I found my very own High-Quality (…lol ”quality”) pic of Trash Fire Jesus Luke, so does this mean I give myself a 1K fic of my choosing? Does someone else write it for me? I don’t know what any of these rules are please help me.
leupagus: #what a weird old man #what a weird old face #weird nose #weird eyes #weird skunk beard #I am so violently into it guys #rock me trash fire jesus #I just want a 100k fic about TFA-style Mara Jade #played by Octavia Spencer #being like undercover as the space pirate who brings that weird old hermit dude supplies once a month #and one day she rolls up and Luke and Rey are playing Force Tennis or whatever and is like ‘okay here’s the deal' #‘I am super dupes supposed to kill you but the thing is that there’s a bunch of First Order dickwads coming' #‘and they’re going to murder you WAY WORSE AND MEANER than I was planning #‘so come with me if you want to live marginally longer than you were gonna live anyway' #and Luke and Rey and Mara all have a galactic space adventure #I’m just saying #anyway yeah this is all really good for me in the sense of being perfectly awful for me #I am so sexually miserable right now #oh my god robot hand me on it
Update: NOBODY’S EVEN OFFERED to write me fic, you are all bastards
THIS IS ONLY 500 WORDS BUT WHATEVER
“you remind me of someone on jakku,” says rey, the fourth night they’re huddled around luke skywalker’s cave fire in awkward silence.
something like a smile tugs at the corner of luke’s mouth. “i remind you of an old man on a desert planet?” he sighs and the smile is gone. “me too.”
rey’s learned that if she allows for luke’s mopey, vague insights, she loses track of the conversation. “some of the scavengers would group up. they didn’t have a home like me. they’d huddle around a fire they built in a composter bin and growl at anyone who came too close.”
the smile is definitely gone now. luke scowls at his fire. “i don’t growl.”
“the trash fire savior of the galaxy,” rey muses aloud.
the only break from the monotony of the sighing, lonely wind and the waves crashing against the rocks and r2d2’s rude comments about luke’s abode is when a ship zooms out of lightspeed, idles a few minutes, and leaves several units of mysterious packages lighter.
the first time the ship dropped off supplies after rey arrived, the pilot found rey and luke in a silent stare-off on the highest point of the cliff.
“oh, that’s new,” said the pilot, apparently referring to rey. “you lost? you need a lift off this rock? you here on purpose? oh god, you’re here on purpose.”
rey glanced at her out of curiosity and got force-pushed off the cliff for her troubles. she spent the next half-hour clinging to a rock and trying not to fall, and listening to the pilot telling luke he’s a weird old man while luke growled back.
“leia misses you,” rey tries once. luke stalks off to some secret cave she hasn’t found yet and doesn’t emerge for days. rey amuses herself by rearranging his living room cave. when he comes back it’s purple and green with flowers and seaweed. he doesn’t take the stuff down, so that’s a point to rey.
the supplies ship shows up off schedule. rey’s up on top of it immediately. any excitement is better than solving the mystery of whether luke has actually bathed in the decade he’s been here.
“get on the ship,” says the pilot. she says it to a shrub nearby, which turns out to be hiding luke. rey fumes. he hasn’t been hiding in secret caves after all.
“why should i?” he asks.
“because i said so, skywalker.”
before the conversation can get any more childish, the pilot takes a blaster out of her holster and aims it at luke.
rey waits for him to force-knock it out of the pilot’s hand, but he just quirks an eyebrow.
“oh no,” he says. “you’ve got me.”
“wait, what?” says rey. “are we really doing this?”
“the first order is coming to torture, maim, and kill both of you, kid,” says the pilot over her shoulder. “come with me if you want to live slightly longer than you would if you stayed. maybe even the same length of time, but in a lot less pain.”
luke shrugs and heads toward the ship’s open docking bay. he halts at the top of the ramp, raising his skeletal robot hand to beckon to rey. “come on, padawan.”
“this is super dumb,” says rey. predictably, no one listens to her.
PERFECTION
(via leupagus)
poe canonically gets super excited about cool-looking spacecrafts (he describes a TIE fighter as having a “deadly beauty” in the tfa novelization, god) so i’m just imagining poe gushing on and on to finn about his favorite types of space ships, and finn’s just like “you’re SUCH a nerd but i love you anyway” and is happy to listen to every word because poe’s so cute when he’s excited
And Rey casually bringing up her scavenging inside dozens of Stardestroyer’s and her new ownership of the Falcon, and Poe’s face just falls in shock before lighting up as he starts reciting about the Battle of Jakku with the air battles and the many exploits of the Millennium Falcon she never heard about. Finn just points a look at her saying “now he’s at it for hours, good job,” but he’s trying and failing to look exasperated while he’s fighting this huge goofy grin and stars in his eyes because he’s like “wow I love you two too much, I can’t ever be mad at you two for long.”
“No you’re not serious!”
“I am! The breach was on the right side, made by an X-Wing?”
“Yes!”
“I pulled salvage from that ship! Nobody managed to make the climb before I came along! There were compressor coils and functioning actuators that I took from the X-Wing wreckage and–”
“Woahwoahwoah,” Poe said, waving his hands to stop Rey. “That was the Blue Leader X-Wing: The ship that turned the tide of the Battle of Jakku by taking out the flagship Star Destroyer and you pulled salvage from it?”
Rey blinked and then wet her lips, not sure if the pilot was upset or impressed.
“Yeah…?” she said, voice breaking, ending on a questioning high note of uncertainty. Poe let out a noise somewhere between a shout and a laugh. He laced his fingers behind his neck as he leaned back, expression incredulous. Rey still wasn’t sure if he approved or not.
“Holy shit,” Poe said after a second. He laughed. “Holy shit!” he repeated, “That’s incredible!” Rey released a quiet breath of relief and mirrored the grin on Poe’s face. He leaned forward, reclasping his hands in front of him. “You know that Star Destroyer was responsible for fourteen Imperial victories after the destruction of the second Death Star? When Blue Leader–the pilot’s name was Remi Jouin–was critically damaged, the fleet was meant to retreat. His ship was on the way down, and would have been deflected off of the Stardestroyer’s shields. But Remi made a last-second lightspeed jump that phased him through the shields and crashed him straight in to the command bridge. Oh his way down he went over the comms and said–”
“–hold your ground and give them hell for me,” Rey finished for him, practically bouncing in her seat. Poe blinked at her.
“I’m sorry, you’ve heard this story before?” He asked, brows knitting together.
“No,” Rey said, grinning so widely her cheeks hurt. She leaned forward, as if to share a secret. “I didn’t just pull compressor coils and actuators from the wreckage. I took the black box. I had it in my shelter on Jakku.” Poe visibly started in his seat.
“Y-…” he stuttered, laying his palms against the table. “You’re serious?” he whispered. Rey nodded.
“I had a screen I could hook it up to so I could–” Poe stood up abruptly, nearly knocking over his chair as he did. Finn, who had been dozing with his head propped up on one hand, jumped and blinked sleepily at the sudden commotion. Poe swept around the table, seizing Rey’s wrist as he did and dragging her out of her chair after him.
“What’s going on?” Finn asked, half standing.
“We’re going to Jakku!” Poe called over his shoulder. Finn ran a tired hand over his face, a deep frown set in to his expression.
“Jakku…? Wha… why do you always want go go back to Jakku?”
(via bronzedragon)
Quick reminder that Luke had about five minutes of training with a lightsaber and NONE of it included actually fighting against an other opponent. Remember Ben sparring with Luke? Nope. It was just him playing around with a robot that tased him
Do you remember Yoda sparring with Luke? Nope. He was teaching him about the Force but we never saw him ONCE teaching him how to actually fight with a lightsaber. Luke had precisely ZERO experience when it came to fighting with a lightsaber. And yet none of you said anything when Luke actually kept up with Vader and later on actually defeated Vader
Rey on the other hand spend her ENTIRE LIFE defending herself with her staff. She is very well versed in fighting with a melee weapon. But when she fought against a HEAVILY INJURED Kylo Ren you immediately cry Mary Sue and unrealistic.
Think about that. Think about what this attitude says about you.
Also an important thing about fight choreography:
A great deal of thought was put into that scene, particularly Rey’s fighting style. She may seem pretty well adapted to lightsaber combat, but in reality she struggles a lot during the fight.
This is a character who has trained exclusively - as far as we know - with a quarterstaff, which is completely different from fighting with a two-handed weapon. Form, stance, strategy - you name it. And this is actually quite apparent in Rey’s choreography for the first half of the scene.
She starts attacking Kylo Ren with these jabs that would probably crack his ribs if she were wielding her quarterstaff. But since she has a brand new weapon in her hands, the strikes are completely ineffective.
But that’s what’s so amazing about this scene. Rey adapts. She’s analyzing Kylo Ren’s form the entire time and she’s learning how to apply it to her own fighting. When she uses the Force to help her focus, she overcomes the translation between one style of weapon to another and secures her victory.
Rey is the first character we’ve actually seen learning how to use a lightsaber against another opponent. And we see it happening in the middle of a fight.
I really enjoyed this scene because I knew they’d spent all this time building up how smart and quick and adaptable Rey is as a character, and we get to see her really shine when she’s pushed into a corner and has to think on her toes.
Remember how she lost that second Tai Fighter when they lost their guns? How she remembered that giant ship she’d been excavating for years and used it to her advantage and knew how to position the gun to get Finn a shot?
Or how she used the doors on that freighter to cut off the (Whatever’s) tentacles when it had ahold of Finn, because she couldn’t run to keep up with it?
There were so many instances of great improvisation for Rey, but I don’t think a lot of people who watched the movie really caught on that she was very quick thinking or smart because the other characters didn’t spend a ton of time congratulating her or patting her on the back for being smart, and these are traits that are often only given to male characters, so people are confused as to why she’s so successful and simply think it’s poor writing, when the reality is that she’s just as smart/quick as Han was in the original Trilogy.
I’m so tired of the argument that just because Rey can do shit, she’s a “Mary Sue” character because guess what, women are capable of doing things men can too you know. Han was a smuggler who learnt how to get himself out of tight spots. Rey is a scavenger who learnt how to get herself out of tight spots. What is the difference? Some people can’t comprehend the idea that Rey doesn’t really need saving because she is so capable of taking care of herself, which is something soooo revolutionary or whatever idek. I mean, even Chewie who was Han’s partner for more than 30 years accepted Rey as his copilot, accepted Rey to be in Han’s position. And Rey is a freaking Jedi goddamnyou!
The girl was trained to fight, to survive, and I’m just sick of the double standard where people just accepted Farm Boy Luke being a fantastic Jedi and pilot but suddenly a girl can do shit and there’s outrage like how dare a girl be intelligent and strong right???
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
this bird imitating r2d2 is the cutest thing ive ever seen
What a nerd
He’s even the right colors.
do you realize this bird is a fan of R2D2. this bird heard R2D2′s sounds & decided it sounded like something that should be imitated. this bird is a star wars fan and made the choice to do a bird equivalent of cosplay
(via yea-lets-do-this-shit)
‘That is not how the Force works.’ a drabble
Leia has, for various reasons, a very dubious outlook on classic Jedi training methods. This is not just because of various circumstances surrounding her son, she’s had this opinion for many years before his birth. But Luke was insistent when Ben proved Force sensitive and there was nothing Leia could say otherwise that had any documentation, any records, any proof.
(she’s concerned that her use of the Force might be considered Other, or Grey, or Dark)
It’s like this: the Jedi are unsubtle.
It’s like this: Moving a blaster’s nose a half centimeter causes the shot to miss by a feet. It’s much easier to make 5 blasters miss than to throw 5 Stormtroopers backwards.
It’s like this: when Leia speaks, she is Forceful. When she speaks to a room, she starts with nudges to make everyone listen, she slides in quiet elation at her words, she ends with encouraging a feeling of being able to do absolutely anything in the Universe.
And she lets her speech carry out the rest of the details, rather than her Force, she lets her people decide how to act, she lets choice finish their decisions and these decisions and choices lasts longer when she leaves the room than if she simply Forced someone to say, “I will do as you command.”
(she takes after her mother, she hears)
Leia wonders if that was how Palpatine caused her father to go Dark, and remains quiet when Luke trains her son.
And when Ben turns, she feels the reverberations, and can’t find it in her to blame Luke for it entirely.
(she wonders if she should have Spoken, or if it would have made things worse)
[[[because lol]]]
The base is collapsing around their ears, their TIE fighters are falling from the sky, and That Girl has come back with That Lightsaber and more training and for the life of him Kylo cannot hold his ground against her so he’s running but those are things he’s not examining too closely. Instead:
“HIGHLY TRAINED FIGHTERS, he says,” Kylo swears under his breath and dodges around more Stormtroopers, hoping they’d stall his pursuit. The Force tells him they don’t do a damn thing. “PICKED from a YOUNG AGE, he says, BETTER than CLONES, he says, THEN WHY CAN’T YOUR STORMTROOPERS HIT THE BROADSIDE OF A DEATHST–”
Hux suddenly skids to a stop. “She’s here.”
“WHO’S HERE?!”
“I don’t know what she has, the scientists can’t figure it out but when she’s around,” Hux staggers, panting, “at this point, no one can aim straight if she’s even on the same planet, let alone the same room and–”
“WHO?!” Kylo reaches out and grabs Hux by the throat, pulling him to his toes. “GIVE ME A NAME.”
A throat clears behind him.
“Ben,” His mother says.
Kylo freezes.
“Put that back where you found it. We need to talk.”
(via fuckyeahisawthat)
ok how about this
instead of only meeting when they’re about to lose eachother, rey, finn and poe all meet at the start of the movie when rey goes rummaging through the wreckage of the tie fighter they crash-landed in, and finds two mildly concussed strangers and a bunch of parts that require serious scrubbing but will probably keep her fed for a week.
points to consider:
- rey already found bb-8 before she finds finn and poe, so: emotional reunion between poe and his droid while rey and finn look on and think, independently of eachother, what a swell guy
- rey offers to share her rations for the day, but makes them do the scrubbing while she sits in the shade and relaxes for once
- they end up at rey’s place and by this point rey already knows they’re with the resistance and she’s a little bit flustered because she lives in a literal wreck that she decorated with flowers and dolls and scavenged rebel alliance paraphernalia. she’s kind of glaring and i-dare-you-to-say-something at first, but the boys love it. finn is looking around trying not to be too obviously wide-eyed at all the home-y touches b/c he grew up in such a sterile, uniform environment where they probably didn’t have a lot of personal effects. poe comments that it’s cozy and actually reminds him of the squad dorms on d’qar because pilots always have a mess of parts lying around and little model ships and things, and rey would fit right in; rey is trying to be Very Dignified about everything but inside she’s all !!!!
- because of reasons, poe and finn are stuck on jakku for a couple of days before the resistance can pick them up, so rey takes them scavenging. poe is very bad at climbing things, but finn manages to keep up and he knows a lot about star destroyer junk and he and rey get a little geeky about it and finn starts thinking that if the resistance won’t have him after all, maybe rey will and he can stay on jakku and be a scavenger with rey and live in rey’s lovely home. tl;dr by the end of the day he’s mentally scribbling ‘mr. rey’s husband <3 <3 <3′ in his journal.
- rey still ends up beating plott’s thugs to defend bb-8 and the boys are like …oh.
- when they board the falcon during their emergency getaway, both poe and finn assume it’s going to be poe flying it, but he ends up in the co-pilot seat hanging on for dear life and by the time they’re in orbit he’s pretty sure he’s about to do something incredibly inappropriate, like ask rey to marry him
- finn still gets the jacket. idk does he still have that cynical ‘we can’t win’ moment at maz’s place and after he and rey say goodbye poe follows him all hey buddy i’m sad that you’re going but i totally respect your choice so here’s something to remember me by?
- poe introducing finn and rey to leia. they’re all in various states of exhausted dishevelment but poe’s got his arms tight around them and his sweet, crinkly-eyed smile and leia decides on the spot that yes, she will officiate this wedding.
(via bonehandledknife)
‘how will i exPLAIN that to mY ChilDREn iF therE are GaY PeoPle iN a StAR WAR’
no please look me in the face & tell me again that ‘why did the guy kiss the guy’ or ‘why did the girl kiss the girl’ would be a more uncomfortable or inappropriate conversation to have with your children as compared with ‘why did Leia kiss her brother’.
Like.
sort out ur f****ing priorities people
I don’t give two shits about kylo ren or his getting a redemption arc but if it will make general leia “didn’t deserve this” organa-solo happy I will drag his twenty-whine year old greasy pool noodle ass back into the light myself
(via yea-lets-do-this-shit)
