amusewithaview:
“quinfirefrorefiddle:
“eeddis:
“ adhighdefinition:
“filed under: things I wish I had known earlier but are quite obvious when you think about it
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One thing this doesn’t mention that I know I have problems with is the executive...

amusewithaview:

quinfirefrorefiddle:

eeddis:

adhighdefinition:

filed under: things I wish I had known earlier but are quite obvious when you think about it

One thing this doesn’t mention that I know I have problems with is the executive function involved in going to bed.  It takes so much organization to stop whatever task you’re working on, change into PJs, wash your face, brush your teeth, etc.  So not only am I lying in bed Thinking™ for an hour, I’m doing that late at night because it took ages to cajole myself into getting ready for bed.

But how do you FIX IT?

HOLY SHIT SOMETHING I ACTUALLY HAVE ADVICE ON FOR ONCE! I have ADHD and depression and have Much Experience with the no sleep and/or fucked up sleep things.

I would love to advise on the executive dysfunction of Trying to Get Ready for Bed but frankly I suck at that part BUT! THE OTHER PART!

There are two different things I will do if I absolutely need to sleep and my brain is just not having it:

1) find a relatively comfortable position where nothing will go all pins and needles for a few hours and just… don’t move. It sounds so much easier than it is, but seriously, do whatever breathing or focusing techniques you need but just DO NOT MOVE. I read somewhere once that of you can hold completely still for fifteen minutes you can trick your body into thinking its sleepy time. In my experience this can really work.

2) This kind of follows/goes hand in hand with one and is almost more of a meditation/focusing technique? When you’re lying in bed, after you have found the aforementioned semi comfortable position, start at your toes, end at your head and just focus on relaxing each muscle or muscle group one by one. I like to do feet, calves, thighs, abdomen, upper chest, shoulders, arms, neck - and then start at the feet again. Just focus on breathing deeply and evenly and on each exhale try and relax a muscle group.

I am also a big “write stories in my head while trying to fall asleep” person but I know not everyone can or wants to do that. Hopefully those two suggestions up above will help someone.

Wait, ‘intrusive sleep’ is a thing? That feeling of “I am literally blacking out right now and I couldn’t stop it if my life depended on it” when you’re bored is A THING?

CAN I JUST GET A LIST OF THINGS THAT ARE NOT ME BEING A FUCKUP?

(via amusewithaview)

stele3:

get-your-ass-in-the-impala:

ofgeography:

actualginnyweasley:

i was at a grocery store really late one night and some old guy kind of eyed me as i walked out of the store next to this other lady. She and I made eye contact and i knew she was scared too. we loaded up our groceries into our cars as fast as possible and I had way more bags than her so she got done faster than me. I panicked because i was sure she was going to leave so i just hurried faster, shaking a little, and then i noticed she sat in her car, watching me and making sure nobody came near. She waited not until all my groceries were loaded, or until my cart was put away, or until I got into my car. No, she didn’t drive away until I drove away. 

And that was the moment that I realized how much women need other women. That we can’t win this war without each other and we have to be looking out for each other, every second. 

my last year in new york city, i got off the subway around 9 or 10p.m. i only lived about 5 blocks from the f train, but i hadn’t gotten more than two before a woman’s hand suddenly touched my arm. 

“that guy behind us is following you,” she said. “he was watching you leave the train car and followed you up.”

i hadn’t noticed him, or at least not noticed him following me. when we stopped outside a grocery store, he stopped half a block back and loitered. the woman linked her arm with mine and walked me several blocks out of her way to my front door and made sure i got inside safely.

another time, nocigar and i were walking home and at a stoplight a stranger grabbed my arm when i wouldn’t respond to him and tried to physically drag me over to him. she—who is, by the way, not a very physically imposing girl—ripped his hand off my arm and snarled, “don’t fucking touch her.”

protect your friends. protect strangers. there are good men in the world, but don’t wait for them to do something if you can do it yourself.

I was at a club once and my friend left with her boyfriend so I finished my drink and was heading out to the parking lot when three girls came up to me and basically surrounded me. 

“Those guys behind us were talking about following you. We can walk with you.” 

I have MMA training but have never in my life had been offered the protection and sanction of my own gender. This is so important. 

GIRL CODE. FUCKIN’ GIRL CODE. LEAVE NO GIRL BEHIND. EVER.

I have been the girl left behind, more than once, and it’s a nasty, nasty experience that will destroy your trust in people, even if you can take care of yourself.  I make it an absolute policy to never leave someone to the mercy of whatever shit is going down if I can help it.

(Source: goths7, via n-haught)

queeraang:

the funniest thing to me about the whole “no one talks to each other because of smartphones/technology/etc” argument is that ppl totally still talk to each other?

i can hang out with friends for hours without checking my phone, or i’m using my phone to show the homies pictures and videos and articles that i think they’d like.

like hate to break it to you, but if someone’s on their phone instead of talking to you it’s cause they don’t wanna talk to you. probably cause you’re fucking terrible & likely use the word “millennialls” derisively and there’s someone 2 timezones away they’d rather chat with

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

It’s actually a little scary sometimes to hear cis straight people talk about how ~hard~ or ~impossible~ LGBTQ+ characters would be to write into their stories.

fandomsandfeminism:

xsexycrazymofosx:

fandomsandfeminism:

xsexycrazymofosx:

fandomsandfeminism:

xsexycrazymofosx:

nationalistjack:

fandomsandfeminism:

Like, the topic of LGBTQ+ representation comes up and you get responses like this:


“How could I ever write this character without them coming off as incredibly phony? I spent all the research and effort I could just to write for lesbians and I already had to make conceits for them not working the same way in my particular book-world; as a cis white guy, if I have to go further than that then I’m just pulling it out of thin air! Nobody’s going to respect it, least of all me.” 

And “You ask a cis, heterosexual white female to write something she probably had no clue about” … “you have to try understand that not everyone knows how to write trans and gay people.” 

(And yes, these are real, actual, word for word quotes)

and I’m just like…

We aren’t aliens? We’re people? Like normal, regular people?

Like, why is acknowledging the fact that we exist some difficult, herculean chore for cis straight people? Where does this bizarre lack of empathy and inability to see us as human come from? 

Like, I’m bi. But amazingly, I’m able to write CIS STRAIGHT characters just fine. It’s not a problem for me? I don’t find cis straight people to be some unreadable otherworldly enigma whose inner machinations are unknowable. 

So why? Why is it so unrealistic for us to expect cis straight people to be capable and willing to portray US in fiction and to portray us WELL? 

Why is that scary? Its someone literally saying that they have difficulty accurately portraying LGTBQ characters in their stories.

If that scares you then you need to grow up

Listen, I’m straight and i don’t write about LGBT characters because im not a lesbian or bi so i cannot write about LGBT people because im not one of them. You think its easy but when you have no idea what they think or experience its hard. And if you are complaining about how other people write THEIR stories, you need to get off the internet or go write your own version of it with gay or bisexual characters.

Ok, but I’m a bi woman, and I’m able to write stories that have straight men in them.

How is that possible? How is it POSSIBLE that I know how straight men think or experience the world when I’m not one of them?

Because I HAVE written a book, and it’s not filled with white, cis, bisexual women from central texas who are oldest children and literally nothing else. I am capable of creating characters who are both similar and different than I am.

It is a skill that human beings are capable of. 

yes but you are BISEXUAL so you are attracted to both sexes, plus you know how many writers get ripped on for adding gay characters in their story because they are either stereotypical or the author is not gay/bi themselves? You can write the mind of a straight man because you are attracted to girls AND boys and if you wrote a straight character you can still relate to them! Write your own fucking story and quit crying about representation when that SHOULD NOT BE THE POINT OF THE BOOK! If you write about bi or gay characters good for you! Don’t be telling other writers what to do with their talent! I’m a straight woman, i do not see anything attractive about other women so i DO NOT know what a lesbian or boy thinks about a girl in a sexual way, go write your stories but stay the fuck away from others if you can’t handle people not writing it for YOU! You can write all you want about them, but im not going to write about gay or bisexual characters and act like i know what they think and experience.

Are you seriously telling me that you are incapable of writing a straight male character? Because you don’t know what is attractive about women.

Because this is a hell of a ride.

actually im saying that you can’t know what a gay or bi person thinks or goes through everyday if you aren’t one. And yes its possible to write ABOUT them, but its difficult when you aren’t one yourself. I put them in my stories for representation, but i do not write ABOUT them because im not one of them. Some writers can do that, i cant its a weakness and if people think thats a tragedy, get over it every writer has a weakness and ive tried to overcome it but can’t. I will also quote the person whos response was the best because she is a writer as well and knows how difficult it is to write about someone who is different from you ‘ When a female writer write a male perspective, you have to get into the male mindset. If you are white and you want to write a non-white character you have to get into a different mindset. If you want to write a character that was abused but you yourself were not abused, its a different mindset. Writing a character that you don’t identify with is a challenge and almost all writers have done it at least once. So I would think other writers would be more understanding of that. ‘ So there. I never said don’t put them in your story, i just said its difficult to write about someone that is different from you. Once again, if you don’t agree, find another story to read or write one yourself.

So wait.

You’re saying that YOU, as a straight person, CAN’T know how a bi person thinks or goes through everyday, because your mindset is fundamentally different. 

But I, as a bi person, “can still relate” to straight men because I am attracted to women like they are?

Do you not see the disconnect there?

And, as I TOLD YOU, I have written stories. I’m working on my second book.

"The ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups.
All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality.
His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: 50 pounds of pots rated an “A”, 40 pounds a “B”, and so on.
Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot — albeit a perfect one — to get an “A”.
Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity.
It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work-and learning from their mistakes — the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay."

Art and Fear- David Bayles and Ted Orland (via qweety)

Perfection is intimidating.  I think most artists blocks come from the fear of creating something imperfect.

(via buttastic)

putting it even more simply: just make shit. eventually it’ll be good shit. maybe most of it will just be shit! but you can’t make good shit if you’re not making a lot of shit.

GET EXCITED AND MAKE THINGS.

(via aintgotnoladytronblues)

(via lupinatic)