Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

katy-l-wood:

You know, in all those “humans are the creepy/fucked up alien species” posts I can’t believe we haven’t touched on organ donation yet. 

 When they heard that the human general had fallen ill to a disease of the organ known as the liver the troops began to hope that it might turn the tide of the war. Research indicated that such diseases could be fatal after all. The organ did something similar to the flagulaxin in that it filtered out toxins so when it stopped functioning the human would slowly be poisoned to death by his own body. Or so they believed.

But then he came back.

A foot soldier was captured and answers demanded. Was it a medication? Had the sickeness been a ruse to fool them?

“Nah, man. This kid on a motorcycle wiped out on the I9 freeway so they gave the general his liver since they were a match.”

“They…what?”

“They gave him his liver. The kid was dead, and he was an organ donor. And he was a genetic match to the general.”

“They…cut the liver out of one of your young and placed it in an elder and it…worked?”

“I mean, he wasn’t that young. Mid twenties or something. But yeah, that’s essentially it.”

The interrogator and his assistant both regurgitated their most recent meal and ran from the room. Living in places like the “Australia” were one thing, but taking the organs of dead bodies and placing them in the living? What was WRONG with this species?

(via windbladess)

Digital Intimacy

mortalityplays:

• knowing when your friend is out of the house, because their phone capitalises their messages
• noticing they’re down because that was the wrong emoticon
• lol vs lmao vs hahaha vs ahaha
  
• subtly wrapping your schedule around the edges of timezones on the other side of the world
• conversations that play out over a week because you’re both perpetually idle but you want to know how they’re doing
• not being able to wake up for an alarm, but leaping halfway across the house for the message alert you’ve been waiting for
  
• talking to the same person about different topics in three conversations simultaneously
• knowing when your friends have been spending time together because they start to type alike 
• watching them start and stop typing over and over and not interrupting, because this must be important
  

(via punkrockpatroclus)

Anonymous asked: picture this: an underestimated finn rescuing rey and poe. people in the resistance would focus more on how nice and helpful and head over heels for rey and poe he is, not on how deadly he actually this. so when the last jedi and the commander of black squadron are kidnapped, no one thinks about finn until he's vanished. and he returns a few days later going "yeah i saved them. btw, here's all the data on their networks. i killed all the soldiers, so i hope this is enough."

suzukiblu:

Leia is so proud. Everyone else in the Resistance is half-terrified and half in shock (aside from Rey and Poe who are both just like “yup this is pretty SOP for being in enemy hands when Finn does not want us in enemy hands, not new territory here”), but Leia is just SO PROUD. 

Somewhere Phasma is surveying the carnage and is S U F F E R I N G. She could’ve had that soldier. Did she really just have to keep that idiot Slip alive and encourage Nines and Zeroes to fraternize a bit and she could’ve kept that soldier? REALLY, WAS THAT ALL IT WOULD’VE TAKEN TO GET RESULTS LIKE THESE ON THEIR SIDE?? BECAUSE SHE WOULD’VE DONE THAT, FOR RESULTS LIKE THESE. 

Hux shows up all baffled and pissed off like “wtf happened HERE” and Phasma is just like “I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT”. 

audsbot:

thewinterotter:

dominawritesthings:

rainnecassidy:

sinfullucifer:

the-negotiator:

sinfullucifer:

generallyhuxurious:

sinfullucifer:

tinfoil-on-the-windows:

sinfullucifer:

tinfoil-on-the-windows:

sinfullucifer:

actualtrashbag:

sinfullucifer:

so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count

holy f uck jane

its a serious question

well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.

new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing

no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.

you gotta digest it.

so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?

huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?

Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”

“you what now”

i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic

now that u said it im really surprised as well

what the fuck did i just read

Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?

I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.

I’m not convinced by this, actually!

Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”

But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:

• “I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”
  
• “You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”
  
• “You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”
  

Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.

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The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.

(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)

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Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.

And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”

Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years. 

(Source: coffeetwosugars, via fireflyca)