Anonymous asked: so i'm assuming that all the reincarnated ham crew look like their musical actors, which, awesome. but i was thinking about jefferson, who was a racist fucker being reincarnated as a black man. like. how would that even go down?

*emerges from cave, shamefaced* Right, so, does anyone remember that this AU exists?  Because I swear to God I didn’t forget, I just only now have had the time.  I actually have a bunch of prompts for it, not all of them are going to get written based on…like…my inspiration level, but also this series is alive again, so like.  Yep.  Here is some Jefferson.  Full disclosure, I dislike Jefferson and think his economic plan was some racist bullshit, so…that is evident.

To all you newcomers, I do recommend reading the other stuff, even if you could probably figure it out.  

All In One Spot AU

So, the academic affairs office holds out longer than their predecessor.  Not by much, but by a little.  It takes two full weeks for Alex to hammer through his petition to be allowed to take more than max credits—and it’s quite a petition.  Angelica takes one look at the twenty-page, double-sided, single-spaced letter to the dean of academics and disavows any involvement, and John grins fondly, remarking that the dean has no idea what he’s gotten into.

The dean, incidentally, has lived his life with pleasantly dim memories of Philedelphia with cobblestone streets and a vague impression that he knows the unfortunate teacher annually strong-armed into teaching History of the American Revolution.  He recalls very little else of his time in the Continental Congress—indeed, at gunpoint he couldn’t have identified what exactly he was doing, back then.

He has a blindingly vivid flashback upon looking at the first page of the letter—the pamphlet, really—and immediately feeds the entire thing through his shredder.

“Jake,” he says, sticking his head out of his office to look at his secretary.

“Yes, sir?”

“Approve whatever Hamilton’s request was before he sends anymore letters.  I’ve seen enough for several lifetimes.”

“You got it, boss,” says Jake, whose past life was a blissfully unremarkable farmer in the Italian countryside and who therefore has no idea that his boss is sparing them all a lot of trouble.

Now, the reason this matters is because Alex walks into his Econ 101 class for the first time two weeks into the semester, takes one look at the lesson outline the grad student wrote on the board, and makes a sound of absolute incoherent horror.

“Oh my god,” Alex says faintly, frozen in place two steps inside the door.  He was never an especially religious person, but he’s wondering if maybe the universe is punishing him for past crimes.  He’s not saying one way or the other if he deserves it, but this seems excessive.  “Jefferson is haunting me from beyond the grave.”

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Anonymous asked: Why is Thomas Jefferson getting a ton of heat lately? He's my problematic fav

falsedetective:

holdmeclosertinydancy:

falsedetective:

i mean, lately, it’s presumably because the hit broadway musical hamilton is out there reminding everyone that tjeff was The Worst. but i’m gonna take this opportunity to give you a run-down of every historic reason why tjeff was The Worst

  1. i could end the list at “slave owner”
  2. furthermore, he was even more racist than most 18th century racists. i don’t have the time or energy to list all the racists things he did, but there are a lot, just google it
  3. like when his pal tadeusz kosciuszko died he stipulated that the money from his american estate should be used to free and educate jefferson’s slaves and in response he was like. “i can’t read suddenly. i don’t know”
  4. he was a huge hypocrite who claimed to support the ~small independent farmers when the only interests he really cared about looking out for were - you guessed it - the interests of wealthy plantation owners, which is probably his biggest contribution to the legacy of american politics tbh
  5. also, remember how he wrote the declaration of independence - including the original draft where he waxed philosophical about how slavery is an abomination - even though #1-3
  6. sally hemings
  7. he had no idea how the economy works. a good deal of his political career was spent arguing with the federalists about why taxes are bad and banks are scary. one time he tried to ban exports, like, entirely, because he just didn’t foresee any negative consequences to that brilliant idea, apparently
  8. he was a generally obnoxious person who not only spewed baseless accusations against his enemies every time he was challenged on all his horrible ideology, but he didn’t even have the balls to do it himself, he usually employed a whole gang of followers to do his public shit-talking for him
  9. he actually kept a burn book where he collected rumors about people he didn’t like. i wish i was making this up lmao this actually happened!!!
  10. a big fan of indian removal and/or forced assimilation
  11. there’s gotta be a lot else i’m forgetting right now, i’m just thinking off the top of my head

basically he sat around at monticello spinning around in his swivel chair while his slave-concubine brought him bowl after bowl of mac and cheese, meditating on liberty and equality with so much moral myopia he could’ve been the antihero protagonist of an amc prestige drama

i’m too tired to source any of this hate right now but i can and will elaborate if anyone deems it necessary

im gonna need a source on the mac and cheese

tj loved mac and cheese so much that he had a macaroni machine shipped over from naples. he often served mac and cheese to his dinner guests, some of whom called it “very strong and not agreeable“ because this man can’t even do mac and cheese right