Anonymous asked: I've always been madly in love with the story of Tam Lin and your description of it as Beauty & the Beast's older cooler cousin is 100% my favorite thing, and I was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about your feelings on the matter a little bit.
don’t get me wrong, I love beauty and the beast, I could happily read/watch/etc. nothing else but beauty and the beast adaptations for the rest of my media-consuming days
but.
if beauty found herself in a tough situation and went “well, I guess I would bang a monster born of magic and bad decisions, that’s something I did not know about myself!!!” janet went ahead and put on sensible boots and marched into the enchanted castle pulling every rose she sees up by the roots and going “WHERE’S A GIRL SUPPOSED TO FUCK A BEAST AROUND HERE”
…also, when Tam Lin tries to tell her she’s trespassed on his magic castle, her response is That’s Not How Property Rights Work You Mystical Maidenhead-Taking Squatter, which I think we can all agree is amazing.
(for extra lols, you can imagine Tam Lin as Coming Out Of The Well To Bang and/or Steal From Womankind)
Anyway, my actual favorite part of the entire story is that presumably Janet just wanted to get rid of her pesky virginity in the most epic way possible and had no intention of sticking around past the initial banging-of-an-elf, because she goes home directly afterwards. This is the part I always like to imagine Tam Lin Languishing For Love Of Janet (The Best I Ever Had), and like. Sighing a lot, and looking forlornly into his well, and being a generally useless Romantic poet about everything.
He probably writes sad poetry about it. The rhymes are terrible.
Anyway, the only reason anyone brings it up again is because a few months later, Janet’s hugely pregnant and her dad finally, tentatively asks, “so uh….this baby. who….?”
“NONE OF YOUR STUPID KNIGHTS THAT’S WHO,” Janet says, because Janet has no chill at all, no chill at all has she, and so she hies to Carterhaugh—
Anyway, she shows up on Halloween, because Janet has an appropriate sense of gothic timing, and Tam Lin is ecstatic to see her. He mentions super casually that actually he might die that night, presumably because he thinks this will convince her to bang one last one out.
(“About to be sacrificed to Hell by the faeries” is a pretty good fuck-or-die scenario, incidentally.)
Except Janet’s response is “UM EXCUSE ME WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS ELDRITCH MAGIC BABY IF YOU ARE DEAD, ASSHOLE,” and because Janet has no chill, no chill at all, she demands to know how she’s going to break the stupid curse and get him back from the faeries.
At which point Tam Lin finally comes through with the iconic line, “hold me fast and fear me not” which everyone should quote over-liberally. Plus, you get the mental image of a very pregnant Janet holding onto Tam Lin as he turns into a wild wolf and a lion bold and a snake—
Afterwards, the Fairy Queen appears and admits defeat and lets them go back to Janet’s father, who presumably was cowed into accepting this weird ex-changeling knight as his son-in-law.
Which just goes to show what any woman can accomplish if she has a sensible pair of boots, a proper sense of gothic timing, and goes around fucking whoever or whatever shows up when she weeds the garden.
there are two types of people on this site:
- people who would date a supernatural being (cryptid, werewolf, vampire, etc.)
- people who would date a technological being (computer, program, robot, etc.)
(via windbladess)
idealai asked: I just saw your tags concerning Shape of Water, completely agree with every beautiful word you say. <33 But I wanted to ask, since you're far cleverer than me (and since you are my writing role model), what would you say separates female desire from male desire? Essentially, what seperates a female fantasy from male fantasy? Just curious and keep being brilliant! :D
Well, obviously there are lots of different female fantasies, even if we’re just/primarily talking about straight women. (People get weird about different stuff, news at eleven.) But I do think there’s a certain specifically female bent for monster romance that can be differentiated from men’s.
I mean, look at the ur-monster romance, the fairytale of Beauty and the Beast. One of the major issues BatB struggles with no matter which adaptation, variation, or retelling you’re talking about is that there is something almost disappointing when the Beast transforms back into a human. In fact, in French playwright Fernand Nozier’s 1909 version, Beauty complains: “You should have warned me! Here I was smitten by an exceptional being, and all of a sudden my fiancé becomes an ordinary distinguished young man!”
The monstrosity of the Beast is the point, not a bug but a feature of the monster romance genre. And I hardly think it’s accidental that women keep being drawn to these stories—even going a step beyond, into monster romances where there is no transformation, like the Creature from the Black Lagoon (which del Toro is obviously drawing from), or the Phantom of the Opera; some adaptations of Dracula.
(Not that the modern craze for werewolves and vampire isn’t inspired by the same weird, fervid longing, but it’s been largely watered down. A proper monster romance requires an unequivocal monster, not a human-plus-fangs.)
Pick a cryptid, pick an eldritch abomination, pick an anthropomorphized concept or an elemental or a weird non-humanoid thing, pick a fantastical fictional creature and I promise you there is a woman who has thought about it. We all, in our hearts, want to fuck the fishman, or if not, then one of his monstrous cousins. Even if we’re not quite sure how that’s going to work—we kind of want to find out.
…contrast this with the narrative that dominates male-gaze monster romance stories. Here, the monstrosity is a thing to overcome, an obstacle to the romance itself, and if/when the female beast transforms, it is unequivocally positive. Sir Gawain is always delighted when he finds out his loathly bride is beautiful at night. The little mermaid’s tail is a hindrance to her becoming properly human, not an illicit draw. Despite a wealth of imagination, video games and feature films seem to be unable to move beyond female aliens as essentially a beautiful actress with green skin.
(It is genuinely hard to find monster romances where the monster is female! All searches keep straying into “beautiful woman is revealed to be a secret monster, how dare she be beautiful and a monster!” which is…the exact opposite of monster romance, tonally.)
But that, I think, is the main difference between the female fantasy of monster romance and the male fantasy of monster romance. For women, the strangeness of the monster is the point, and the deviance of the romance and the object itself is why we’re drawn to these stories. For men, the romance dies in the face of too much monstrosity, and the strangeness of the beast must be transformed before it can be loved.
#THREE CAVEATS #one: I am distinguishing monster romance from the straight-up bestiality like that found in greek myths #leda and the swan pasiphae and the bull….they’re animals not monsters #call me back when someone fucks the minotaur #two I think there are a lot of intelligent things to be said about gay men and monster romances #(given howard ashman and cocteau I think it’s a very important conversation to have) #but I’m not really the one to have it #there’s a lot of ink spilled about monster romances and queerness so I suggest you check it out if interested #and third: I think this majorly ties into how women are taught to think about desire and their bodies #in the public conversation women’s bodies and sexuality is still largely a map with “here be monsters” scrawled along the edges #so it makes sense to me that well……there are monsters there #it turns out if you tell women a bunch of contradictory nonsense junk about what they should want #and then tell them not to talk about it and act like the subject is a baffling mystery every time it comes up #they’re gonna wanna fuck fishmen and lizard people and genies with pits of fire for eyes!!!!! #who knew!!!!
