Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

Anonymous asked: Top 5 headcanons, preferably Stevebucky related but really any marvel ones actually :)

drop-deaddream-deactivated20160:

1. Steven Grant “Old Man” Rogers (“Well golly gee,” he bitches, deadpan)

2. Steve & Nat having to share warmth on some kind of cold weather mission (please take a moment to picture Tasha curled up and huddled in his huge man arms because they’re best friends I’m dying) 

3. Actual New Yorker Steve Rogers. Occasional rage when driving an actual car. Yelling at cabs when they almost run him over and/or splash water in his direction. (“WHADDAYA DOIN, HUH? JESUS!”) Pastrami on rye. If the cheesecake isn’t six inches tall it isn’t a goddamn cheesecake. Balking at Chicago style pizza, which he actually may not have known about, considering it was first made when he was at war. Super nice to tourists. Super disgusted when Stark plans a weekend at the Shore. And finally, Food Trucks: The Autobiography Of an American Hero. 

4. Steve actually acting his age, re: sitting somewhere bored with his chin propped on his hand and messing with filters on insta, one shameful post-gym selfie at a time. Sometimes he ends up slouched in a chair, texting, oblivious to everything else. On this note, Steve fitting in DISTURBINGLY WELL with the current population of like 60% of Brooklyn, that is to say, hipster humanities majors  

5. Steve Rogers actually speaking the way an asshole kid raised in Brooklyn in the early/mid 20th century who then graduated to the Army would speak (stubbing his toe getting food in the middle of the night, like, “Jesus motherfucking Christ, fuck me, fuck”)

6. For that matter, Bucky talking that way (“What the fuck is this?” he demands, staring horrorstruck at the deep dish pizza in front of him. “What the shit is this, asshole?”)

There are going to be ten, I’m sorry

7. Natasha paints her toenails purple and her feet are always cold and every time she’s on the couch w/Clint she shoves her feet under his thighs

8. Steve listens to Turn Down For What literally a disturbing amount of times a day

9. Bucky missed Sinatra by one year and promptly falls head over heels for his voice in a totally no homo way and plays his music nonstop and hums it when he’s in the field

10. My absolute favorite headcanon, mostly because it’s 100% going to BE canon, is that everyone just thinks Steve and Bucky are incredibly fucking weird. And it’s not really because of the trauma or the fact that they’re collectively over 200 years old or any of that. It’s the fact that they’re fucking weird. Sometimes they just stare at each other. They literally just stare at each other, for like, hours. Sometimes Steve has to look away dramatically and blink back man tears. Are they telepathic? Is that it? Sam doesn’t have time for this. And they’re weirdly violent for each other. It’s creepy. Tony wonders what they get each other for holidays, and then decides to stop thinking about it. It’s probably the still-beating hearts of Hydra operatives.

shanology:

assetandmission:

Steve’s line of “I don’t think I can afford a place in Brooklyn” concerns me.

He’s Captain America and he can’t afford an apartment in Brooklyn?! Does he not get a salary? Are any of the Avengers being paid since SHIELD’s downfall? Are they all worried about making their rent each month?! Is Steve doing commencement speeches for extra cash? Is Natasha doing some spy-work on the side? Do they save the world by day and carefully plan their grocery budget at night?!? 

Steve spent it all on that Gucci suit he’s wearing for the funeral scene of Civil War.

Seriously though, someone needs to write that fanfic - the Avengers and their side jobs. Natasha’s teaching women’s self-defense classes down at the local YMCA, Steve gets a job at Barnes and Noble so he can read all the books on his breaks, meanwhile:

*Clint’s Avengers communication devise buzzes*

Clint: “Tony, hang on a sec” 

muffled in the background: “with pepperoni, anchovies, and extra cheese”

Tony: “Clint, are you working at Pizza Hut?”

Clint: “Free pizza, Tony. Free. Pizza.”

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

beautifullyheeled:

elementalsight:

babblingbug:

crotchgunsamurai:

osointricate:

thispersonisillogical:

osointricate:

thispersonisillogical:

osointricate:

thispersonisillogical:

Vocally political and liberal Steve Rogers

Fox News has no idea how to handle it because he’s Captain America and he’s literally from the 40’s like how do that handle that

He refuses to go on half of the news shows because they lie

Mostly ends up on the Daily Show, the Colbert Report, and the Young Turks

Starts charities that focus on kids and the poor

Donations to veterans charities go through the roof

Treatment for PTSD in veterans suddenly gets addressed after he admits to being diagnosised with it

Steve Rogers starting a twitter specifically for linking people to horrible news stories and calling news stations out on their lies and scare tactics 

Using his twitter to complain about the state of public news and how it should be a space of change and value and honesty for the American public, and how he’s so ashamed of it all

He accidentally becomes like public face for the new generation of politically savvy people

They make of shirts like WWCD “what would Cap do?”

Tony is thrilled and proud and hires of team of lawyers exclusively to handle the news stations screaming about Steve

Fox news gets slapped with so many libel fines and law suits

Going on a show and regretting it the moment an offensive question or comment comes up and decides he’s completely done and just tears the interviewer a new one.  It goes viral.  

The public face thing is just the start.  It starts this whole new wave of people that shut down offensive shit during interviews and holding their own.

There is a short time period once he turns 35 where there is a rally cry of “Captain America for President” that he gracefully turns down.

But politicians starting courting him, trying to get him to publicly state that they support him because his influence is just so massive, and they keep getting shut down hard

Talks about growing up in the depression when people bring up financial issues - says things like “With all due respect, ma’am, what others may remember as being over 80 years ago was less then 5 ago to me. Things were supposed to get better. Those issues we thought we fixed were supposed to go away - we were supposed to work to a future where it was gone - and instead it seems to be worse then ever.”

And of course he’s a raging feminist and is absolutely appalled when Natasha tells him about rape statistics

Bruce takes a lot of time to fully educate him about the social and medical side of abortions, teaches him about the various birth defects and medical issues the mothers can face, shows him the demographic information of access and need, and Steve is horrified by that too

Then Tony walks him through gay rights and other LGBTQ issues, all of them helping him understand how sexuality can manifest differently and the difference between sex and gender identity

Steve just REAL FUCKIN DONE with everything.

Angrily stands in protest rallies and dares people to start something with peaceful protesters.  Just DARES them.

Rolls his eyes at baby boomer articles about the newer generations.  He’s heard that mess before.  He’s done with it.

Understanding people have problems with medical bills, having been there himself.

Fucking standing up for single mothers becaUSE LIKE WHOA THAT’S HIS MOTHER YOU JUST DISSED.

Steve Rogers hating bullies.  Hates that kids are actually KILLING THEMSELVES because of bullying and people are just “oh boys will be boys” about it and he’s just LIVID. 

I would go into debt to read this comic. This is what Captain America should be. This is what America should be.

cries i want to embrace this post forever

Peaceful protests staying peaceful because when the cops try to start something it doesn’t matter how many of them there are, Steve’s there and he will shut them down, but more than that: Steve gets pepper sprayed. Steve gets chemical burns. Steve on shaky iphone video blind and disoriented and still using his body to protect others as the cops close in. And suddenly the heroes who stay back because they don’t want to get involved - because they shouldn’t use their powers ‘like that’ start showing up in droves.

Peter gumming up the smoke and pepper bombs before they go off. Thor becoming a one man blockade. Natasha working with organizers to help plan for escapes if things do go badly. Tony’s not only keeping Cap up to date - he’s putting considerable money behind the political candidates who will actually work to improve things, because we all know you need money to represent at the polls. They’re not there attacking the police - even if the officers are being assholes, they understand they have a job to do and often bad orders - but they will protect the protesters who have done nothing but show up.

And the more they do, the more heroes join in. Because it’s not just about using your powers against the mighty evil empire Strexx or taking down some guy calling himself the Boomerang. It’s about making sure you want to keep living in the world you keep saving.

ALL OF THIS.

(Source: thispersonisillogical-blog, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

now I’m just thinking about Steve Rogers, 21st century pain in the ass

shamwowxl:

Wandering around New York City PISSED because there are all of these empty luxury apartments in a city with such a high homeless population. He just starts tearing down doors and ushering people inside (and then repairing the doors because whoops he did not think that through)

Every time a reporter tries to ask Natasha who does her hair he interrupts her snarky response with I DO

Getting dragged into tv interviews and getting weird questions he’s not really qualified to answer until finally someone asks him what he thinks the founding fathers would have to say about net neutrality and he just says “I don’t give a fuck what they’ve have to say” before this impassioned speech about freedom and information equality that everyone is too afraid to interrupt

Literally dropping everything to show up in Ferguson. Like, thanks police department for all your hard work but you can go home now because the people have spoken and they’d like you all to retire early Captain America’s got this covered

He does not tell the Avengers

He does not tell Fury

He leaves a note for Bucky but like it’s really vague “ttyl gotta go school some haters” and Bucky has no idea what that’s supposed to mean because Steve basically COLLECTS HATERS LIKE THEY’RE POKEMON

Speaking of haters remember that time in Iron Man 3 where Tony gave out his home address and basically told a terrorist to come find him? That’s not good enough for Steve. Nope. He adopts one of those army dogs with the titanium teeth and just starts jumping out of planes and knocking on doors like “hello have you accepted Steven Grant Rogers as your ass-kicking savior?” like this is a weekly occurrence. Arms dealers, the leaders of drug cartels, human traffickers, he just keeps finding things to get pissed about.

Because he doesn’t like bullies. 

Like everyone in the tower sits him down and they have an intervention for him and he promises to find his chill

Starts doing Sesame Street appearances and everything seems normal

And then he disappears on a rampage and resurfaces on the news standing at the protest lines of an abortion clinic escorting women inside and covering their faces with his shield

He probably comes across Coulson at one point and he’s not even surprised he’s just like accepted the fact that nobody stays dead anymore like he’s honestly expecting to punch real hitler in the real face one of these days

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

mooglemisbehaving:

chinesedannyrand:

bonitabreezy:

likeatreebesidetheriver:

but can we consider that Rhodey does, in fact, outrank Steve Rogers? 

now picture rhodey meeting steve and steve snapping a salute

that is all

and Rhodey would be totally serious about it until the second Steve walked out of the room and then he’d totally turn and look at Tony with crazy eyes and Tony would be like “JARVIS TOOK PICTURES FROM EVERY ANGLE YOU’RE WELCOME”

#Tony: Steve this is Colonel… What the fuck are you doing? #I said Colonel as a joke this is my friend Rhodey #Rhodey from MIT #Why the fuck are you acting like #Oh shit #Rhodey tell him to stand on his head #Come on Rhodey he’s your subordinate #make /Captain/ America stand on his head

“Captain?”

“Yes, Colonel.”

“…Your orders are to stand Tony Stark on his head.”

“Yes sir!”

“-HEY”

(via johanirae)

chinesedannyrand:

bonitabreezy:

likeatreebesidetheriver:

but can we consider that Rhodey does, in fact, outrank Steve Rogers? 

now picture rhodey meeting steve and steve snapping a salute

that is all

and Rhodey would be totally serious about it until the second Steve walked out of the room and then he’d totally turn and look at Tony with crazy eyes and Tony would be like “JARVIS TOOK PICTURES FROM EVERY ANGLE YOU’RE WELCOME”

#Tony: Steve this is Colonel… What the fuck are you doing? #I said Colonel as a joke this is my friend Rhodey #Rhodey from MIT #Why the fuck are you acting like #Oh shit #Rhodey tell him to stand on his head #Come on Rhodey he’s your subordinate #make /Captain/ America stand on his head

(via johanirae)

spitandvinegar:

open-sketchbook:

spitandvinegar:

Ok so we all know that the answer to “Where did Captain America learn to steal a car?” is “Nazi Germany” but I think the more pressing question here is when the fuck did this complete maniac get a driver’s license

Because ok, Mighty Mouse 1.0 is too poor to own a car, too short to reach the pedals, has vision problems, and is a goddamn New Yorker in the motherfucking 1930s, why on earth would he ever have learned to drive?

So this little bastard can’t even tell the gas from the brakes, he gets all beefified, he goes on tour with the USO. Unless one of the showgirls coached him through stalling out a car all over some Hollywood back lot, he still can’t drive. He goes to Europe. At some point, some genius looks at him and thinks “this strapping specimen of American hunkhood obviously knows his way around a vehicle, let’s give him a motorcycle,” and Steve “no parachute” Rogers is like “how hard could this be?” and promptly wraps himself around approximately eight trees at the same time.

So then he’s kickin’ ass, fightin’ Hydra, and it’s just months of Bucky being like “give me the goddamn keys, Steven,” and Dum Dum and Morita endlessly encouraging his fucking insane Fury Road bullshit, like the Howling Commandos just use “grenade” as code for “Rogers” when they’re reporting why yet another truck has been destroyed beyond recognition. Yes, sir, another grenade, I agree, sir, it’s very odd that we keep losing vehicles in the same way, that’s the third this month alone

So then he’s in the future and SHIELD is sorting his shit out, and they’re not going to force Captain goddamn America to wait in line at the DMV, they’re all in complete awe in him and they’ve seen the old reels of him on his bike, so when they issue him his driver’s license without any type of road test they go ahead and give him a motorcycle license too

and steve is like …neat.

Ok so then Bucky is back, shit is settled down, everyone’s heading somewhere and Steve gets in the driver’s seat and Buck’s like WHOA WHOA WHOA are you people out of your goddamn minds?! Why is Steve driving, is this some kind of mission, are we heading into a combat zone, is the plan for the vehicle to get blown up?? GIVE ME THE GODDAMN KEYS STEVEN

And Sam is all “what are you talking about, Steve’s a great driver, I saw him jump his bike over a car once”

And Buck is all “yes but have you seen him use a turn signal?”

And Steve’s like, “Listen, we never needed to ‘signal’ our ‘turns’ in Nazi Germany.”

And after that Bucky always drives.

Fin.

okay but

this is basically how just about everyone in the us army in ww2 learned to drive

most infantrymen didn’t receive any instruction in vehicle use, but during ww2 they shipped about half a million jeeps overseas. most of them got used by logistics units and a lot got shipped to russia, but there were still so dang many of them that they would hand them to just about anyone who could have an excuse to use one.

gotta run a message? here’s a jeep. running gear up the line? take a jeep. got a 24 hour pass? just bring this jeep back safe, will you? you’re a cartoonist? here’s your own jeep. they handed them out like candy to everyone.

it wasn’t unreasonable on the face of it because the us was a car culture basically from the minute the car was invented, so most rural kids knew how to drive already. but tons of them didn’t, and at some point they’d almost certainly end up behind the wheel of a jeep.

as a result, accidents were hilariously common.

they pretty much assumed everyone knew how to drive based on the exact same logic used in this post. it was only after the war that somebody sat down and was like, yo, maybe we should make sure these kids know what a car is before we let them drive them.

I ACCIDENTALLY A HISTORY

(via bronzedragon)