairs move! This doesn’t seem safe…I think I’ll put my common room in the basement, Rowena.”

“Ditto. I think the dungeons would be safer…”

“…My kids will brave these stairs. I’ll take the other tower.”

#Rowena snipes that ‘cunning’ means Salazar’s students should be able to handle the moving architecture#Salazar snipes back that ‘cunning’ means knowing when and how to avoid unnecessary bullshit#meanwhile Godric is just yelling PARKOUR! and Rowena is all That’s Not What I Meant#Helga would like her students to make it to class on time and without any broken bones#ninety percent of the reliable secret passages were a team effort by Helga and one of the others#to make sure the house elves could get around all right (via @mzminola)

#i feel like the collaboration was probably hufflepuff and slytherin#in the only time they ever worked together#helga: students and house elves can move safely!#salazar: more places to hide snakes#salazar is like we should make these accessible to people with no legs#helga is like i mean i agree but why are you being so nice about this#salazar is like no reason hey I’m just gonna make some of these rely on snake language for fun#do you think a fifty foot snake would fit in this passage asking for a friend (via @dinosauriaawesome)

i’m literally crying this is 100% what happened

(hey tumblr please don’t delete the previous people’s comments like you did the last time i added someone’s tags to a post mmkay)

(via dyinghistoric)

geekandmisandry:

geekandmisandry:

geekandmisandry:

geekandmisandry:

geekandmisandry:

My husband doesn’t believe me that shaving your legs is difficult and time consuming. So long story short he is about to shave his legs for the first time.

Update: he is part way through one leg and regretting his decision. I got him to switch from his men’s razor to my woman razor (his is for face shaving) and it’s going slightly better.

He is hating shaving his legs. HATING it.

Update:

My husband from the shower: how many notes does your post have?

Me: roughly one for every YEAR you have been in that shower!

Update:

BEFORE:

AFTER:

He says it was ridiculous and he can’t imagine having to do it again in a few days time, it’s much harder than shaving his face (he had previously claimed they would be abut the same). He says he feels he has learned a lesson!

Edit: He also pulled a muscle while shaving his legs! He said it was like exercise. “Yoga in the shower with razors” indeed!

Update: he has been rubbing his legs together in bed for ten minutes.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

Anonymous asked: What the fuck is a dreamworks face

absolita:

sonicthehedgegod:

this face

#okay no but this is so much funnier to me now#because i went to dreamworks and met one of the head animators#and apparently everyone knows about the dreamworks face#and complains about it#but the marketing people keep doing it for some reason

Let’s play a game!

femlourry:

airbornranchdressing:

anakihn:

foxberryblue:

Stand where you are, look around, and list whatever liquidy thing is closest to you. This is now your fanfic lube.

GO THROUGH THE TAGS ON THIS POST OH MY GOD.

i decided to go through the first couple hundred tags (i had to stop bc i was laughing too hard) and here are some highlights

(via thepainofthesass)

addictedtopunsandpizza:

fuuuckinginsane:

foodtrucker:

i don’t want a boyfriend i just want multiple attractive boys to constantly give me attention

Finally

Break an expensive vase

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)