• spanish and italian: So THESE words are feminine and THESE words are masculine, and you ALWAYS put an adjective AFTER the noun.
  • french: haha i dont fuckin know man just do whatever
  • german: Oberweserdampfschifffahrtsgesellschaftskapitänsmützenabzeichenpoliermittelkanisterdeckelherstellungsverbandsvorsitzendenausweishüllenschneidemaschinenmotorwartungsplanaktualisierungsbeauftragtenzertifikatsausstellungsbehördenbeamtenkrawattenknotenbindeanleitungsautorenbürocomputertastaturanschlusskabelumhüllungsreparaturdienstfahrzeugsvorderreifengummibeschichtungsfabrikgebäudeheizungsrohrverlegungsmechanikerwerkzeugkastenverschlussklappensicherungsschlossfunktionstestverantwortlichenprüfungsfragebogenfragenentwicklerqualifikationsurkundendruckentintenpatronennachfüllpaketbestellformularankreuzkästchendesignerausbildung
  • english: *shooting up in the bathroom*
  • gaelic: the pronounciation changes depending on the gender and what letter the word starts and ends with and hahah i dont even know good fucking luck
  • polish: here have all of these consonants have fun
  • japanese: subject article noun article verb. too bad there's three fucking alphabets lmao hope your first language isn't western
  • welsh: sneeze, and chances are you've got it right. idfk
  • chinese: here's a picture. draw it. it means something. it can be pronounced four different ways. these twenty other pictures are pronounced the same but have very different meanings. godspeed.
  • arabic: so here's this one word. it actually translates to three words. also pronouns don't really exist. the gender is all in the verb. have fun!
  • latin: here memorize 500 charts and then you still dont know what the fuck is happening
  • sign language: If you move this sign by a tenth of an inch, you'll be signing "penis"
  • russian: idk man its pronounced like its spelt but good fucking luck spelling it
  • Greek: so basically we're going to add 15 syllables to every word you know and assign it one of 3 genders at random. Also good luck figuring out where to put the accents you piece of shit
  • czech: so there is a word. there are 14 fucking forms of that word. also there are actually 42 forms. and here's a verb. there are actually only 3 tenses but who am i kidding, there is more and i don't even fucking know how many. the verb changes depending on one's gender. also you can change verb into a noun. that noun has its own gender. you can change any word into a noun and that noun will have its own fucking gender because who cares, only 10 million people can speak with it. also you have to inflect all words. adjectives. names. pronouns. idefk. when you call someone, you fucking have to inflect that name. we also have a letter that almost no foreigner can pronounce. and good luck, even we don't friggin know how to write. also you can say a completely innocent sentence and it could be understood sexually because our slang doesn't fucking make sense. good fucking luck fuckers.
  • azerbaijanian: we ain't got any gender conception but you have at least 4256234523 different suffixes that you should add to every word and get it right in order make any sense. it can be double, triple or even more and you should get the right order and adjust it to the last vowel of your word. you should also re-learn the latin alphabet with a different pronunciation + additionally "ə, ğ, ı, ö, ü" in order to be able to speak.

Tags: linguistics this is...all totally accurate as far as I know