Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

Anonymous asked: humble request: rey or phasma, ur choice, for the headcanon meme

Heck, how about some Rey feelings.  Please observe that I have literally never given a fuck about the extended universe for more than long enough to Make Things Worse, and I have no idea what Rey’s canonical backstory is in the New EU.

A: what I think realistically

So…this is what I started following Wilde for, way back in the day, but Rey has definitely eaten a dude before, right?  Like, she grew up a feral desert orphan child and has definitely killed a couple people to protect herself and her home and her food supply, and. Well.  Supposing it was a sort of being whose flesh isn’t toxic to humans…that’s a lot of food.  Your average human runs about 40,000 calories, if you eat whatever organs are edible (not all, but a good number) and make appropriate use of the bones. That’s literally almost a month of food for a skinny nervous abandoned teenager.  More if you ration it.

Rey feels worse about losing some of the meat because she was learning how to cure it than she does about any other part of the situation.

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

Rey has never had a last name.  Neither has Finn.  Finn comes into the Dqar base unconscious and bleeding out and who the hell else is going to put themselves down as people to contact in case he needs something (in case he dies, they do not think) except Rey, who Finn came back for, and Poe, who came back for Finn.  So through some confusion with medical staff Finn is officially down as Finn Dameron because…well, Poe’s not going to tell them they can’t, okay?  Poe has a big extended family back on Yavin IV, they won’t mind one more, and honestly just Finn is starting to look a little lonely, flapping out in the breeze without any other names on it.  The guy can pick a last name when he wakes up, but for the moment, Finn Dameron it is.

Rey is informed, after she’s had four ribs and a mild concussion repaired, that they’ll need her last name so that they can record the concussion and make sure future doctors know about it.  This takes a remarkable amount of explaining about the point of medical records, followed by a lengthy but competently recalled list of every notable injury Rey has ever sustained.

“Thank you, Rey,” the medic says dryly, noting down the last of them.  “And a last name?  You can just pick one to fill in, for now, and change it later if you need to.”

“Dameron,” Rey says offhandedly, because last names are about family and family are the people who come back for you and honestly that’s about the extent of Rey’s understanding on the matter.

By the time Rey’s back from hunting down Luke from some backwater corner of the galaxy, the entire Resistance knows that Poe Dameron gave Finn his jacket and Rey his droid (temporarily, he did get it back, but no one seems willing to listen) and the both of them his last name.  As far as Rey is concerned, corralling Finn and waiting for Poe in his quarters is nothing short of the obvious solution to everyone’s problems.

Rey is a feral desert child whose knowledge of bureaucratic nonsense is limited at best and nonfunctional at worst.  She mis-files a couple of things a week, and usually it’s caught by the actual administrative staff, but how were they supposed to know that she didn’t understand that she’d accidentally filed all her documents with two spouses. She does live with Finn and Poe, she protests when it comes up, and they are her family, and they aren’t related, she just eliminated options until there was only one left!

To Finn, who grew up in a world where marriage barely existed as a concept and certainly wasn’t something he was familiar with, this seems perfectly legitimate.

To Poe, who is literally the last person on base to find out when Leia very dryly hands him an anniversary present and says “I hear you got married this time last year,” this prompts a lot more questions.

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

Do you ever think about Rey as a little girl, trying not to cry because it wastes water and she has so little water left, and sitting out under the stars as she wonders why she wasn’t good enough? Why she wasn’t good enough for her parents to stay?  Why she wasn’t good enough for them to take her with them?  

Why she wasn’t good enough for them to love?

Because if you ever think about that, let me raise you one up.  Do you ever think about Rey as a young woman, holding an ancient weapon in both hands and trying to drive back a ragged blade of scarlet light, trying not to fall into the crevasse opening below her feet, trying not to die here, at the hands of this wild-eyed creature behind that terrible mask, this monster who killed the only person who had really, truly offered her a place in the world (do you want a job)—and do you ever think about how, in total desperation, she reaches out to the Force and begs I am not good enough for this, please save me anyway.

And the Force comes to her call with the force of a sun being born and answers oh, wild girl, newest heart, thing-with-teeth-and-starlight-eyes, you are just as good as you choose to be.

And Rey opens her eyes and throws the monster away from her and, prowling forward with her teeth bared and starlight in her eyes, makes a choice.

D:  what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

Right, so, we all pretty much know that Rey is probably going to be Luke’s daughter because ultimately Star Wars is the story of the Skywalker family more than anything else.  But honestly I think if I had total creative control here I would go with that one suggestion that has drifted past once or twice about Rey being the Force’s second attempt at balance, another Force-child meant to repair the damage wreaked in the wake of the last. Her mother was not a Skywalker.  Her mother was no one of note.  Her mother was not equipped for a child like Rey.  Rey was born and the Force shook, and Rey cried and the Force soothed her, and Rey laughed and the sun’s light was less brutal.  Her mother ran when Rey was seven.

Rey had no control over it, of course.  But alone, scaling the gutted hulk of fallen destroyers and battlestars, Rey always seemed to find the last valuable items, waiting to be ripped from the walls and control panels, and she never stumbled, never fell into the depths below her, never quite got severely injured.  Once, she found a ship wrecked on the sand and followed a tug that anchored somewhere under her breastbone, and found a door that had jammed shut in the crash.  No one had ever tried to open it.

When she pried the door free, Rey ripped out the hyperbaric chamber beyond and managed to rig up a sledge behind her speeder, and took a dead relic of a dead man who had once been the Force’s own child, unknown father-twin-cousin-self to Rey, to be traded for food.  It had earned her an entire month’s portions, and the quick-rise bread and the protein bars tasted strange on her tongue.  Like cannibalism, almost.  Eating one’s own kind to survive.  

The first time Rey uses the Force—intentionally, with anger and willfulness and desperation behind it—Luke and Leia almost have a mutual heart attack.  The sunburst of presence, the supernova, is familiar but unspeakably foreign, a gravitational pull like a supermassive star that draws the world behind it and how dare anyone question.

The first thing that flickers through Luke’s mind is an impossible Father?  On Dqar Leia feels a fierce lurch of Ben, you fool, don’t you dare—

When Rey fights with her saberstaff, white light a deadly halo around her hands, she could almost be another Jedi, at the height of his power and honor and glory long ago.  But Rey has never allowed anyone to dictate to her, and perhaps this is why the Force left her alone, to raise herself and learn her own limits.  Rey is a killer, certainly.  Rey will do what has to be done for the survival of herself and her people, now that she has people.  But no one has ever told Rey to feel nothing, to abandon her heart, and Rey’s heart holds the whole of the Force in its folds, her blood pumping starstuff and power.

When she stands again the First Order, against the Knights of Ren and their captain, against generals and armies and machines, against Snoke, the last of the Sith Lords, the outcome is foregone.

lathori asked: Star Wars Camelot AU Fucking Go <3 Your Wife

• CLEARLY Finn is King of Camelot, destined ruler of all Albion, hero-king snatched from a training center designed to churn out devoted soldiers for a dangerous faction rising in the wake of the previous wicked king’s demise (Palpatine, obvs)

• Rey is his queen and court enchanter, and Finn met her after being separated from his guardsan attack by bandits—she whomped him good with a staff and threw him into a lake with magic.  Naturally, he brought her back to his citadel and was like “This is our new court enchanter, she used to be a feral mountain child” and within a few months everyone went “Hey Finn what if you got married” and he went “Sounds great, meet your new queen!”  And everyone was EITHER really delighted OR completely horrified.  They’re a kickass couple and Rey is really good with seeing possible lines of influence and Finn is actually a killer diplomat and basically they rock.

• With the help of their Most Loyal and Trusted Knight, who would DIE for his king, especially since Finn swooped in and saved him when his quest went horribly awry in the process of booking it from the First Order.  Obviously this is the adopted son of the Lady of the Lake, Sir Poe Dameron (du Lac)…  

• You see where I’m going with this.

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the power goes out in the fray

For @littlestartopaz: What would have happened if Leia was sent to Tatooine and Luke to Alderaan?

This sounds like an excuse for my very favorite thing: blatantly strong-in-the-Force Jedi Leia. I was gonna do headcanons but instead HERE is the first scene of Leia Skywalker of Tatooine finding some old asshole in a brown robe.  *backflips out*

Leia scowled at the old man—Ben Kenobi, her ass—and the droid at her knee warbled happily.

“You lied,” Leia said.  The sweet-faced boy draped in white robes on the recording had asked for an Obi-wan, but Kenobi’s aren’t exactly a dime a dozen since the old homestead was annihilated by the Tuskens.  She can do the math.

“From a certain point of view,” Kenobi said with a shrug, smiling down at the droid.

“The boy on the recording–”

[Prince Luke Organa of Alderaan] the droid offered.

“—very helpful, thanks, Prince Luke said you were his only hope,” Leia said, prowling forward.  “What exactly qualifies you for that, old man?”

Kenobi looked up at her with a start at that, blinking pale blue eyes at her, and gave a brittle half-laugh.  “You’re very much like your father, when I knew him,” he said distantly.  And then he launched into an epic tale about Jedi and her father and Leia stood, feeling shock shiver through her.  She had known that her father was a general, but a Jedi?

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cadeteyes asked: If you're taking rogue one prompts, could you do headcannons for the tragic space bbys (those being Cassian and Bodhi. I have a few of my own but I'd love to see what other people think)

I am…sorry…it’s possible I went Full Tragic with these.

Cassian

• Cassian Andor has a home planet—Fest—but only in the most generously technical sense. (When Jyn asks, he shrugs and says “It’s cold, somewhere out on the Rim.  My sister showed me how to throw snowballs there when I was four.”  That’s about what he knows.)  His parents are merchants—legitimate merchants, thank you very much—and he learns young how to act like he knows where he’s going and what he’s doing, because wandering young children are always kind of a popular target for trouble.
• Cassian doesn’t remember a single day when someone flipped a switch and he lived in the Empire, it was more of a slow slide until suddenly everything was Stormtroopers and the whispers of Darth Vader and the Imperial Flag high overhead. And one day he looked up and saw the flag, and looked down and saw his parents smuggling information out of merchant centers for those who needed it, and he decided he was going to do something.  That’s the day he remembers.
• Cassian has never been naïve.  Three weeks later, he learned that spies die, and that, sometimes, saving something is worth paying with your life.  His parents and his sister bought his escape with theirs.  Watching their blood cool as he hid, he decided he was still going to do something, even if he died trying.
• Cassian speaks…a lot of languages.  The running joke in the Rebel Alliance is that if you need a translator and none of the droids can manage, it’s time to call Cassian.  He just kind of picked them up as he drifted, after his parents died, and hell, he was six then and it’s been twenty years, he’s worth his weight in gold as a linguist.  Of course, he’s only fluent in about eight, but if you need to talk to some random guy from Fuck All Nowhere, Outer Rim, Cassian’s your man.  It doesn’t matter if he’s never heard the language before, he’s going to Make It Happen.  That’s the other thing Cassian’s known for: Making It Happen.  It’s a good trait in a spy.
• (Cassian never meets Luke Skywalker—he dies just hours too soon.  But Luke would have liked to listen to Cassian curse in a cluttered mix of Bocce and Huttese and Force knows what else.  It’s the sound of home.)
• Cassian was formally recruited into the Rebellion because he managed to pick a spy’s pocket successfully, and then the spy watched this skinny eleven-year-old lie his ass off to a Stormtrooper and steal a speeder.  The spy (Cassian doesn’t remember his name, the man died on his next mission and Cassian cried for him) basically tucked Cassian under his arm like a football and kidnapped him.  He was welcomed like a prodigal into the Rebel Alliance, his family remembered for their sacrifice and his information collected over his wanderings a desperately needed help.
• His method of official entry to the Rebellion had a serious impact on Cassian’s recruiting style.
• Cassian has met Leia—she’s almost seven years younger than him, and she acts like he should know how high to jump before she gives the order.  He thinks she’s Great™.  He once watched her slay a man with nothing but words at forty paces and it was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen.  He thinks Bail Organa is Also Great™ and is absolutely flattered beyond belief when he one time hears Bail refer to him as their best spy.
• And finally: Cassian has done some bad shit.  He’s killed, he’s lied, and he’s been on both sides of the interrogation table more than once—sometimes nicely, other times…less so.  But the Rebellion is his home, it’s the only home he’s ever had since the warmth of his sister’s hand and his mother’s smile and his father’s voice, and he’s willing to do what he has to in order to protect it.  He regrets very little, and he still holds his hope for victory close to his heart. And it burns him that Jyn Erso is so ready to act righteous when she’s hidden from the war all these years.  It burns worse because he watches her speak and watches her rage and Force she’s like a star given human flesh, and he can’t breathe with how much he wants to see her lit up with belief in something.
• He dies at peace, breathing easy, because he’s protected his home and he’s seen Jyn on fire with passion and righteous anger and it was all he’s ever dreamed.

Bodhi

• Bodhi Rook doesn’t remember this—there’s a lot he doesn’t remember, from Before—but he has met Baze and Chirrut before. Actually, he met Guardian Malbus and Guardian Îmwe, when he came up to their knees.  All he remembers is that he loved the Temple of the Whills, loved the smooth warmth of the carved stone walls and the way the altar glowed dimly in the dark and the feeling of breathing in energy when he stood near the crystals.  He doesn’t remember Guardian Malbus’ booming laugh as he gaped up at the arches of the ceiling, nor Guardian Îmwe’s wide grin when he breathlessly said that it was beautiful.  He doesn’t remember the way he touched a kyber crystal—so daring he could barely believe it of himself—and felt it sing under his fingers and saw Guardian Îmwe’s milky eyes turn toward him as if summoned by the thrum in the air.
• Bodhi also doesn’t remember that he swore up and down for a full two years that he was going to be a Guardian.  
• Bodhi does remember a specific day when the flag of the Empire rose overhead.  The clones they had come to trust as the strong arm of the Jedi swept through Jedha City like a storm, and Bodhi remembers with horrible clarity the stark white of their uniforms, scrubbed clean of the individualized markers they’d been so proud of.  He remembers most clearly of all the body of one of the Guardians who had been most indulgent of him, a tall, powerful Togruta woman with a lightning-like scar branching down the length of her arm, splayed broken on the ground with her glazed eyes pointed to the flag hung out from the Temple wall.
• Bodhi remembers the lesson he learned that day: even the best fighter can’t stand against the Empire.
• Bodhi has two mothers and twin baby brothers and they need to be fed.  The Empire pays.  He’s sixteen when he swallows down his nausea and takes the cargo job.  He’s a good pilot—they don’t care about his age.
• It doesn’t hurt as much to watch them rip out the kyber crystals if he doesn’t watch.  
• Bodhi has seen more combat than you might think.  He’s been hit by raiders three times, Rebels twice, and perfected the fine art of ‘running like hell,’ but it doesn’t always work out.  He’s only ever had to shoot someone twice.
• He doesn’t want to talk about it.
• Bodhi is a little in love with Galen Erso.  Not so much with the man himself, although certainly there’s an appeal to the nimble fingers and soft voice and steady gaze, but with his courage. Bodhi, who misses the steady pulse of the kyber crystals, listens to Galen speak quietly about resistance and courage and finding a way to do the right thing, and sees the bright flicker of brave-hearted determination beneath the veneer of the Imperial engineer.  He listens, and Galen’s voice washes over him, and Bodhi loves him for the steady gaze in his eyes.  
• The same brave-bright storm lights in Jyn, as she fights to convince the Alliance of her father’s message, and she looks at him with a steady fire in her eyes, and Bodhi loves her for it.

Anonymous asked: Can we talk about K-2SO OMG he is such a precious child and he is so rude and I love him

MY DEAR ASSHOLE ROBOT.

So here’s something K-2SO has never told Cassian: he remembers part of his time as an Imperial droid.  Not much–certainly not enough to know what to tell a Stormtrooper where he’s taking some prisoners, thank you, Cassian.  Just a few minutes, prior to the reboot.

He remembers [IDENTIFY: SPY, REBEL ALLIANCE] ticking over his visual scanner.  He remembers [COMMAND: ELIMINATE], and advancing on the organic in the overlarge coat.  He remembers the organic–[IDENTIFY: MALE, HUMANOID, YOUNG]–pressing his lips together and taking aim with a blaster.

He remembers cold.

Which is stupid, of course, droids don’t feel cold, K-2 is designed to survive the vacuum of space.

But still.

The next thing he remembers is powering on, and wondering why he was on the ground.  And then, of course, he ran a full-system diagnostic because if there’s one thing Imperial droids aren’t meant to do, it’s wonder, so clearly there’s a glitch in his programming.

The diagnostic returned a report that all systems had been set to full default.  K-2SO lay perfectly still and issued a command to his circuits. [IDENTIFY: BASE COMMAND STRUCTURE.]

The code was still chasing itself in circles in an ineffective system search when the organic gave him a gentle prod with his boot.

[IDENTIFY: SPY, REBEL ALLIANCE], his system reported.

[YES, THANK YOU], K-2SO thought.  Thought.  He was pretty sure that was a glitch too.  The lack of memory base and base command set were definitely glitches.  He should report himself for decommissioning.

“Hey!” the organic hissed.  

“You have reprogrammed me,” K-2SO deduced slowly–slowly for a droid, which means that the organic probably thought he’d done it instantaneously.

“Yeah, so don’t shoot me for it.  Can you get me into the hangar?”

“Why should I?” K-2SO asked, flat, and the organic blined at him for a long moment before he bared his teeth.  

[IDENTIFY: MAMMALIAN PLEASURE RESPONSE], his system chirped.  

[PLEASE BE QUIET, I AM THINKING], K-2SO said, and he liked this thinking thing.  He also liked this liking-things thing.  He didn’t want to be decommissioned, and wasn’t that a major system failure.

“How about ‘because in the Rebel Alliance we don’t decommission mouthy droids’?”

[PROBABILITY OF DECOMMISSIONING: 98.97%] K-2SO’s system reported clinically.  

[SILENCE], he ordered.

“You shot me,” K-2SO observed, pulling himself upright.  The organic was still baring his teeth–grinning.

“Yeah, but you were going to kill me,” he said with a sharp accent.  “I’m Cassian.”

[IDENTIFY: ANDOR, CASSIAN; SPY, REBEL ALLIANCE; NUMBER EIGHT MOST WANTED–]

[S T O P]  His system finally stopped chattering, and something in his coding gave an almost audible crack as it snapped.

“Why would you tell me that?”

“Because you’ve already decided to help me.”  Cassian was grinning, grinning, and K-2SO was annoyed to find that he was right.  “What’s your designation?”

“K-2SO,” he said.  “And there is an 82.4% chance of our capture and mutual decommissioning.”  If he had been organic, he would have stuttered–he did not plan to say that.  Apparently that crack was the filter coding between his analytic systems and his vocoder.

Cassian shook his head.  “I don’t want to know, K-2.  Come on.”

Anonymous asked: Ooooh! I'd love to reas that fic when you write it. And the phrase is from a Conrad Aiken poem, jsyk.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, I’m totally going to write it someday.  Probably next year when I’m not in school full time.  (And also thank you for the source because???  Fuck me, that’s a gorgeous quote.)

Anonymous asked: Twisted By Simple Light

Maniacal cackling.  This would be/might actually someday be the title of the Fic We Shall Not Speak Of, previously discussed here.  I’m literally going to copy-paste because I’m so pleased with that summary.

Padme Naberrie-not-yet-Amidala is three when the Force comes to her, as strong as one of the great storms that close down all of Naboo, four when the Jedi turn her away for being too old, five when she begins teaching the Force to herself.

Surely emotion is not wicked at its core, young Padme says, surely not, and she reaches out, learns to shape the Force with her passions and her loves and her rages and her laughs, and it is warm and rich and wild and vicious and everything (and surely this cannot be the Dark Side).  

When she stands on the Tatooine sand and meets a boy who shines like a sun, some part of her mind (the part that’s seen people die because their vaunted politicians took too long to see them suffering, the part that’s seen wars start over petty arguments and diplomatic differences, the part that looks around Tattooine and thinks look at all these suffering people, if only I had the power to save them) says yesssss.  And she reaches out and she takes his hand and she stays in touch and she assures him that no, emotion is not wrong, love is not wrong, Attachment is not wrong, he is not wrong.  

One day…oh, one day he comes to her, wild-eyed, with the words of another person on his tongue and talk about Sith, and she does her research and she thinks look at all these suffering people, if only I had the power, and…

Well.  Padme only wants to help.  Surely the ends justify the means.  Surely this cannot be Dark, if it’s to save starving children and wounded soldiers and slaves.

And the Empire rises under the command of its Empress and her iron fist, Darth Vader.

yol-ande asked: Oh oh oh, I saw you ship Damerons, could you write something ridiculously fluffy with Finn being badass, while Rey and Poe are all starry-eyed over it? This fandom needs more Finn love. (And I need all of the fluff)

Okay I’m so sorry for the delay but HERE.  Also, bear with me, there is in fact some fluff here, but this kind of turned into a crash course in my favorite tropes, so the fluff is…at the end. We’ve got dramatic rescues!  We’ve got canon references!  We’ve got hurt/comfort after interrogation!  We’ve got the Damerons being stupid in love with each other!  We’ve got Rey being deadly as fuck even severely compromised!  We’ve got Finn the patron saint of revolution!  We’ve got disguises and drugs and sweary droids!  And eventually we’ve got fluff.  Also this is like…twelve pages, pushing 6K, I have no excuse.  I’ve also decided that Shinedown’s Cut The Cord is the new theme song for the Stormtrooper revolution.

Poe wasn’t sure how long they had been there—definitely days, but probably not more than a dozen. Probably.  It was hard to tell, with irregular ration schedules, and there were no other prisoners in their dark cell to ask.  The brig was far from the hull of the vast First Order battlecruiser, too, and although the impenetrable black wouldn’t have helped with timekeeping, he wished they could at least see the stars.

They didn’t seem interested in him, but they had taken Rey from him three times since they were first captured—all his injuries were from trying to keep them from taking her, against her direct orders.  The first time, she had walked, as graceful and serene as a dead moon, between the Stormtroopers.  She had been weak with the cuffs on her wrists, cutting her off from the Force, clean and crisp as a lightsaber slash, but she was strong.  They had returned her to him bruised and exhausted, wilted with it, and she had bared all her teeth at him proudly and snarled that they would never get answers out of her.  

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skymurdock asked: Star Wars/Star Trek? pls imagine Han and Jim having the weirdest friendly rivalry ever bc Han maintains the Millennium Falcon is the Best Ship and Jim maintains the Enterprise should have that honor.

littlestartopaz:

buckygreyjoy:

words-writ-in-starlight:

I just got out of Beyond last night and I am DRUNK on the Star Trek thing right now.  LET’S GO.  I did a little more with the crews than the ships but like.  Yeah.

• The thing about exploring space is that it’s big, but not infinite.  So sooner or later the final frontier pushes right up to the raggedy edge of a galaxy far far away.  Specifically, a ramshackle ship at the outermost edge of Republic space.  (They’re on a sort of ‘remember the good old days when the three of us plus Chewie and a couple droids were on the fucking run’ sort of trip.  Han doesn’t know why he’s doing this but sure, Leia, for old time’s sake, something like that, and Luke just looked at him and blinked and somehow the farmboy eyes still work on him after all this time.)  The Enterprise sees it on its radar and…well, to be completely honest, Spock takes one look at the readings and announces that there appears to be a ship in distress.  They go investigate—the Enterprise makes the Falcon look like a slightly haphazard guppy beside a sleek and shining whale, a sheer wall of matte white kissed with space dust.  (Inside the Falcon, everyone has a completely independent moment of holyfuckingkriff we’re going to war again before the polite text hail comes through and the ship translates the message.)

• Okay so…it turns out that Republic Standard and Federation Basic have basically nothing to do with each other, and the universal translators aren’t in the mood to translate an entirely foreign language.  The crew of the Falcon and the Enterprise away team spend a good long while cycling through every language they know (and with Uhura with them, that number is prodigious) before they figure out that there seems to be at least a degree of commonality between Bocce and Ferengi, and between an archaic Vulcan dialect that even Spock barely knows and an equally dated Naboo dialect that Leia knows a few scraps of and C-3PO knows a few more scraps of (Padmé believed in knowing her planet’s history).  They cobble together a pidgin that at least lets them introduce themselves while half the engineering team scrambles to clap together a translator.  (It takes two hours and Scotty is bursting with pride over the thing, which turns Basic into Standard and back again with no trouble at all.)

• First contact with a foreign Republic: pretty much par for the course for the Enterprise, and hey, they have a Senator of said Republic right there, so for Kirk and his crew this is going great.  They have a war hero, a general in the military, and a political figure on hand, in addition to a droid loaded with a massive amount of history and a soldier.  The Falcon’s crew is pretty much exactly the diplomatic cadre most planets send out to meet the Federation, so it doesn’t even occur to them that they’ve pretty much caught the Falcon with their pants down.  The Falcon isn’t a diplomatic vessel on the best of days, and even if it was, the Republic hasn’t made a business of making first contact with anyone in quite a long time. So when a clutch of various aliens—including humans, who aren’t so alien after all, and ain’t that a kick in the head, as Han says—in brightly colored uniforms introduces themselves as members of Star Fleet, representatives of something called the United Federation of Planets…that’s new.  Leia pushes Han out of the way with an elbow, and shuts Luke up with a glance, and does her best to look Senatorly and In Control.  

• By the end of a few hours’ meeting, there’s a tentative alliance drawn up and a friendship in place between Leia and Jim, who, Bones and Han agree, have bonded over being reckless idealists too stubbornly brave for their own health.  Spock interrogates Luke at length about the Force—fascinating, he pronounces at once—and is disappointed to find out that the Jedi have largely been wiped out will all their information.  (Luke, on the other hand, is a little dazed from the rapid-fire queries and thinks that, if all Vulcans are so emotionless, it’s probably for the best that the Jedi never met them, because can you imagine if that was the Jedi standard for emotional control.  Also, Luke is smarter than your average bantha, thanks, and knows a telepath when he sees one, so he makes a mental note to look into testing the Vulcans for Force-sensitivity, if he can figure out how the hell to do it.)  Uhura corners 3PO and commands him to start teaching her Republic Standard.  She makes terrifying progress, and also learns enough Shyriiwook to understand Chewbacca’s careful and kind farewell (C-3PO is in love, he’s never met someone so brilliant in his entire existence, he almost follows her home like a lost puppy).

• Regarding the ships: Jim is very polite about the Falcon because there’s just no point in being rude about other people’s ships when yours is so evidently the best in the universe—honestly, if Han tried to insult his ship, Jim’s response would be a blank expression and “Are you blind?  We can have Bones look at that.”  Han grumbles a bit, but he’s not an idiot, and the Falcon is a damn good ship, he mutters, even if she’s not flashy.  (It should be noted that, here, ‘not flashy’ means ‘occasionally unwilling to hit hyperspeed without some serious antics,’ which is kind of the equivalent of saying, about a car, that ‘not flashy’ means ‘hope you don’t want a second gear that works all the time.’)  So the two captains get along pretty well, because if there’s anyone that Han Don’t-Tell-Me-The-Odds Solo is going to click with, it’s Jim Rules-What-Rules Kirk. Scotty, on the other hand, is apoplectic the first time he hears Han compare the Falcon to the Enterprise.  That bucket of bolts!  Falling apart at the seams!  Compared to his lady!  The Falcon is unworthy to pass through her ion wake! Chekov sees the Chief of Engineering puff up and Jim shoots him a look, and Chekov claps a hand over Scotty’s mouth, towing him out of the room with Sulu.  Han’s back is turned and the nod Luke gives, to say nothing of the hidden smirk, suggests that he won’t be telling, so Jim has avoided, once more, starting a diplomatic incident because of Scotty’s determination to defend the Enterprise’s honor.  This is a fairly regular occurrence, and a large part of the reason that Scotty is on probation from diplomatic missions.

• Bonus sixth headcanon: Jim is the most fucking Force-sensitive.  They find this out because Luke, still half-trained and a bit prone to error, brushes a brief mental probe across his mind and gets thrown out with all the violence of hitting warp three from a dead halt.  Luke asks where his mental shields came from and Jim gives him a blank look and Luke has a moment of horrible revelation: he’s not only going to have to scrounge up some teaching ability, he’s going to have to comb an entire Federation for Force-sensitives. When the nav officer—Chekov—sees the look of appalled shock on his face and politely offers brandy, with the additional remark that the Captain can have that effect, Luke takes him up on it.
  

Luke does not know how he’s going to get around to DOING that - searching through a whole Federation and then teaching the people he finds to use the Force. Luke kind of wants to cry a little. (the Vulcans are - a whole ‘nother bag of Loth-cats that Luke is going to poke when he is SOBER, okay, but right now the brandy is calling his name.)

(years later, Jim has his very own lightsaber, not that he uses it very much outside of “glorified laser cutter”. he runs into Luke at a Federation-Republic thing and one thing led to another and they’re going to check out an ancient Jedi temple now - with a full expedition team by the Federation’s insistence bc they’re all about exploring new things and this is a New Thing and Luke does not actually mind - he is SO EXCITED, the nerd.)

Bones takes one look at the Millennium Falcon - held together by spit, duct tape, prayers and the Force - and immediately starts screaming internally. he can list about fifteen things off the top of his head that could happen to the inhabitants of this ship should this thing finally give out, and also ten viral diseases that this could possibly be carrying from its history of smuggling, how have any of you SURVIVED in this hunk of junk.

(“HEY,” yells Han, Offended.

“true,” says Leia, affectionately patting the walls.)

Artoo is having the time of his life onboard the Enterprise, by the way. Sulu walks in on him beeping away on the bridge, plugged into the console. is he having a conversation with the Enterprise? (he most definitely is.)

Luke eventually figures out a method to hash through Star Fleet for Jedi, and ends up with a surprising number. To his joy, they’re not all human (to his equal dismay, easily half are Vulcan). He ends up with a whole academy and is the Republic’s first diplomat who stays there out of necessity. But only for half a year. He reasons he needs to search for Jedi in his own galaxy as well.

Years later, Luke’s Federation personal apprentice becomes a full Jedi and takes over teaching at the Federation, so Luke can focus on the sudden influx of Republic Jedi students. Among them is one Ben Solo. And when Ben goes on a rampage, the Federation Jedi hear, because they just lost students from a cultural exchange. And the Federation is Pissed. Luke’s former Federation apprentice grabs Luke as soon as they can get there, and drags his depressed ass across the galaxy looking for Ben. They find him and arrest him and his storm troopers (and find Vader’s half melted helmet on a veritable alter, to which Luke is seriously disturbed) with permission from both the Federation and the Republic.

(He happened to be away from the main First Order ship he’s been apart of, much to the Republic’s dismay.)

Among the troopers with him is one who is so tired, an outcast despite being top of the class, and he defects willingly. His first partner in the Republic is one certain pilot who refuses to use his designation, instead dubs him “Finn.”

Luke’s not-apprentice refuses to leave Luke alone, makes arrangements, and moves in with him. Together they start a new comb of the galaxy for Jedi students, coming across one desert child sleeping in a fighter. And a certain missing ship. (“You want the trash?!” The apprentice laughs. The Flacon of notorious among Star Fleet because how is that little piece of junk so agile and a main ship used in the Republic’s rebellion. How.)

skymurdock asked: Star Wars/Star Trek? pls imagine Han and Jim having the weirdest friendly rivalry ever bc Han maintains the Millennium Falcon is the Best Ship and Jim maintains the Enterprise should have that honor.

I just got out of Beyond last night and I am DRUNK on the Star Trek thing right now.  LET’S GO.  I did a little more with the crews than the ships but like.  Yeah.

• The thing about exploring space is that it’s big, but not infinite.  So sooner or later the final frontier pushes right up to the raggedy edge of a galaxy far far away.  Specifically, a ramshackle ship at the outermost edge of Republic space.  (They’re on a sort of ‘remember the good old days when the three of us plus Chewie and a couple droids were on the fucking run’ sort of trip.  Han doesn’t know why he’s doing this but sure, Leia, for old time’s sake, something like that, and Luke just looked at him and blinked and somehow the farmboy eyes still work on him after all this time.)  The Enterprise sees it on its radar and…well, to be completely honest, Spock takes one look at the readings and announces that there appears to be a ship in distress.  They go investigate—the Enterprise makes the Falcon look like a slightly haphazard guppy beside a sleek and shining whale, a sheer wall of matte white kissed with space dust.  (Inside the Falcon, everyone has a completely independent moment of holyfuckingkriff we’re going to war again before the polite text hail comes through and the ship translates the message.)

• Okay so…it turns out that Republic Standard and Federation Basic have basically nothing to do with each other, and the universal translators aren’t in the mood to translate an entirely foreign language.  The crew of the Falcon and the Enterprise away team spend a good long while cycling through every language they know (and with Uhura with them, that number is prodigious) before they figure out that there seems to be at least a degree of commonality between Bocce and Ferengi, and between an archaic Vulcan dialect that even Spock barely knows and an equally dated Naboo dialect that Leia knows a few scraps of and C-3PO knows a few more scraps of (Padmé believed in knowing her planet’s history).  They cobble together a pidgin that at least lets them introduce themselves while half the engineering team scrambles to clap together a translator.  (It takes two hours and Scotty is bursting with pride over the thing, which turns Basic into Standard and back again with no trouble at all.)

• First contact with a foreign Republic: pretty much par for the course for the Enterprise, and hey, they have a Senator of said Republic right there, so for Kirk and his crew this is going great.  They have a war hero, a general in the military, and a political figure on hand, in addition to a droid loaded with a massive amount of history and a soldier.  The Falcon’s crew is pretty much exactly the diplomatic cadre most planets send out to meet the Federation, so it doesn’t even occur to them that they’ve pretty much caught the Falcon with their pants down.  The Falcon isn’t a diplomatic vessel on the best of days, and even if it was, the Republic hasn’t made a business of making first contact with anyone in quite a long time. So when a clutch of various aliens—including humans, who aren’t so alien after all, and ain’t that a kick in the head, as Han says—in brightly colored uniforms introduces themselves as members of Star Fleet, representatives of something called the United Federation of Planets…that’s new.  Leia pushes Han out of the way with an elbow, and shuts Luke up with a glance, and does her best to look Senatorly and In Control.  

• By the end of a few hours’ meeting, there’s a tentative alliance drawn up and a friendship in place between Leia and Jim, who, Bones and Han agree, have bonded over being reckless idealists too stubbornly brave for their own health.  Spock interrogates Luke at length about the Force—fascinating, he pronounces at once—and is disappointed to find out that the Jedi have largely been wiped out will all their information.  (Luke, on the other hand, is a little dazed from the rapid-fire queries and thinks that, if all Vulcans are so emotionless, it’s probably for the best that the Jedi never met them, because can you imagine if that was the Jedi standard for emotional control.  Also, Luke is smarter than your average bantha, thanks, and knows a telepath when he sees one, so he makes a mental note to look into testing the Vulcans for Force-sensitivity, if he can figure out how the hell to do it.)  Uhura corners 3PO and commands him to start teaching her Republic Standard.  She makes terrifying progress, and also learns enough Shyriiwook to understand Chewbacca’s careful and kind farewell (C-3PO is in love, he’s never met someone so brilliant in his entire existence, he almost follows her home like a lost puppy).

• Regarding the ships: Jim is very polite about the Falcon because there’s just no point in being rude about other people’s ships when yours is so evidently the best in the universe—honestly, if Han tried to insult his ship, Jim’s response would be a blank expression and “Are you blind?  We can have Bones look at that.”  Han grumbles a bit, but he’s not an idiot, and the Falcon is a damn good ship, he mutters, even if she’s not flashy.  (It should be noted that, here, ‘not flashy’ means ‘occasionally unwilling to hit hyperspeed without some serious antics,’ which is kind of the equivalent of saying, about a car, that ‘not flashy’ means ‘hope you don’t want a second gear that works all the time.’)  So the two captains get along pretty well, because if there’s anyone that Han Don’t-Tell-Me-The-Odds Solo is going to click with, it’s Jim Rules-What-Rules Kirk. Scotty, on the other hand, is apoplectic the first time he hears Han compare the Falcon to the Enterprise.  That bucket of bolts!  Falling apart at the seams!  Compared to his lady!  The Falcon is unworthy to pass through her ion wake! Chekov sees the Chief of Engineering puff up and Jim shoots him a look, and Chekov claps a hand over Scotty’s mouth, towing him out of the room with Sulu.  Han’s back is turned and the nod Luke gives, to say nothing of the hidden smirk, suggests that he won’t be telling, so Jim has avoided, once more, starting a diplomatic incident because of Scotty’s determination to defend the Enterprise’s honor.  This is a fairly regular occurrence, and a large part of the reason that Scotty is on probation from diplomatic missions.

• Bonus sixth headcanon: Jim is the most fucking Force-sensitive.  They find this out because Luke, still half-trained and a bit prone to error, brushes a brief mental probe across his mind and gets thrown out with all the violence of hitting warp three from a dead halt.  Luke asks where his mental shields came from and Jim gives him a blank look and Luke has a moment of horrible revelation: he’s not only going to have to scrounge up some teaching ability, he’s going to have to comb an entire Federation for Force-sensitives. When the nav officer—Chekov—sees the look of appalled shock on his face and politely offers brandy, with the additional remark that the Captain can have that effect, Luke takes him up on it.