Anakin, either in complete candeur or because he wanted to make somebody squirm

punsbulletsandpointythings:

theforceisstronginthegirl:

punsbulletsandpointythings:

lectorel:

grand-duc:

lectorel:

grand-duc:

“Oh wow. This costs more than I did back when I had a price tag.”

OH MY GOD.


FILED UNDER: Anakin Skywalker i don’t know which version is worse: the one where he’s talking about a space ship or the one where it’s a fancy set of tupperware star wars is suffering

I had thought this would fit particularly well in your de-aged slave children AU. Because this Anakin, whose identity as a slave is known by everyone as far as he’s aware, doesn’t have his older self’s reticence to divulge his past.

 Picture this:

Baby Anakin becoming enthralled by a particular piece of tech. A very shiny, cutting edge piece of tech. The kind of which he only dreamed he could get his little desert rat fingers on before. And of course since this is an army on the move the piece of tech is a weapon system. 

And the adults clones are like, maybe we should not let the little 3.5 years old, mechanical genius or no mechanical genius, play with things that are lethal.

So one of them picks him up, sets him down at a safe distance, and tells him he shouldn’t touch it.

“Do you know why?”

“yes, sir. It costs more than I do.” 

Have I mentioned I love your brain? Because I do. Baby Anakin would totally say that, voice pitched in that sing-song tone of a child repeating something he’s been told a thousand times before. “And if it breaks, I’m the one getting sold to replace it,” Anakin says, finishing the threat more familiar than the sound of his own name.

OKAY BUT IMAGINE THE REACTIONS

Rex just kind of stares at him for a really long moment, trying to process what the tiny, child version of his general just said.

In fact, all the clones in earshot are staring.

And finally, all Rex can get out is, “I-I…no. No, it’s dangerous, and we don’t want you to get hurt.” Which sounds lame, even to his own ears but what in the hells does he say to that???

yeah but later could u imagine the clones comparing notes since they cost money too.

“the general was a slave”

“yeah he said he’d cost less then –”

“so about how many of us would he have cost then?”

WOW THAT IS RUDE AND PAINFUL

(via madly9)

fairkid-forever:

aroczerny:

my favorite part of rogue one was when admiral raddus told them to ram the blade ship

I KNOW it was glorius

(Source: xerxesians)

softjoly:

riyo-chuchi:

i still maintain that anakin was great with younglings (and we have canon proof that he was a good teacher)

but anakin as a role model is a completely different matter. like the council probably had to put a stop to weekly lessons with master skywalker after one stormy afternoon at the temple

youngling, timidly raising her hand: master anakin, what happens if your lightsaber gets hit by lightning?

anakin: great question! come on, kids, let’s grab our rain ponchos and find out!

in other words, anakin is a more chaotic, less education-oriented ms frizzle

Among my many headcanons is the fact that while Anakin is great with kids, and a good and willing instructor in many areas, there is still an absolute ban on him going anywhere near the speeder bay with anyone below the rank of Jedi Knight.

“Master, I heard you’re the best pilot in the galaxy. Is that true?”
“I won a Podrace when I was nine and I once made my Master vomit over the side of a speeder.”

Also, he once taught a group of Padawans how to reprogram a bunch of Temple droids. Hilarity ensued–for the Padawans, that is. The Council…wasn’t so pleased.

(via skymurdock)

#rogue one#star wars#my creative writing class thinks this is a bad ending#because everybody dies#and they remind me that at the beginning of the class I told them cliche endings like ‘it was all a dream’ and 'everybody dies’ were bad#THIS IS THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE I try to tell them#maybe one day they’ll learn#anyway#perfect ending is perfect

Hold my beer while I try (and probably fail) to articulate this.

This movie is somewhat unique in my experience because the death of all the main characters seems like the good and necessary end to the plot, and I think part of the reason this is true is because, basically, they don’t die for shock value or because Anyone Can Die, they die because this is a war and they are people who exist solely in the context of the war.  I love AU’s where Bodhi meets Finn and Chirrut explains the Force to Luke as much as the next person, but within the context of the characters that we are given, in order to complete their personal arcs to satisfaction, they all have to die in this war.  

You have Chirrut, who is the last relic of a religion whose lifeblood has been stolen to power a weapon of the enemy–his only peace as a character is to die bringing that weapon and that enemy to its knees.  There is no Temple for him to guard, there are only a handful of kyber crystals left in the galaxy, and there’s no way for him to change that.  Characters need closure, it’s what makes an ending satisfactory, and Chirrut’s only closure is to do what he can to right this impossible wrong, there’s nothing else for him, and that means he has to die bringing the weapon down.

You have Baze, who doesn’t even have his faith anymore, all he has is Chirrut and his gun.  Well, we just established that Chirrut has to die to close his personal arc.  Baze has nothing to tie him to the world without Chirrut, because the war has taken everything from him–his people, his home, his faith, and now his partner.  Baze is, I think, very much a story of loss, so his closure comes from knowing that he has reclaimed some part of that, and there is no way–given his character and what we see of him–for him to reclaim any of that except in the face of death, when he is able to lay claim to his faith again.  And that’s only possible because, at the last moment, Baze has nothing except the faith that Chirrut held for him all this time.  And of course he can only take that back in the face of certain death.

You have Bodhi, who is the one with the message.  That’s what his whole arc is about, getting the message to where it’s supposed to go.  I think I’ve talked about this before, but Bodhi…he’s pretty much burned all his bridges, his home in Jedha is gone and he’s a traitor and a rogue, all he has left is the message and the hope that someone is listening.  For his narrative to end the moment he gets confirmation that “Yes, Rogue One, we hear you” is a very clean, natural close, because it offers him the assurance of a task completed.

And then you have Jyn and Cassian, who are very much creations of the war in their own ways.  They exist because of the war.  They would not tolerate being out of the war, because they’ve never known anything but.  There is no future for them, the way they’re portrayed in the movie, except to win the war at the price of their own lives.  They’re not villains to be redeemed or heroes to be lauded, they are people who have been carved so much into the form and function of a weapon that they wouldn’t know how to be anything else anymore.  And we get that impression very much over the course of the movie, with the way that absolutely everything is second to Cassian’s mission and the way that even at her most removed Jyn is still a soldier at heart.  They are Achilles, not Odysseus–there is not a safe haven and a home waiting for them.  They are destined to challenge the unbreakable city and die bringing it down.

And K-2…K-2 is Cassian’s imaginary friend, in a lot of ways.  He created K-2, he taught K-2, he fed love and humor and duty, always duty, into K-2′s circuits until there was no empty space left.  Of course K-2 dies for Cassian.  Of course he does.

So Rogue One works because these are all people whose personal narratives are crafted and supported by the war, and because these are all people whose closure is a grave.  They’re not Luke, who closes his arc with saving Vader, or Han, who closes his arc with finding something to fight for and someone who loves him, or even Leia, who closes her arc by avenging her planet through the saving of another.  They’re not the heroes of a grand and sweeping epic.  They are the martyrs whose stories could only end in peace when they died doing their duty.

(Source: thenarddog, via wildehacked)

Anonymous asked: consider this tho: gwendoline christie plays rey and daisy ridley plays phasma bc a) have u seen that vid of oscar isaac and john boyega and gwendoline christie jamming all together to a led zeppelin song and b) small! terrifying! absolutely do not fuck with! phasma and c) rey using her size and strength to make dragging shit from wrecks easier and despite being able to beat junk selling food guy up does not bc she has no other way of getting food? pls consider

*gasp*

Anon.

Dearheart.

This…this is so beautiful…

I love this immediately, wholeheartedly, and entirely without shame.

Tall!Rey looming over Poe and Finn!

Small!Phasma staring Han down totally unimpressed!

*LONG GASP*

TALL REY BENDING OVER TO HUG FINN AND LOOKING SO AWESTRUCK THAT HE CAME BACK FOR HER.

STAMP OF APPROVAL

MAKE IT SO

copperbadge:

ladybessyboo:

copperbadge:

peradii:

digitaldiscipline:

doctorwithafryingpan:

dafterwho:

arctic-hands:

not-to-worry–fan-not-stalker:

kyraneko:

peradii:

We all know that Hoth was a simmering mess of hormones and stress and I would pay good money for a soap opera about them. Here are some things which Definitely Happened: 

  • There’s a betting pool going on who takes Luke’s virginity. The favourites are Han and Leia, but Wedge Antilles has pretty good odds, and there’s a small contingent of aliens who are convinced it will be Chewie (after all, who could resist that Wookie musk? Headcanon: most alien races consider humans soft and gross. Most alien races find Wookies absurdly attractive. Han Solo isn’t the ladykiller; Chewie is.)
  • Leia and Han scream at each other in every corner of the base. Everyone is desperate for them to fuck. They do not. The sexual tension is so thick that it could be cut into blocks and sold as wall insulation. More than once they are ‘accidentally’ locked in a supply cupboard in the vain hope that claustrophobia will act as the catalyst that enables their frustration to spark into true love – or at least nasty raunchy cupboard sex. It does not. All that happens is that the offender has legally changed their name to escape the Wrath of Organa. 
  • Someone paints a shirtless Han Solo on their X Wing. Leia is furious. Han is delighted: both at the highly flattering portrait (he has an eight-pack, he is shredded) and at Leia’s fury (you’re jealous princess/no I am not/you’re jealous, hey I can pose like that for you if you –). Hoth’s winter had nothing on the chilly silence that followed that suggestion. 
  • Luke and Leia both have very graphic dreams about Han Solo. Han Solo has very graphic dreams about the twins –  individually, together, he’s thirty fucking years old, why is his brain doing this to him.(Later on they will, individually, realise that due to Luke and Leia’s Force-bond they probably created a circle of Han Solo Sex Dreams: Leia had them, so Luke sensed her lust for Han which intensified his own lust for Han, which led to Luke having Han Solo sex dreams, which led to Leia lusting – and so on, and so on. For the sake of their sanity, they never share this revelation which each other.)
  • Luke is SO COLD. All the time. WHY DOES NO ONE APPRECIATE HOW COLD HE IS. He comes from a desert world. Of course he’s cold! What is all this white stuff? It was pretty for the first fve seconds but holy fucking Force it is so cold it burns and what the hell is going on with that? He bundles himself up in so many layers that he waddles rather than walks. Fearsome Last of the Jedi indeed.
  • Luke tapes a knife to a cleaning droid (disc-shaped things that swish around the base, sucking up dirt) and names it Stabby. Why, says Leia. Luke, the boy from Tatooine, shining and happy despite everything says why not. Why not indeed. Stabby is very fond of chasing Han. Han wants desperately to shoot the fucking thing– but then he sees big-eyed Luke and sharp-toothed Leia cooing over it and, well. A little bit of light stabbing is nothing, compared to those two smiling. 

STABBY THE SPACE ROOMBA!

I am torn between wanting Stabby to be grabbed and evacuated along with the Rebels and make it to the next base, and wanting Stabby to get Vader.

Compromise: shortly after losing the Millennium Falcon, Vader, storming through the Rebel base, is startled to feel a sudden jolt of pain from the artificial sensors on his left leg prosthetic: a sharp sensation on his ankle. Surprised, because he sensed no threat–is the limb malfunctioning?–he looks down, and there is a cleaning droid with a knife taped to it, a little painted-on Rebel lieutenant’s insignia, and the word STABBY written on it.

He stares down at it, completely and utterly taken aback for the first time in over a decade. Fearlessly, it chitters back at him, sounding very triumphant.

He picks it up.

Off in the fractal weirdness of hyperspace, Rebels on several ships are surprised to find an update on Stabby’s kill-update feed, and then thoroughly shocked at the accompanying image: the upward-pointing camera has captured an image of Darth Vader staring down at the droid.

It’s the fastest news ever to travel through the Rebel grapevine, the mix of triumph and loss that is, they are certain, Stabby’s heroic last stand.

Until a day later, when the thing updates again, this time showing an extremely confused Imperial officer. And another, and another, and another, day after day.

They cancel the funeral.

Vader hasn’t done much just for the fun of it in two decades. Watching Imperial officers swear and clutch their ankles as a cleaning drone with a knife taped to it, an Imperial emblem, lieutenant’s insignia, and the word STABBY painted on it, bumps into them and then chatters triumphantly, he’s figured he’s earned.

STABBY FIC!  STABBY STARWARS FIC!  YOU HAVE MADE MY DAY!

But do they send in a rescue unit to reclaim their most honorable POW?

no, the rebels are all too happy to have vader backing one of their most valuable psychological weapons.  stabby’s antics are invaluable for their ability to escalate tension within imperial ranks, and vader’s personal amusement means stabby will get to keep running his miniature interference mission for a long time to come

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSS

STABBY LIVESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Grand Moff Tarkin limps into Vader’s quarters. Again. “Lord Vader, enough of this.”

“I have altered the droid; pray I do not alter it any further.”

(If there’s one thing young Anakin Skywalker can appreciate, it’s a hot-rodded maintenance droid, c’mon.)

VADER PUTS A LIGHTSABRE ON STABBY

HE CALLS IT HIS APPRENTICE

MY SON WILL NOT TURN TO THE DARKSIDE BUT MY SON’S STABBY SON WILL

Stabby is eventually recovered and given a medal after the defeat of the Emperor, but his poor little chassis is too badly damaged by then to even hold onto the knife anymore. His internal mechanism is removed and upgraded, and then the Master Droid Tech charged with fixing him casts around for a new casing to put him in.

“Hey!” calls a teenaged Poe Dameron, walking into the Droid repair shop. “I got this decommissioned BB-8 chassis they said to bring in here. It needs a new owner. Captain said I can have it if I can find a new mechanism for it.”

The Master Droid Tech looks at Stabby, then at the BB-8 chassis, then back at Stabby. Stabby turns his unsheathed ocular sensor to Poe and beeps adoringly. (This is a common if relatively new reaction to Poe Dameron, who has just graduated from his Awkward Stage.)

“Yeah, I got one for you right here,” the Tech says, grinning. 

oops I slipped and podfic happened

(big thanks to @platinumvampyr for making the Stabby fanart!)

THIS IS GLORIOUS.

(via primarybufferpanel)

reasons to love harrison ford

extraterrestrial-communist:

livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

estebanwaseaten:

sapphixxx:

an-gremlin:

losethehours:

madlori:

where-are-your-source-citations:

thecarrisonfiles:

james-asslow:

fiyhi:

james-asslow:

1. hates donald trump
2. got his ear pierced at claires because why not
3. legit asks people to beat him up in action scenes EVEN NOW AS AN OLD MAN
4. is arguably one of the most iconic star wars characters yet couldnt give less of a crap abt star wars
5. the universe tried to kill him (or at least permanently incapacitate him) twice in 2015 and it only mildly inconvenienced him
6. flies helicopters in search and rescue missions
7. was in his 40s for the majority of the indiana jones series which is insane when you think about all the stunts involved
8. quote “the director yells cut and harrison cracks open a beer and then builds a fucking shed”
9. arguably sexy
10. points angrily and its super effective

11. is just a really sweet person
12. no really my dad worked with him on firewall as the tech advisor and he was just a really swell guy
13. got my mom’s birth date from my dad and sent her flowers
14. he sent my mom flowers for her birthday
15. he didn’t even know her he just wanted to be sweet

this was a beautiful and necessary edition to this post thank you oh my god

Awwwww

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

When he was asked to be in Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” video, in which he pulled up alongside them in a car and gave Jimmy a little wink and an air-kiss, when he showed up at the set he looked kind of put out. Kimmel was afraid he wasn’t down with what they were asking. But he just said, “I don’t know, this wardrobe…don’t you have anything mesh that I could wear?”

When he was filming “Witness” he rented a small farm from a friend of mine. At the end of the filming my friend went and checked out the property as usual. He noticed the barn door had been leveled so it no longer would swing open on it’s own. Went into the house and saw the closets had been redone, in the kitchen the cabinets had been replaced and all the drawers now opened really well. Turns out that there were thousands of dollars of work and materials put into fixing up everything at the place.

My friend called Ford and asked him how much he was asking for the work. Ford told him doing that kind of thing helped him relax and stay sane when he was filming. Would not take a dime. Plus he paid for a new water heater and got the sewage system cleaned out.

And he paid rent to live there the entire time.

Local Carpenter Stumbles Into Stardom, Worries This May Interfere With His Carpentry

My step sister was driving through Wyoming once, near Ford’s ranch. She stops for gas, and as she’s filling up, this huge motorcycle roars in behind her, scared the pants off her. The rider, dressed in all black steps off, and she yells at him “who do you think you are blasting in here like that, you Darth Vader looking motherfucker?”. He takes off the helmet, and it’s Harrison Ford, and without missing a beat he says

“Hey! I’m not Darth Vader, I’m Luke Skywalker”

From the co-production designer on The Force Awakens, Darren Gilford:

“The Millennium Falcon was the first thing we were actually building. I had been in London and I came home back to L.A. for Christmas. So I go to Sports Chalet to do some last-minute shopping; I get there early, run to the back of the store, get what I need. I’m coming back through the store, and I just happen to pass this person holding up a pair of ski pants, and it’s Harrison Ford. I look at him, he looks at me and puts his head right down. I can tell he doesn’t want to be bothered; I’m sure from the look on my face he knew I knew who he was. 

So I walk past him, and after about 10 feet I think, ‘If there’s ever a time to say hello to Harrison Ford, I’m building the Millennium Falcon!’ So I turn around very hesitantly and go, ‘Harrison, I’m sorry to bother you. I’m co-production designer on the new Star Wars, I’m just back from London, and I’ve been building the Falcon.’ A big smile came across his face, he put his hand out, and we had such a great conversation — he couldn’t have been sweeter. 

As I’m walking away, he goes, ‘Darren!’ and calls me back. He goes, ‘The toggle switches.’ I go, ‘Toggle switches.’ He goes, ‘The toggle switches on the Falcon. When they built it the first time, they bought cheap toggle switches without any springs in them. Every time I threw a toggle switch, it fell back; it wouldn’t hold. It drove me crazy. Please, make sure the toggle switches are fixed this time.’ I go, ‘No problem! I’ll take care of it!’ 

So months go by, I’m back in London, we’re getting close [to principal photography], and I get a phone call saying J.J.’s headed down to check out the cockpit, and Harrison’s with him. I run down there and I see J.J. in the passenger seat and Harrison in the pilot seat. They’re just giddy; they’re having so much fun. And then I see Harrison look up, and he just starts throwing all the toggle switches: boom, boom, boom, boom. [Laughs.] And I remember thinking, ‘Phew, minor victory. Take solace in that and move on. Next task.’ That’s my favorite story.”

HARRISON FORD SMILES WHEN MEETING CREW MEMBERS AND IS A NERD FOR FUNCTIONING PRODUCTION DESIGN

Don’t forget about his Halloween costumes

Harrison ford is a chaotic-good-aligned cryptid, confirmed

(Source: hangoghlo, via skymurdock)

(Source: ct-hardcase, via princehal9000)

joestrummin:

liznt:

some sort of fixation…

  • Bodhi, sweet angel Bodhi, paid all of the attention in the empire induction safety talk; he presses the three red buttons at 12, 6 and 3 o'clock, twists anticlockwise 45° and the grenade is disarmed.
  • Unbenkownst to Chirrut, Jyn placed her crystal within his staff, a tiny morsel of hope; the blaster shot headed straight for his heart, strikes it instead, and is deflected into his shoulder.
  • Baze, seeing his love in pain and in danger, but not without hope for survival, flies into a rage and fights his way back to the ship, dragging chirrut behind him; he kills 32 men, and saves one.
  • Cassian and Jyn are just about to step into the lift when Bodhi hisses from the radio telling them to get where he can see them FAST; they don’t look down when they step over Krennic, even when he grips Jyn’s ankle and begs
  • Two days later Cassian is well enough to argue his way out of medbay, down to droid storage, where he loads K2-SO’s last backup into another imperial droid; K3-SO sighs and says, “Did you let me die again? You know as soon as I work out how, I’m deleting the self-sacrifice algorithm you wrote into me.”

If I bring this back on my main will y'all get it to a nice round 500

(via skymurdock)