I couldn’t give less of a shit about Kylo Ren but good god if it makes General Leia Organa Founder of the Resistance, Last Princess of Alderaan and Hero of the Rebellion happy for once in her life then I will THROW HIS ASH-SNORTING EMO ASS ONTO THE FALCON AND DRAG HIM BACK TO D'QAR MYSELF
wait: anakin only had one gene donor. the only genes he’s carrying, apparently, are his mother’s, and the force bullshitted the rest. so, if you were to try and clone him - wouldn’t you just get clones of shmi?
imagine palpatine trying to clone vader and ending up teenage shmi skywalker, here to fuck you up
That might explain Rey…
That… That’s.. A shockingly good idea. It helps that it fits the casting perfectly.
If this were the case, it would mean that Rey could legitimately say to Luke “I am your father.”
And it’d be true, from a certain point of view. :)
*pulls up pictures of Shmi and Rey*
….
Holy shit, that could totally work
I have never wanted anything as much as I want this to be canon. NEVER.
this is the only ‘Rey comes by her Force sense/badassery from somebody else’ version I can accept.
spookphantom asked: Crack AU where Anakin can all of a sudden hear the background music that we all hear. Those pleasant chats with Palpy become a lot more ominous. Though Anakin admits that the fights have become a lot more epic. Thoughts?
Hahahahaha. Love it!
And okay, my first though was “and the galaxy was saved because even Anakin Skywalker would struggle to keep trusting Palpatine with that music playing in the background”
Anakin think he’s gone COMPLETELY insane (maybe he’s finally been electrocuted too many times and its fried his brain). He doesn’t tell anyone though because he can still fight just fine just… everything is a lot more musical. He doesn’t want to be thought crazy and taken off the front lines.
Once he figures out what the various musical cues mean he actually finds them useful in figuring out how dangerous a situation is. Also battles are so much cooler now and boring landscapes are slightly less boring because at least now they have mood music. Yep, he can live with this.
(Although he is always confused why the ominousness that is The Imperial March starts playing at some of his decisions)
*cracks up*
Anakin: I’m so worried about something. I should probably keep my feelings to myself and attempt to solve my problems by working with Palpatine. He seems like he has my best interests at heart.
Music: DUN DUN DUN, DUN DA-DUN, DUN DA-DUN!
Anakin: [pauses] [looks around] Uh…OK. I mean, I’ll…go talk to Obi-Wan?
Music: [hopeful woodwind instruments]
Anakin: …and be open and honest about my life and what is bothering me, and try to work out a non-violent resolution to my problems?
Music: [Force Theme plays]
Anakin: [smiles] All right! Huh. This is helpful.
Positive reinforcement at its finest. ;D
#lol#i’m just imagining the force throwing its metaphysical hands in the air like ‘subtlety obviously isn’t working with this one so have a whole#symphony of hints young reckless one’ (via @likealeafonthewind)
I’m crying from laughter, this is beautiful.
Anakin: *fucks up*
The Force: Son, please… Guess I’m gonna enable the hints menu.
THE HINTS MENU. *dies*
Maybe Obi-Wan hears the music, too, and then the day is saved.
Obi-Wan: [walking away] Welp, guess it’s off to kill Grievous I’m sure Anakin will be fi –
Music: [Duel of the Fates]
Obi-Wan: OMG not this shit again [runs back down the hall towards Anakin]
Anakin: [running back towards Obi-Wan] Obi-Wan I just heard that Ominous Music again and also I secretly married Padme and she’s pregnant and I haven’t slept in 6 days and I keep thinking she’s going to die and I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT and if you leave I will 100% end up killing everyone and –
Obi-Wan: – oh my God! OK…it’s OK, I heard my own ominous music a second ago when I was getting ready to leave and so I won’t and we’ll fix th –
Anakin: – I heard mine when I thought about maybe talking to the Chancellor instead of y–
Palpatine: [sidling up behind them smugly] Everything all right, gentlemen?
Music: [scary ass music from the opera scene]
Anakin and Obi-Wan: AHHHH
OF COURSE THIS HAPPENED
next round of posters:
Poe Dameron: A Face Even Stomtrooopers Would Defect For
spookphantom asked: Crack AU where Anakin can all of a sudden hear the background music that we all hear. Those pleasant chats with Palpy become a lot more ominous. Though Anakin admits that the fights have become a lot more epic. Thoughts?
Hahahahaha. Love it!
And okay, my first though was “and the galaxy was saved because even Anakin Skywalker would struggle to keep trusting Palpatine with that music playing in the background”
Anakin think he’s gone COMPLETELY insane (maybe he’s finally been electrocuted too many times and its fried his brain). He doesn’t tell anyone though because he can still fight just fine just… everything is a lot more musical. He doesn’t want to be thought crazy and taken off the front lines.
Once he figures out what the various musical cues mean he actually finds them useful in figuring out how dangerous a situation is. Also battles are so much cooler now and boring landscapes are slightly less boring because at least now they have mood music. Yep, he can live with this.
(Although he is always confused why the ominousness that is The Imperial March starts playing at some of his decisions)
*cracks up*
Anakin: I’m so worried about something. I should probably keep my feelings to myself and attempt to solve my problems by working with Palpatine. He seems like he has my best interests at heart.
Music: DUN DUN DUN, DUN DA-DUN, DUN DA-DUN!
Anakin: [pauses] [looks around] Uh…OK. I mean, I’ll…go talk to Obi-Wan?
Music: [hopeful woodwind instruments]
Anakin: …and be open and honest about my life and what is bothering me, and try to work out a non-violent resolution to my problems?
Music: [Force Theme plays]
Anakin: [smiles] All right! Huh. This is helpful.
A Visual Size Comparison of a Star Wars Super Star Destroyer and Manhattan
holy shit
Glad we had this little chat.
I just choked on my own tongue looking at this.
(via skymurdock)
Sorry NOT sorry for a dumb ‘WHAT IF’ scenario entitled “The Entire Battalion Knew, Sir.”
BONUS PANELS UNDER CUT:
(via skymurdock)
a star wars a new hope AU bunny
See, I probably need to get this out here before it’s potentially jossed by the next new episodes.
In the meantime, consider:
Luke Skywalker being a young Daddy to baby Rey by the time A New Hope begins.
Rey’s Mama has not been fridged, btw. By mutual agreement, Luke is raising the kid himself and Mama just visits. Luke still wants to get off Tatooine, but he wants to bring his kid with him because he doesn’t want the little one growing up always and forever wondering about her biological parents, just like he did.
So Luke has Plans, okay? He wants to travel the stars but he wants to embark on this adventure with his little girl.
So imagine Luke’s terror when he comes back home to the homestead and finds Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen dead.
Imagine his relief at finding Rey, quiet and terrified in some secret cubbyhole that the Larses once devised for baby Luke. She was quiet, because Aunt Beru told her to be. And so she was never found by the stormtroopers.
Obi-Wan Kenobi, knowing the possible Disaster Scenarios in leaving Rey Skywalker behind (even if she was to be hidden with her biological mama), encourages Luke to bring his toddler with him.
Han made the obligatory grumbles about having kids on his ship but they’re really just for show and basically Chewie has declared that he’s adopting the Skywalkers, even as he’s happily cuddling the baby girl.
Han cannot protest.
When Rey meets her unknown “Aunt” Leia, she takes to the Princess immediately.
Also, Ben Kenobi does not get killed on the Death Star. He’s got Skywalkers to look after. Again.
Also, Rey would be Very Unhappy with him if she doesn’t have her Grandpa Ben.
Luke Skywalker has an even bigger reason to make that Death Star shot.
When a certain wheezy Dark Lord of the Sith finds out the name of the Rebel pilot who destroyed the Death Star, he’s understandably Pissed Off.
When he finds out that said Death Star Destroyer is a happy Cinnabon Roll Sunbaby with his own precious happy Cinnabon Roll baby girl, welp - this just in: Darth Vader Defects to the Rebel Alliance.
I’d just like to add more happy/hilarifying headcanons to this:
– Basically Darth Vader does a Hunt for Red October style defection and brings himself and the Executor and her loyal-to-Vader crew over to the Rebellion.
– Also Vader has ALL THE HOLOS of Baby Rey in his private chambers.
– “Who’s Grandpa’s cute little future Empress? You are! Yes you are!”
– “Father, she’s TWO YEARS OLD, you can’t hand her the galaxy to rule just yet!”
– “Well, you and Leia would be her Regents.”
– “FATHER!!! BEN, DO SOMETHING!”
– “I’m sorry, I must do as Her Imperial Highness bids me.”
– “Rawwarrrrgaaaaggghhhhhhhh!!”
– “See? Even the Mighty Chewbacca agrees with me. Everyone knows it’s best not to argue with a Wookiee.”
— The Clones would totally dote over “The Little Empress” and there’s always a couple of them as her “honor guard.”
– Luke has cottoned on that this is really Darth Vader’s idea of a Dad Joke™ but he knows he has a role to play and dutifully registers his mock protests.
– What Luke doesn’t know is that Vader is totally planning to hand HIM and Leia the galaxy on a silver platter. This is Anakin Skywalker’s idea of making up for twenty years winning the Galaxy Deadbeat Dad Award™.
– Ben Kenobi knows that the Skywalker twins are actually going to dismantle the Empire once handed the throne but he’s just happy to let Anakin wreak havoc towards more deserving targets.
– Also, he thinks “Little Empress” is totally a cute nickname for Rey.
It got better!
- When Vader first arrives for his scheduled defection, there is some initial tension between him and Obi-Wan, for obvious reasons, but when baby Rey coos and waves at him from Obi-Wan’s hip, he’s like, “Eh, more important things to worry about.”
The Rebels finally realize that Darth Vader was absolutely SINCERE in his defection when they find him helping to change baby diapers and being HAPPY about it.
bless you
Anonymous asked: Ooooh! I'd love to reas that fic when you write it. And the phrase is from a Conrad Aiken poem, jsyk.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, I’m totally going to write it someday. Probably next year when I’m not in school full time. (And also thank you for the source because??? Fuck me, that’s a gorgeous quote.)
