Okay okay okay. So I’ve seen Star Trek: First Contact about a hundred times and I can’t believe I never noticed this.
So first contact with the Vulcans happens, right? The Vulcan ship lands…
Ooh look an alien. Pointy ears!
He offers what we as Star Trek fans recognize as the traditional Vulcan greeting.
Zefram Cochrane tries to copy…
Haha he can’t do it.
So he of course offers what he knows to be a traditional greeting, namely a handshake.
And ah yes, what a wonderful moment. Two cultures are exchanging greetings, learning about each other. It’s awesome.
Until you remember that Vulcans kiss with their hands.
So basically, this Vulcan offered a nice polite “how do you do” and Zefram Cochrane offered smoochies.
I really hope this came up in conversation later.
The Vulcans did a Kirk on the whole human race.
LET ME JUST STOP YOU ALL FOR A SECOND.
The person above was right, Vulcan’s kiss with their hands. But typically, the way they kiss only involves their index and middle finger being pressed against another person’s. That is a kiss.
In, “The Search for Spock,” you see that in the Vulcan culture, just running your fingers against someone else’s can be considered sex (the scene is super strange, but it’s heavily implied, forgive me if I’m wrong).
So, going on that thought, this isn’t just a kiss.
This is like, a make-out session, or at least a long, passionate kiss.
I just, I just can’t get over it because:
1. There are are other Vulcan’s watching these guys, but the Vulcan in front just fucking accepts the kiss.
2. This takes a second right? Like, Zefram can’t do the Vulcan salute so he offers his hand and this Vulcan just gives him this face like, “oh, um, alright? I guess I shouldn’t refuse.” And he just ACCEPTS IT.
The best thing over all is, after they connect, this Vulcan just gives this guy bedroom eyes. It’s like he’s thinking, “well, bold of you sir, bold. Such a strong grip. Perhaps we can do this again in private.”
I just…
THIS GUY.
I love the beat after the human sticks out his hand. Where the Vulcan looks down and realizes what he’s expected to do and just internally goes “Humans are fucking WILD” and fucking goes for it, full on macks on the first human he’s ever met.
Okay, but let’s also consider that Spock’s dad was a famous ambassador. Who also famously married an alien and had the hybrid baby that was Spock.
Let’s be real. Given the differing touch standards of other species (and humanity is by no means the first alien race that the Vulcans have met), it’s almost 100% guaranteed that in Vulcan society, you want your Captain Kirks i.e. your bold and kinky types to be your First Contact ambassadors. Because they are the ones who, when the brand new alien they’ve just met tries to make out with them, just roll with it and avoid kicking things off with a diplomatic incident.
Now also consider this - Vulcans had as much of a hand in shaping the Federation as humans did. While humans ultimately took prominence in the ‘exploration’ side of things, and Vulcans dominated more of the R&D end, a lot of Starfleet’s protocols were heavily influenced by them both.
So it seems extremely likely that the reason why early Starfleet captains especially were pretty wild, is because it was intentional. The Vulcans took one look at someone like Jim Kirk and were just like ‘yup, captain material, fast track him to some kind of ambassadorial position if you can but otherwise at least make sure he’s on the ship that does a lot of First Contact stuff’ and the humans were just like ‘??? well?? okay???’
Okay, 1) LOLZ, and 2) Can you IMAGINE being those people going about your normal day? And suddenly there’s a motherfucking Starfleet Officer sprinting his ass down the street, with a phaser, who happens to be a VULCAN, so you know if his ass is running, shit is about to get really real. I would be like, “Well, fuck, better call my mom, looks like we’re under attack again. Man, I knew I shouldn’t have moved to Earth. Nothing like this ever happened on Beta Aquilae II.”
When you see a Vulcan running like that, HAUL ASS IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION, HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE SO FREAKING CALM?
i mean… a vulcan running full tilt in earth gravity would be hauling ass. and he’s chasing a super human who is also super fast, so i imagine for the people he’s running past it would be like “what’s tha-*WHOOOOMMM BLUE BLUR* - WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” .
