People with good parents get so offended when abused children speak negatively of their parents. Like…REALLY offended lol.
They say things like “Your mom would do anything for you” and “Your parents sacrificed a lot for you!” and “I don’t respect anyone who talks down on their parents.”
But just because YOUR parents would do anything for you and sacrificed a lot for you doesn’t mean it applies to all parents. We don’t have the same experience boo. You can’t tell me shit about what my mama would do for me. All moms and dads are not created equal.
REALLY THIS. And I’ve discovered that…like, it extends past parents. Like, don’t get me wrong, my parents are absolutely as good as it gets, they’re great people and they would support me if I said I wanted to make seashell necklaces for the rest of my life (actually no, I’ve always been ridiculously Type A so they would take me to a hospital if I said that, but the point stands). My extended family? Genuine, bona-fide, abusive train wreck. They spectacularly fucked up my parents, who I can never thank enough for the trouble they’ve taken to protect me as best they can. It’s just…a fact of life in my experience that my grandparents treat me like I’m either worthless because I’m terrible at everything or worthless because I’m a girl. My aunts and uncles and cousins (with VERY few exceptions) have taken the party line my entire life. And that’s behavior that I generally consider benign from them. I get panic attacks when they contact me, and the few people who really push the point about “Oh, but they’re your family, you must love them!” and “But they’re your family, of course they love you” piss me the fuck off. Because it doesn’t always work like that. Sometimes something breaks along the line.
I don’t usually say this, but: you don’t know my life. Similarly, I don’t know yours. You tell me you have issues with your parents? Shit, you tell me that you’re waiting on someone to die so that you can get the fuck out? Cool, bro. I’m still here for you, whatever you need. Treat me well and I’ll back you in anything, because fuck, you know what? I’m waiting on my grandmother to die so that I don’t have to fucking watch my mother worry anymore. I’m waiting on her to die so that I can cry and scream for the kid I should have been. I’m waiting for her to die so that I can go to a funeral in a red dress she would have hated, over combat boots that would have made her furious, wearing red lipstick that would have made me call her a whore. Yeah. Sometimes family is shitty. It doesn’t always pan out nicely and you never get to tell someone what they’re allowed to feel about it.
(Source: tanae-briana, via bonehandledknife)
