Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

teaboot:

teaboot:

mjalti:

why come they called him “beast” in the castle when everyone knew his name cuz they’d been working for him forever anyway? like …. i would just be like “hey chewbacca-Adam” or some shit, there’s no reason to call him beast … id hide in my room all day too if my employees started making fun of me..

If my manager decided to pull some rude ass shit with a witch and got me living the next ten years of my life as an immortal singing toaster oven you can bet your ass I’d wake him up every goddamn morning with a flaming panini directly to the face. rise and shine, you ugly fuck, time hear a song

I call this one, “ode to an inconsiderate pissbaby” and the first 9 verses are just me screaming at various decibels

(via fandom-adoration)

Anonymous asked: how did u beat all ten dragons??

ohmygoku:

ok, so first, you bring dorian, cassandra, and your choice of rogue. if you’re a mage.

if youre a rogue, bring cassandra dorian and maybe another mage or rogue???? a ranged rogue if u are not

if u r a warrior, bring cassandra, u, maybe varric/sera?? and dorian.

okay, then just go full rambo on it. no mercy and when youre about to die, you say its a good day to die hard, and you just keep hitting the shit out of it’s arm so it limps around like it stubbed its toe

ok and then you will die.

you will die, regardless of class, but one will remain

cassandra

im being 100% fucking serious cassandra will not die. u can take all the vitamin gummies u want it doesnt fucking matter, because you will die, but she eat nails for breakfast she will survive

cassandra will fucking wrap a blood-soaked bandage around her head, and use dragon’s blood as her war paint and scream every five seconds and have her guard all the way up and she will scowl and glare the dragon to death

and youre probably thinking, “ok, but the dragon is at half health or ¾ health, jo, there is no fuckin way”

ok first off, dont talk back to me, second off, cassandra pentaghast comes from a hardass family of unforgiving dragon hunters who bathe in dragon blood prbably and im half-convinced cassandra has found the key to immortality bc she does not die. i s2g she has killed over half of the dragons i faced all by her goddamn self and i dont hear a single word of it later, she just shrugs cause MAYBE she got a splinter in her finger, but she literally doesnt give a fuck, if that dragon bites her she will bite it back, she doesnt care she will climb that dragon and stab her sword confidently into it like she is claiming a goddamn logging stand and she will not give half a shit