mooglemisbehaving:

swearydroid:

Okay, so we all know that Poe went around the Resistance base telling everyone about the Handsome Stormtrooper that saved his life – but what about BB-8? Imagine BB-8 coming back to base and promptly telling everyone about the good brave human who saved his Poe. This is Finn he is so lovely, he is the best of all humans, look at him, be nice to him – he’s a little bit slow – doesn’t understand droid at all but he’s a quick learner

And imagine ALL THE DROIDS falling into line, looking after Finn, and Finn is just so nice to them because he remembers what it’s like to be treated like you’re nothing, like you don’t have a personality. And they just adopt him: Finn the best human, they designate him, and R2-D2 – battle-hardened war vet that he is –  teaches him binary but teaches him the bastardised sweary binary that all the older droids speak and BB-8 is innocent and oblivious and C3-PO is scandalised because Finn is going round saying things like fuck me this is hot in this little whistle-beep. 

And whenever Finn sits down he’s surrounded by happy young droids who absolutely adore him, and he is just so nice and all the droids go out of their way to do things for him. 

And yes. Give me sweet lovely Finn with his droid ducklings. 

And when the base is attacked, it’s the droids who turn the base into a deathtrap for the invaders - doors that trap or crush, sanitation systems that break explosively, power that reroutes itself on the fly to keep one squad in the dark while on the other side of the base another entire squad is electrocuted courtesy of a misfiring sprinkler system - and at the helm coordinating everything is Finn, knee-deep in young droids chanting reports from every part of the base in between best human, best human, BEST HUMAN.

(Source: peradii, via keeperofthehens)

daisyridleyupdated:

Happy Star Wars Day!

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

dimir-charmer:

roachpatrol:

ok but has anyone considered… stormtrooper memes. stormtroopers with injokes. stormtroopers quietly passing along little nudges and references while they’re standing guard or patrolling endless hallways. hux pausing halfway through a speech, suspiciously— he just heard a very tiny, staticy giggle. like,

  • (standing in front of blank wall or empty box) nothing to see here, move along
  • let’s just put that in the back pocket for now mmkay
  • *eats ration bar* mm mmm tastes like [dead comrade]
  • you can’t be mean to me on my birthday
  • *force chokes a problem*
  • (between heavy darth vader wheezes) i’m not mad, i’m just disappointed. 
  • (when something falls over) rebel scum!
  • *points at large machine* mom
  • it’s party time (everyone stands perfectly still for at least a minute)
  • (when friend come into the room) you’re surplus to requirements
  • they put a worm in him
  • *picks up thing that is not a phaser* pew pew
  • i’m matt the radar technician

@swearydroid

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

suzukiblu:

systlin:

systlin:

beautifultoastdream:

karama9:

suzume42:

grand-duc:

ialreadyreadthatfanfic:

angelqueen04:

luckyjak:

sskyguy:

                   the tragedy of anakin skywalker (x)

#no but really#why wasn’t anakin a crechemaster#why did they let him major in stabbing?#star wars#queue (tags @cadesama)

OH GOD NO BUT THAT WOULD BE PERFECT. how did the jedi not think of that?

what is anakin’s biggest weakness? attachments.

you know who needs lots of attachment? babies. small children.

anakin should not have been made to study murder: he should have been put in charge of Small Things. He would have bonded with all of them instantly, and it would have given his life Meaning and Purpose.

He’d bond with the kids, but he’d be able to move on because they are Bigger now and they have to go to the Big Kid Class but he still sees them around all the time, and it finally teaches him how to let go of his attachments??? He’d find a kid that he’s particularly fond of and go to Obi-Wan and say “I have found your newest padawan.”

this could have fixed so. many. things. ;_____;

Heh, and Anakin would keep picking Obi-Wan’s padawans for him, and it would be annoying but damn if he wasn’t right every single time.

BUT CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE HOW ANNOYED PALPATINE WOULD BE his life would be never-ending string of trying to get a hold of Anakin (I mean, would Anakin give him a time of day if he can spend it with small kids who absolutely adore him instead?)

he keeps comming over the years, but it’s always like

BEEP

“Anakin, my boy, we haven’t seen each other in a while—“

“I’m sorry, Chancellor, now’s not the best time. I’m tutoring a class.”

BEEP

“My dear boy, I wonder if we could meet for a chat—“

“Well, it can’t be this week, we’re going to Ilum, but maybe later…”

BEEP

“Anakin, I’d like to—“

“I’m terribly sorry, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan Kenobi answers. The apologetic tone might be just a tad exaggerated. “Anakin is on a trip with younglings, he must’ve left his comlink behind accidentally.”

BEEP

“You’ve reached Anakin Skywalker’s private comlink. Leave the message after the tone.”

BEEP

“It’s such a shame that Council doesn’t consider sending you on this campaign, considering the lightsaber skills you demonstrated when I was last visiting the Temple, Anakin.”

“Thank you, Chancellor, but this is precisely why I need to stay behind. In fact just the last week, the Masters decided I should take over some advanced lightsaber classes, considering senior Padawans accompanying their Masters on the frontlines need the training. I might take the Bear Clan along, make it a learning opportunity for the young ones—“

Palpatine closes his eyes slowly. He knows this from experience; Anakin won’t let himself be budged from the topic of little monsters for at least another half an hour.

BEEP

“Ah, Chancellor Palpatine. Anakin left his comlink behind again, he’s in class—“

BEEP

“Anakin, I hoped you—“

“Oh! Chancellor,” the voice on the other end is distinctly female, and Palpatine recognizes it after a second. Kenobi’s second Padawan. He barely restrains the urge to gnash his teeth. “Um, Skyg—I mean, Master Skywalker can’t pick up now. I can tell him you called? It’s just that he was helping me with forms, and he forgot his comlink, and he’s probably already in crèche…”

BEEP

Then there’s that one time when an actual youngling picks up the call. The less said about his reaction to that incident, the better.

BEEP

“—fortunately, they were all right in the end. But in my opinion, this should never happened in the first place, Chancellor.”

Palpatine snaps awake. Was that… was that anger? Finally, the hours of listening to worthless drivel about Jedi younglings paid off.

“My boy, I absolutely agree,” he begins slyly, but before he can continue, Anakin steamrolls on.

“I think Jedi Order is too deeply entwined in the conflict! I honestly don’t think even senior Padawans should be anywhere near battles, not to mention in command of GAR, but now even younglings are acceptable targets for Separatists and pirates! Master Yoda and I were talking about this lately, and—“

Palpatine swallows a scream of rage with some difficulty.

BEEP

“Forgot his comlink again, Master Skywalker has. With younglings, he is.”

Slaughtering younglings moved to the top on the list of things Darth Sidious will do after taking over galaxy some time ago.

this post keeps getting better and better

More please! Tagging @systlin, @beautifultoastdream and @karama9

That is what the Council would have done if they were smart. Seriously. Here’s Yoda saying Anakin should not be taught because he senses too much fear in him, and it’s fear for the people he cares about, something everyone present realizes fully because when it comes to his own safety, Anakin couldn’t be more reckless.

Then Qui Gon announces he’s training him anyway, someone points out he might fulfill the prophecy and bring balance to the Force, and nobody, NOBODY, thinks that MAYBE giving him a job that’s more about caring than killing might be an idea. Nope. Okay, we’re training him, let’s foster the loose canon aspect of his personalities, make him a war general and keep pushing him into vicious battles to the death. Sounds perfect for his mental health.

The Jedi Council were a bunch of idiots with their head so far up their own asses even a lightsaber shoved up there to the hilt would not provide them enough light to see further than their own noses.

I think I got lost somewhere in this metaphor. You get the point.

After ten years, Palpatine loses his patience and decides to change his plans. Fuck it, Skywalker has kids now–two adorable little moppets who can be captured, broken, and twisted into twin powerhouses of the Dark Side. Torture one while the other watches, convince them Daddy doesn’t love them, easy-peasy.

Unfortunately, he fails to reckon with the fact that not only is he going up against Anakin Fucking Skywalker, but that Anakin Fucking Skywalker is the surrogate father/big brother/best friend/cool teacher of ninety percent of the current Padawans and young Knights in the Order. And while the Council might make decisions and talk about the Will of the Force and stuff, those Padawans and Knights only care about the fact that the man who scared away the monsters under the bed–made it feel less lonely and frightening to be away from home when they were small–is now hurting and scared for his own children.

Just like Palpatine always wanted, Anakin ends up leading an army. An army of young Jedi who smash the ever-loving shit out of everything “Darth Sidious” can throw at them, rescue the terrified Skywalker twins, and drag the Chancellor hisownself before the Senate with conclusive proof that he’s an evil Dark-Side-wielding bastard who kidnaps adorable kids.

Attachments FTW.

God, YES

Luke and Leia would have grown up with 500 brothers and sisters of assorted species.  Whenever you see Anakin there are 10 kids with him, occasionally actively hanging off of his arms or riding on his shoulders. (Anakin looks downright gleeful about this). Padme thinks it’s the most adorable thing ever.  

20 years later by the time “A New Hope” would have begun, Anakin is 45. Padme is the new Chancellor. Luke and Leia are finishing their own Jedi training. 90% of the current young Jedi order calls Anakin ‘Dad’. He has amassed the galaxy’s largest collection of refrigerator art. After that incident with Chancellor Palpatine 15 years back, Yoda was forced to admit to Qui Gon’s very smug force-ghost that he was right. Everything is right with the galaxy. 

I LOVE NO FIX-IT META AS MUCH AS I LOVE THIS FIX-IT META 

  • me: *rewatches the force awakens*
  • me: wow finn and poe are so cute
  • me: and rey and finn!! wow adorable
  • me: all of them together!! the best and the cutest
  • me: they're the dream honestly i mean we're one movie in and they haven't even officially met all together yet and already i can't deal i mean they're so cuuute i can't
  • me: the best
  • me: wow
  • also me: *wakes up at 3am in a cold sweat* oh my god what if they're somehow all related

cumaeansibyl:

cumaeansibyl:

C-3PO to Han Solo in Empire: Sir, I don’t know where your ship learned to communicate, but it has the most peculiar dialect.

this isn’t gone into at all but I like the idea that the Falcon, bashed together from illegal aftermarket parts, familiar with all corners of the galaxy but with no real home, speaks her own patois that works reasonably well everywhere rather than learning several formal machine languages (I imagine there are relatively few of those compared to the range of lifeforms’ languages, but still)

3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, so he’s surely familiar with various pidgins, creoles, and so on, but if the Falcon’s sort of created one for herself then obviously translating it will be a more involved job

protocol droids probably have algorithms for parsing pidgins and creoles by identifying the parent languages and predicting how the language will behave based on the parents’ vocabulary/grammar and the general processes of creole formation

I like the idea of the Falcon getting impatient with 3PO because he keeps asking her to repeat herself and she’s like who the hell are you and why can’t you understand plain talk when you hear it

revisiting this thought: imagine Rey, who has met about a thousand different droids and computers and learned to speak whatever language they speak

she starts talking to the Falcon’s computer because something is broken, again, and it takes her all of five minutes to pick up the peculiar dialect because it’s similar to one common among smugglers’ ships she’s repaired, though it has a few idiosyncracies that are new to her (in part because it’s honestly just older than most things she’s run into)

soon enough instead of plugging in a droid to find out what’s wrong she’s just yelling at the Falcon from upside down in a compartment full of sparks and the Falcon is insulting her repair skills and insinuating some really unpleasant things about her parentage and Rey’s like JUST TELL ME WHERE THE SHORT IS ALREADY YOU CAN TRASH-TALK ME WHEN YOUR CIRCUITRY’S NOT SETTING ME ON FIRE

(via wildehack)

Your Stormtrooper Identification Code

lightsaber-dildo:

1) The first non-vowel letter of your last name
2) The last non-vowel letter of your last name
3) Your age
4) The number of siblings you have
5) The number of pets you have

Tag yourself I’m FL-1701

(Source: spock-paper-scissors, via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

theorangedead:

Look! It’s a post for all of my stormpilot (and one Finn) edits! Because yes. I also have Big Post 1 and Big Post 2 (major spoilers for those links). (Those posts have finnrey edits on them because jedistormpilot.) Unfortunately photoshop has stopped working so it may be awhile before I make more of these.

Update: Made more and added some of the new ones to this post.

Original a softer world comics: (insp 1) (insp 2) (insp 3) (insp 4)

(via suzukiblu)

primarybufferpanel:

brydeswhale:

spoonmeb:

kalinara:

culturevulture73:

bbgirlravenclaw:

Finn aka Big Deal

I loved Han calling him Big Deal…

The Han - Finn relationship in the Force Awakens is so underrated in my opinion.

I mean, from the beginning Han knows this kid is lying.  He may not know about the ex-Stormtrooper thing, but he knows he’s not Resistance.

And Han just doesn’t care.  He finds him amusing, he looks out for the kid, he never judges him for wanting to flee from the First Order.  Then there’s all of their interaction on the Starkiller planet.  It’s just so fun to watch.

People love saying that Han instadopted Rey, but he picked up two kids that day. 

Tbh, Han was probably just relieved when Finn had some sense, UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE HE EVER MET.

#but seriously - the fact that Han sized him up in 0.5 seconds and tagged him#‘genuinely good not a concern can probably help in a jam ignore anything he actually says cause he’s running scared and kind of adorable#is one of my favorite ‘scoundrel’ abilities :) (@redshoesnblueskies)

(Source: katedniels)

this is how little orphans bring back other little orphans

swearydroid:

inspired by @suzukiblu‘s lovely head canon about the trio getting babies 

  • It starts with Finn. They’re on a mission, finn and poe going to an abandoned first order barracks to hunt down some information and the retreating first order left behind this baby, this tiny soft little girl, and she’s crying out of hunger and cold and fear and finn acts on instinct and bundles her under his shirt
  • finn has never actually seen a baby because troopers are kept isolated from baby troopers, kept in age appropriate barracks, and he is absolutely hypnotised by how tiny and fragile it is. it is so soft. look at its little soft softness
  • can we keep it? can we keep it poe, please, look how beautiful and tiny she is she’s never going to be a trooper, never ever ever.
  • they keep it. what do you call it? you name babies after things you love right–
    • Rey takes one look at the little thing and says. “We’re going to call her Luke.”
  • That’s the first. After that, Finn comes back from a mission holding the hands of two little boys, twins. Both are wearing mini versions of Stormtrooper armour. “Say hello to Millennium and Falcon.”
  • After that Rey comes back with no fewer than five Force-sensitive kids who had almost become troopers. “They’re not going to the Academy,” she says, “because we’re not going to start when they’re little, not anymore. Kids get to be kids.”
  • They make the mistake of letting these kids name themselves (after things you love, Finn suggests, after people you admire) . Thus, the Resistance ends up with: Finn I, Finn II, Finn III, Dameron’s X Wing, and ReytheJedi. 

(Source: peradii, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)