Anonymous asked: Through plot device of your choice, Kylo Ren has a child. Given the history of relations between the generations in his family, he decides infanticide is a great option. Unfortunately for Kylo, this goes about as well as infanticide usually goes in stories. So, if you'd like, tell us this kid's story!

wildehack:

….anon, I love me some dark shit. you know that, I know that. however, the first thing that my brain offered up upon hearing this beautifully fucked up scenario you presented me with was this: 

The mission went south with Finn still inside the temple and a bomb about to detonate. “We’ve got six minutes before this whole island is space dust,” Poe yells down the comms, powering the ship back on, sensors be damned. “Get back here.” 

“Shit!” Finn yelps into his ear, followed by the sound of blaster fire. “I’ve got the plans, but–shit!” 

“Finn?” Poe demands. “Finn!” 

“Poe,” Finn’s voice says, a little dazed. “You’ve got to come to me.” 

There are five big guns and two walls between Poe and Finn, and five minutes to get away from the impact zone. “I’m on my way,” Poe says grimly.

Four absolutely insane minutes later Finn runs up the gangplank, curled defensively around something in his arms, and Poe guns them straight up, miles into the sky, the island exploding into light and heat beneath them. Poe lets out a whoop of exhilaration and sails them directly into hyperspace, laughing with relief. 

He stops laughing when he hears the baby crying. 

He turns around, and there is Finn, looking vaguely stunned, holding a baby. 

“That’s a baby,” Poe manages, his mind utterly blank. 

“They were gonna kill her,” Finn says in a soft voice, adjusting her carefully in his arms. “They left her on the altar, like some kind of–they were just going to leave her, Poe. I couldn’t leave her.” 

“No,” Poe says faintly. “Of course not.” 

There are three days between them and base. The baby is Human, blue-eyed, black-haired, toothless, and horrifically prone to wailing, which makes Poe want to weep with sympathy. 

“I don’t get how you’re so bad at this,” Finn comments, rescuing Poe from a shaky attempt at bottle-feeding, one day into it. “It’s like you’ve never seen a baby before.” 

“Only child,” Poe explains, wiping spit-up off his shoulder with a wince. “All my cousins are older. How are you so good at this?” 

Finn smiles. “We all had creche duty, before final conditioning. I was the best at it,” he says, a little pride creeping into his voice. 

“Clearly you have a gift,” Poe comments, because the baby is dozing against Finn’s shoulder now. 

“We can’t just keep calling her baby,” Finn says, ignoring that. “You should name her.” 

Poe laughs, a little unsteady. “I don’t know if I’m up for the honor.” 

“You named me,” Finn says reasonably. 

“I had something to go on, that time,” Poe says. “Besides. She might already have a name. Maybe they’ll be able to find her parents, or her home planet, back at base.” 

Finn seems to take that seriously, giving the baby a searching look. About three months old, head full of curly hair, abandoned in the ruins of a Sith temple by the First Order. Not much to go on. “Who are you, little girl,” Finn says softly, and Poe rubs a hand over his mouth to distract himself from the abrupt ache in his chest. 

“Let’s call her niña for now,” Poe suggests. “That’s ‘little girl’, on Yavin 4.” 
 
Finn smiles at him, and the ache intensifies. “Niña,” he tries. “I like that.” 

It takes six hours for “niña” to become “Nina”, and apparently that’s what’s sticking. 



The General comes running as soon as they land, blaster on her hip, her eyes wild. “Where is he,” she rasps, looking past Poe to Finn. 

“Sir?” Poe says, and she shakes her head abruptly. 

“I thought I felt–” she breaks off with an indrawn breath, her eyes falling on Nina. 

“Lieutenant Dameron rescued her, sir,” Poe says, his hand falling automatically on Finn’s shoulder to offer support. “I’ve got the full details in my report.” 

The General swallows. Twice. Her eyes are full of tears, and Finn’s shoulder tenses under Poe’s hand. “You’d better take her to the medic tent,” she says in a hoarse voice, and then nods once. “Thank you, Lieutenant. Commander. You’ll report to me directly, once she’s safe.” 

WOW FUCK YOU TOO.

further thoughts on names

wildehack:

Ben Organa, not Ben Solo. Because Leia’s the last Organa, you see, and Han’s got something like twenty first cousins alone, and she and Luke are more or less quietly agreed that he should be the last Skywalker. (It’s “Ben” because it’s the only serious suggestion Luke made during the infamous What To Name The Baby argument that took place the week after Ben was born, and Luke’s opinion was the only compromise Han and Leia could make between “Jacen” and “Val”, and Luke was mostly incredulous that they were just calling him “baby” for so long.) 

Finn Dameron, as the entire rest of tumblr has produced some very compelling arguments in favor of. 

Rey goes through a cycle of surnames, but the one she settles on is Kenobi. Because once she finds out who her parents were, she wants desperately to take their name–to feel a connection to her past, even though every trace of it is gone. (At first she accepted Finn’s invitation to join her as an unofficial Dameron, and later she called herself Rey Skywalker just as an easy shorthand, since nobody knew what “Padawan” meant anyway, and Chewie told her very somberly that she had a right to “Rey Solo” if she wanted it, as well as Chewie’s own last name, which she couldn’t actually pronounce. Life debt stuff.  But she keeps Kenobi.) 




 

(via ifeelbetterer)

It is literally the MOST HILARIOUS to me that all the marketing execs for The Force Awakens were like “KYLO, GUYS, KYLO WILL BE THE BIG HIT, EVERYONE PUMP OUT KYLO REN TOYS BECAUSE THEY WILL BE FLYING OFF THE SHELVES.  NO ONE WILL WANT REY TOYS, DON’T MAKE ANYTHING.”  And now it’s a few weeks into the release and it’s like….no, we don’t want the Emo Tantrum Child, let’s have us some Rey action figures, after all she’s the HERO OF THE MOVIE, and everyone is basically losing their shit about it.

I have this mental image of just piles and piles of boxed Kylo Ren toys being dumped on the execs’ desks while these poor oblivious bastards are slowly buried, weeping, in the unsold Emo Tantrum Child.

I’m probably going to hell for laughing so hard at this.

swimthroughthefires:

swimthroughthefires:

genuinewarmdecentfeeling:

Consider this: Finn stealing a fry off of Rey’s plate because he heard that’s a cute thing couples do and he wants to balance out their “I’LL SAVE YOU!” emotional intensity with some cute things, only Rey freezes and Finn’s like, shit, I just stole food from someone who grew up without it, what Attack Mode did I just activate. But then she just fucking dumps all of her food on his plate all “I’LL FEED YOU, YOU’LL NEVER GO HUNGRY WITH ME” and they’re right back in the emotional intensity, and Finn doesn’t even like fries that much.

#omg if they ever go on holiday rey would 100% aggressively catch wildlife for them to eat and he’s like#can we get takeout#im pretty sure this planet has takeout rey#star wars#the force awakens#rey x finn

#star wars#tfa#I AM NOW EXTREMELY INVESTED IN REY THE AGGRESSIVE HUNTER-GATHERER-PROVIDER#whether it’s a ship or just friends because REY AGGRESSIVELY BRINGING HOME THE BACON#rey eyeballing poe and finn’s plates and telling them to finish their veggies#rey getting nervous about accepting food from poe and finn because that’s THEIR FOOD and they should eat it#rey and poe and fin camping out waiting for exfil on a forest planet and a herd of cute animals storms by#finn and poe are admiring them until rey comes back with one slung over her shoulder#and she butchers it right there in front of them and then cooks it lovingly#and offers them the best pieces with this PROUD LOOK ON HER FACE#because offering your friend food is one of the greatest gestures you could make on jakku#also i am 1000000000% here for rey and finn being ridiculously overprotective with poe#as i have tagged many times before takiki16

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

surfacage:

did that answer your question anon…

Well, that was…concise.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

luchia13:

okay so all pilots have to have some kinda astromech in their x-wings but poe gets frustrated because they actually slow him down with all their calculations but it’s a REQUIREMENT so he keeps trying astromech after astromech and none of them work so then he goes to whatever you call a droid store and sits down all dejected, and after a while little BB-8 rolls over to him all beeping in concern and is like “i’m not an official astromech but i AM a droid so maybe i can help!!!” and so Poe pops sweet little BB-8 into the x-wing and it all goes wonderfully from then on because it’s Poe flying around with BB-8 basically putting good job!!! or wheeeeeeeee!!! on the screen every now and then

(via dubiousculturalartifact)

jananyman:
“ sarah531:
“ #padme amidala descends from the heavens in a burst of democratic glory#and goes on a ten hour rant about how angry and disappointed she is that this is the sECOND TIME THIS FAMILY#HAS DESTROYED INTERGALACTIC DEMOCRACY#and...

bonehandledknife:

actualpirateking:

i saw tfa yesterday and can i just talk about one bit that stuck out to me but that i haven’t seen anyone else discussing yet?

the just. straightforward resolution of finn’s lie 

like, normally when a main character lies to another main character in media? it always goes the same way? circumstances contrive to out the lie beyond the liar’s control, and the person who was lied to is angry about it and it drives conflict between the two characters and so on. it’s so damn pervasive that i was consciously sitting there in the theatre waiting for something to reveal that finn lied about being with the resistance and for rey to be angry with him for lying and for them to have a conflict that would eventually be resolved with the same damn exchange of “im sorry i lied to you but i did it with good intentions” that happens in every. freaking. movie.

And? just anticipating it exhausted me tbh. because it always happens that way. and its annoying. for me, personally, watching two protagonists hurt each other and be angry at each other like that is stressful. i get a literal physical feeling of anxiety about it. and you already KNOW how they’re going to resolve it so you’re just sitting there waiting for them to just talk it out already the script has literally been written for you in a hundred other movies.

so there i was stressing myself out trying to guess how long until they went down that road when

finn just? straight up outed his own lie? and she wasnt angry with him for withholding the truth? and it wasnt a source of conflict between them? in fact there wasnt much conflict or strife between finn and rey at all?? 

and i was like actually so relieved. maybe im too empathetic but as i said strife between protagonists stresses me out a lot but this. this was so good. my soul needed this. 

Because they’re both goddamn survivors and Rey understands surviving and Finn was honest insomuch as he can and bleeds sincerity through his pores.

AND YES I AM SO GLAD THEY DIDN’T GO THERE.

ekreider:

I’m so in love with the badass, highly trained Rey, who still scavenges. But instead of scrap metal and parts it’s beautiful, colorful things that are red and orange and green because she never saw those on Jakkuu.
So, sometimes this highly trained Jedi who takes down villains left and right comes up to Poe or Finn and is like ‘look what I got u’ and puts something in their hands and they’re like ‘Rey, it’s a rock’ and she smiles at them and just says ‘yes but it’s a pretty rock. It matches ur jacket.’ and just walks away.
I live for that Rey

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)