I want to write an alternative version of Romeo and Juliet where instead of being a little ponce and trying to work things out for himself, Romeo asks his smarter friends what to do about the whole thing and Benvolio and Mercutio come up with the world’s greatest plan:
Marriage of convenience between Juliet and Mercutio.
Think about it.
Juliet’s parents want her to marry into the Prince’s family. Mercutio is a good compromise between no marriage and Paris.
Mercutio probably won’t get his inheritance if he keeps being HELLA FUCKING GAY ALL OVER THE PLACE so a beard is only a benefit to him.
They would probably get along great rolling their eyes at how adorably stupid Romeo is.
Romeo and Benvolio could get a “bachelor pad” right next to Juliet and Mercutio’s house. Every night, Romeo and Mercutio high five as they hop the fence to go bang their one true love.
The second half of the play is just all of them trying to keep up the charade and being “THIS CLOSE” to getting caught all the time. But everything ends nicely because true love conquers all.
Everybody wins. Nobody dies.
i am here for this
I demand movie tickets.
(via adelindschade)
*sees a really hot boy in English class*
me: romeo and juliet act 3 scene 5 line 176
hot damn
make a playwright want to retire man
stop. wait a minute. fill my cup put some poison in it.
Take a sip, fake your death
Juliet! Exit left!
(Source: drugsupplier, via history-jokes)
Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
i do bite my thumb, sir
Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
is the law on our side if i say ay?
No
no, sir, i do not bite my thumb at you sir; but I bite my thumb, sir
Do you quarrel, sir?
quarrel, sir? no sir
if you do, sir, i am for you: i serve as good a man as you
No better
well, sir
DOST THOU WANT TO FUCKING GO, SIR?
(via thepainofthesass)
“you make my heart beat in iambic pentameter.”
no you don’t understand shakespeare literally writes to the beat of your heart
- that’s why shakespearean actors will sometimes pound their chests in time to the words during readings
- that’s why you use fluctuations in the rhythm to track your character’s emotional state - any irregularities in the scansion are like the character’s heart stuttering or jumping or skipping a beat
- that’s why when characters share the rhythm - switching off in the middle of a foot - those characters inevitably have an extraordinarily intimate connection
shakespeare fucking writes viscerally, he is literally in your body, and that, my friend, that is why the best shakespearean actors don’t posture and emote
you have to be fucking alive and passionate and electric - it can’t be intellectual, in the end, it has to be about connection and the sweating, cheering, jeering, bleeding masses you’re performing to, because make no mistake, shakespeare may go to lofty heights, but he only works if you’re just as grounded in the earth. he has to be in your body. he has to be in your body.
holy motherfucking shit i love shakespeare so much, get him in your bones, breathe him in, stomp and rage and pine, dadum dadum dadum dadum dadum, it is literally to the beat of your heart
(Source: shepherdscrown, via yea-lets-do-this-shit)
The best part about shipping Shakespeare characters is that, somewhere out there, there is a published scholar who agrees with you.
What about across plays
Can I ship Oberon with Hamlet
Shylock with Othello
Titania with Violet
Rosalind with Benedick
Romeo and Hamlet ft. Juliet and Ophelia facepalming in the distance
I just realized that Romeo/Hamlet’s ship name is Homeo and I’m behind that 100%
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
