Fanon Captain Phasma: PhasMom, remembers the names of all her stormtroopers, a nice and caring person, friends with Kylo Ren and General Hux, only wants the best for you.
Canon Captain Phasma: Straight up burned down a village in the first 5 minutes of the movie, is jacked, wears armor plated with the melted down hull of the ship belonging to the former emperor/dictator that was totally up for genocide all the time, a person she idolizes
Also canonically she does remember the “names” of the soldiers under her command. Whether this is out of respect or just because she has an awesome memory is up for debate. Personally I see it as both idk.
I did not know the source of her chrome plating. Holy badass, Batman! Was that Palpatine’s ship? How did she get ahold of it? AMAZING backstory holy shit. :D
But what if Anakin isn’t ignoring Kylo Ren? What if that great pull Kylo feels towards the Light is Anakin Skywalker desperately trying to save his grandson from his own fate, the way his wife and son tried to save him?
what if Anakin is literally constantly standing behind Kylo Ren, sputtering with ghostly frustration, going, “No! No! No! Do not do that! Do NOT do that! oh for fuck’s sake.”
This is almost certainly what is actually happening.
“Ben if you skewer my son-in-law with that lightsaber then SO HELP ME”
“Ben Solo your mother is blaming me for this, get your ass home and apologize now or I swear-”
And Yoda and Obi-wan are watching, shaking their heads. “Now you know how we felt,” Obi-wan says.
Yoda agrees: “A bitch, karma is.”
I love this. So many people can just totally see Anakin trying to strangle Ben from the afterlife.
There’s something about the way Finn said “That’s the only name they ever gave me” that breaks my heart. He sounded so resigned, so nonplussed, so matter of fact–as if Poe had asked the time, Finn had given it, and Poe seemed confused, to which Finn just shrugged and replied “that’s what the clock says.” He didn’t sound sad or particularly broken up about it and I realized it’s probably because he didn’t know what was stolen from him.
Of course Finn knew what families were and that some people got to grow up with them. He understood what parents and siblings were. He knew enough of the concept of friendship to want it. But these were all things he’d never had and knew he’d never have. So, Finn pushed them from his mind.
Since birth, Finn was told that he could never change his circumstances. So, what was the point of complaining, he reasoned. Why wallow? His hand had been dealt and so he worked to play his cards to the best of his ability.
Because Finn isn’t self-involved. Finn doesn’t pity himself. Finn is selfless, almost to a fault.
That is why it was never anything the First Order did to him that made Finn decide to leave. It was what the FO did to others: the teammates they told him to leave behind, the innocents they ordered him to kill, the teammates they led to slaughter.
That is why every new experience and person is so precious to Finn. He’s discovering the life he never had–the person he wasn’t allowed to be. And he greets each new discovery, not with an understandable sadness borne of deprivation, but with the wide-eyed enthusiasm of exploration.
A nickname? He’s always wanted one. Tries it on. Finds he likes it.
A pilot. A friend? Gone too soon. Finn clings to the only remaining piece of him.
A scavenger. A look. One he’s never seen before but is immediately determined not to lose.
A reunion. He runs to it. Embraces it.
A righteous battle. Innocents to defend. He dares Death to come get it.
When Finn awakens, he’ll find Rey, friendship, love, family, a future. All the things he thought he’d lost. Finn will embrace each new revelation the way Finn always does: not with the sadness of “this is what I missed,” but with the joy of “look at what I’ve found.”
I write. I swear to God. I actually love writing fanfic. BUT, and here’s the catch, I have a ton of trouble coming up with short fic ideas. Short anything ideas, really. The most memorable example is that one time I decided to write how I thought someone being able to see the future would pan out, just a few pages of character study, dicking around with super powers, nothing fancy. Smash cut to a year and a half later, I’m wrapping up my 350 page novel and staring dismally at my 200 additional pages of worldbuilding. And it’s always like that, it gets so out of hand.
SO. My solution to that is this. If you have a craving for a specific pairing that you know I ship, shoot me a prompt and I’ll throw together a short fic for you and post it. I’m trying to unwind after finals, so it’ll be good for me, and you’ll get fic, so it’ll be good for you.
Hit me up.
This is your reminder that I’m bored and open for prompts.
Actually, this is a comment that they made Steve Rogers HYDRA in the most recent comic and I’m incredibly upset about it, so send me prompts so I have something else to think about.
ok but has anyone considered… stormtrooper memes. stormtroopers with injokes. stormtroopers quietly passing along little nudges and references while they’re standing guard or patrolling endless hallways. hux pausing halfway through a speech, suspiciously— he just heard a very tiny, staticy giggle. like,
(standing in front of blank wall or empty box) nothing to see here, move along
let’s just put that in the back pocket for now mmkay
*eats ration bar* mm mmm tastes like [dead comrade]
you can’t be mean to me on my birthday
*force chokes a problem*
(between heavy darth vader wheezes) i’m not mad, i’m just disappointed.
(when something falls over) rebel scum!
*points at large machine* mom
it’s party time (everyone stands perfectly still for at least a minute)
(when friend come into the room) you’re surplus to requirements
they put a worm in him
*picks up thing that is not a phaser* pew pew
i’m matt the radar technician
millennium falcon as a code for “mother fucker”
Sending troopers new to the unit on an ruffleluff hunt
spreading the rumor that Hoth is secretly the main base because that’s the only place their uniforms make sense as camo
tagging other trooper’s helmets with mysterious substances when they’re not looking
radioing sanitation to ‘come take out this trash’ when dragging another trooper
there’s coffee and doughnuts in the breakroom
*does something dangerous* eat me ass first
healthy habits start at home
well, as we all know, [lie]
*gives someone a pinecone* (very difficult to pull off)
i can’t go out dressed like THIS!
my morale is so [genital adjective] right now.
does anyone need to stormpooper before we go
fun is illegal
*puts foot in small box* i live here now
doubletime sleeping
*points at captain phasma* mom
*humming Vader’s theme tune when someone’s in trouble*
Jedi are a myth
Kylo Ren is a myth
*explaining damage* It got KRed. (Kylo Renned)
KRUBAR Kylo Renned Beyond All Recall/Recognition/Repair
Calling helmets faces (a relic from the clone days)
Backtalking superior officers “begging to be spaced”
Kylo Ren is having a moment as an acceptable excuse for deviating a patrol route
General Hux is in a good mood as an acceptable excuse for deviating a patrol route
And Captain Phasma is smiling at us under that helmet (synonymous with “bullshit”)
Finn accidentally slipping into stormtrooper memes while with the Resistance and getting some odd looks.
Finn trying to explain to them why their Force-using manchild deadly enemy destroying property in a rage is funny and getting some more odd looks.
Finn feeling a little knot in his gut when he realizes he’s never going to be able to tell these jokes again. How’s he even going to connect to these people enough to make them laugh when they’re all scared shitless? How’s he going to carry his entire squad around in his head when he can’t even speak their language anymore?
Meanwhile Rey’s standing there squinting suspiciously at a pinecone.
Okay but Rebels who see Finn being upset and making a concerted effort to figure out meme culture. Rey and Jessika talking it out while Jessika is teaching Rey the cultural miscellany of Resistance and pilot culture.
Rey being the first one to get it, because she synergizes what Jessika’s telling her and what Finn’s explaining and realizes, this is all communication around communication, the key point is shared understanding, and then she starts making her own, with Jessika, and Finn picks it up, and soon the whole base is in on this bastardized mix of stormtrooper meme and purely Resistance meme and a ridiculous combination of the two.
And then they interact with stormtroopers and something goes on in the background on the First Order side and a Resistance soldier asks, “Is Kylo Ren having a moment?” and there’s muffled laughter and an absence of blasterfire from the stormtroopers.
Pretty soon there’s a whole code that stormtroopers and resistance soldiers can use to communicate. “Nothing to see here, move along” means “I’m ignoring you on purpose, don’t shoot me,” and “I’m KR’d” means “I want out, please capture me.”
From the Rebel side, “Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi” becomes “throw me a bone here” in either direction to ask for a favor; “That’s no moon” means “you’re walking into a trap here/we’ve got a secret weapon you won’t like.”
Okay, I was expecting someone to pick this up, but damn, this is even better than I hoped.
Anonymous asked: Not gonna lie, REALLY into the one where Vader survives Mustafar and Padme does what needs to be done to save her children ('Kill him for me, then' wow that is SO MUCH MY JAM) and honestly even if you never write another word for that 'verse, thank you so fucking much for that, that is EVERYTHING I am here for.
yeah no I was literally already going “wow I hope someone sends me an ask about that AU where Obi-Wan’s life sucks even worse than usual so I have an excuse to talk about Padmé/Vader as a ship, I REALLY DO”, trust me, buddy, you tied your wagon to the right star here, you REALLY did.
Because Vader went and killed Palpatine for Padmé, right? SPECIFICALLY for her. Like, he OFFERED, originally, but when he actually goes and DOES it, it’s because she tells him to do it and he is immediately like “anything for you, angel!!” and then not only does it, but does it and DECLARES HER EMPRESS.
You know. The person who all the clones answer to. The person HE answers to. THAT empress.
There are only ever two Sith, okay, and because there are only ever two Sith there have to ALWAYS be two Sith. Vader killed the apprentice, so he became the apprentice, and then Vader killed the master, so therefore he should be the Master, and should be attempting to pluck Ahsoka off some backwater planet all “I HAVE SO MUCH TO TEACH YOU, APPRENTICE”.
Except instead he goes back to where he left Padmé and is like “??!? WHERE IS” and then proceeds to chase her down, and the moment she finds out he’s the survivor she puts on a smile and opens her arms to him and reels him RIGHT in.
Sith apprentices kill Sith masters to BECOME Sith masters, but Anakin did not actually care about being a Sith master–he wanted to be a JEDI master, yeah, but Jedi masters are one of many and still answer to the Order, and it’s a very different thing. And really, what Anakin ACTUALLY wanted was always just Padmé and Luke and Leia (and Obi-Wan, of course Obi-Wan, but–well, three for four is better than canon got him, so yeah). So Vader killed Anakin and got (nearly) everything Anakin wanted, and Vader killed Palpatine and got everything HE wanted, and he is therefore ENTIRELY CONTENT with what he has and would quite happily go along with anyone who’d let him keep it.
And he killed Palpatine in Padmé’s name. In EmpressAmidala’s name.
So yeah. Vader is definitely not the master in this scenario.
I think the most plausible The Force Awakens headcanon I’ve ever run into is that the galactic media started holding Ben up as the face of the nascent New Jedi Order from a very young age, and everything that’s happened since then is basically the equivalent of a former child star meltdown.
Just, you know, instead of getting drunk and trashing his hotel room, he shivs his dad and blows up the sun, because Skywalkers never do anything small.
