- guys: *brush hands*
- guys: no homo
- girls: *walk around only partially dressed* *share changing rooms* *compliment each other's appearance* *show each other their underwear* *snuggle on the couch* *share a bed* *split a meal* *kiss each other's cheek* *link arms* *share a blanket* *give each other back rubs* *rest heads on each other's shoulders* *give long hugs* *offer sips of coffee* *play with each other's hair* *dance together* *share clothes* *go to the bathroom together*
- girls: nice
WHY YOU SHOULD DROP YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW (NOT LITERALLY BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS EXPENSIVE) AND GO READ GOOD OMENS BY NEIL GAIMAN AND TERRY PRATCHETT
1) Aziraphale and Crowley are the best thing ever. Az is an angel, Crowley is a fallen angel who didn’t so much fall as sauntered vaguely downward. They’ve been relegated to working on Earth by their respective bosses, and once you’ve spent 6000 years with no one else to talk to you kinda become bros. Or boyfriends (I ship them so hard). They get dinner, get drunk, get into trouble, and occasionally get smote together. They also have a list of offenses that the other has committed that they bring up ALL THE TIME and they’re basically fantastic. They try to stop the Antichrist from ending the world and the whole thing is really just them fucking up one thing after another. Crowley doesn’t like to really torture people and has snake eyes and Aziraphale covets his bookstore and refuses to sell the books and wears tartan. They are fabulous, you will love them, I guarantee it.
2) A+ tropes-of-the-eighties smashing, which created some of the modern tropes we know and love. Including Bikers of the Apocalypse (smokin’ hot lady War with a big-ass sword, Famine who writes diet books, Pollution who is only there because Pestilence quit and retired to Africa, and Death who is done with everyone’s shit and baffled by modernity), very confused locals, an eleven-year-old Antichrist with the best of intentions, demons who are incompetent at best, angels who are just sort of dicks supporting the Apocalypse, a witch named Anathema who doesn’t fuck around with magic when she can just use the knife she carries, a book of prophecies by Anathema’s ancestor that is about absurdly minute and incomprehensibly important stuff, and a witch hunting guild that gets absolutely fucking nothing done.
3) The Bentley. The Bentley and an excess of Queen. A classic car and a classic band and if you don’t love it you’re WRONG.
4) A hellhound named Dog.
5) A group of kids called the Them who avert the Apocalypse.
6) The only way to get maximum blooms out of your houseplants is threats.
7) The only acceptable explanation ever of Creationism. I swear to God, you will laugh your ass off. I am a hard-core proponent of evolution and I am telling you right now that this book has the only acceptable version of Creationism.
8) Aziraphale’s collection of misprinted Bibles, including one that tells the REAL story of the Angel of the Eastern Gate of Eden.
9) Neil Motherfucking Gaiman.
10) Terry Goddamn Pratchett.
11) Neil Motherfucking Gaiman and Terry Goddamn Pratchett writing a book about the Apocalypse together and creating some of the best lines in the history of the world (seriously, if someone walked up to me and asked if it hurt when I sauntered vaguely downward from Heaven, they would get a phone number and a date WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM).
12) If you are not laughing like a lunatic by the third page, you are probably a robot masquerading as a human.
OKAY I’VE SAID MY BIT AND IF THIS DOESN’T CONVINCE YOU I DON’T KNOW WHAT WILL. GO READ GOOD OMENS. DO IT NOW AND SPREAD THE GOSPEL WHERE EVER YOU GO.
prettylittledwighthoustonlover:
I wish this was exaggeration, I really do.
IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK
TO JUST BUY A TOP THAT I CAN WEAR
THAT PEOPLE CAN’T SEE MY BRA THROUGH?
True story. Until I get the company shirt, my work uniform is a white polo. So I had to buy a white polo. Not a problem, right? Polos are just heavy jersey. Shouldn’t be an issue, even if it is white.
I went through four stores because every single white lady’s polo was see-through. See-through to the point where an onlooker could pinpoint the exact location of the bleach stain on my bra.
So, in a quiet rage, I finally went to the men’s section. Wonder of wonders, the men’s polos were not see-through.
WHY? WHY IS MY PROFESSIONAL CLOTHING NOT HELD TO THE SAME STANDARDS OF OPAQUE-NESS AS MEN’S PROFESSIONAL CLOTHING?
fafghdfghdfghsdfhdfghdfghdf
I get most of my overshirts/jackets from the men’s section. For one, they have awesome jackets, and two— I have rather large breasts. I do not want something in cutsy glittery girly shit plastered across my chest, thank you. I get enough people that can’t look me in the eye.
my kingdom for a leather jacket with a decent curved waist
Bless this post.
Every fucking time I go out to look for a simple t-shirt, all I find are shirts that are super tight and uncomfortable for the sake of showing off your bust, have stupid sayings on them like “Lean, mean, sexy machine” (I have seriously seen shirts with those exact words), and have tiny fucking sleeves that don’t even cover your armpits (because we all have those days when we really don’t feel like shaving). Unfortunately for me, my mother thinks these shirts are cute and gets them for me constantly. :/
I will always buy my sweaters in the men’s section. Not only are they bigger and more comfortable, they’re actually made with better material. Apparently, you have to be male to merit fabric thick enough to actually keep you warm. Ever wonder why girls complain about being cold more often than guys? It’s not them. It’s their clothes.
Women’s clothing is designed to be rubbish so that they can buy more all the time.
Men’s clothes actually makes SENSE.
I have so many feelings on this topic, I need to stop now before I break something.And don’t forget actual, functioning pockets.
I could probably write a fucking dissertation around the bullshit of women’s clothing and how it’s pretty much useless and overpriced, and even then you can only something that’s an approximation of “a fucking simple t-shirt” where the male equivalent is functional, easily accessible, and a price quote that won’t bankrupt you.
It will have 3 appendixes devoted to, in order, “Stupid cuts for jeans and how they are impossible to figure out store to store, let alone style to style,” “Why do people think all jeans need to adhere to your body like skin tight spandex, for gods sake sometimes I just want to wear pants that I can actually move in,” and “Girls Have Stuff Too: A look at why shallow pockets are a joke and “fake” are the stupidest fashion choice ever made.”
Fake. Fucking. Pockets.
Or tiny pockets. What the fuck do you think I’m going to put in them?! A piece of string?! I need pockets to hold stuff! Not all women carry big ugly purses!
I cannot tell you how much I HATE girl shirts. I’m a little chubby,and I HATE shirts that empsise that. Also I hate V-necks because I pull them down to cover my stomach so all you see are my boobs goodbye
On the topic of girl clothes my friend said “girls have it rough”I nearly kissed him
When I was little I would hold maybe five coins in my pocket and then one in that tiny pointless pocket and my pockets would be full.
I have small waistline but I have to buy my jeans at men’s section because no jeans on women’s section fit my thighs. Apparently the designers of jeans sold in Indonesia forget that not all Indonesian women have thigh gaps.
And let’s not forget that in the women’s section, although the label says size XL, it doesn’t feel larger than size S. Like, seriously?
(via bleedingwillow96)
even shows with great representation like how to get away with murder and orange is the new black refuse to acknowledge bisexuality and it’s fucking infuriating, if a character is shown to have had a past relationship with someone of the same gender or another gender they always have to reinforce and prove their heterosexuality or homosexuality to their new partner as means of a fucking character arc and it makes no sense.
(Source: goths7, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
talk to kids like they’re people and take full interest in what they’re saying because they’re forming their personalities and it’s really vital that they know that their opinions are important and what they have to say deserves validation and respect. so when your three year old niece tells you that dragons don’t like cupcakes because the color blue is a spoon you better nod your head and ask her to explain more about that.
(via bleedingwillow96)
